Whilst having a shower today
A bar of soap got in the way
So i shoved it aside
Fell on my backside
now that bar of soap’s gone astray…
Hmm-I’m feeling inventive
Hmm-I’m feeling inventive
Great cos i’m feeling attentive
Hmm-I’m feeling inventive
Great cos i’m feeling attentive.
Good-'cos I’ve an idea,
Hmm-I’m feeling inventive
Great cos i’m feeling attentive.
Good-'cos I’ve an idea,
Does it involve beer?
Hmm-I’m feeling inventive
Great cos i’m feeling attentive.
Good-'cos I’ve an idea,
Does it involve beer?
Nah, wine might be an incentive.
For Christmas I might go away
For Christmas I might go away
For the week or just the day?
For Christmas i might go away
For the week or just for the day?
I might go forever
For Christmas i might go away
For the week or just for the day?
I might go forever
Or then maybe never
For Christmas i might go away
For the week or just for the day?
I might go forever
Or then maybe never
Just to annoy you - I’ll stay. 
It was cold and frosty this morn
It was cold and frosty this morn
Even frostier just before dawn
It was cold and frosty this morn
Even frostier just before dawn
On my bottom I did land
oops…ignore me…
It was cold and frosty this morn
Even frostier before dawn
On my bottom i did land
Found it difficult to stand
It was cold and frosty this morn
Even frostier before dawn
On my bottom i did land
Found it difficult to stand
And to top it all, me pants were torn
Need to repair this tear in my pants
Need to repair this tear in my pants
My legs are getting covered in ants
Need to repair this tear in my pants
My legs are getting covered in ants
And me bum’s getting cold
Need to repair this tear in my pants
My legs are getting covered in ants
And me bum’s getting cold
Cos my trousers are holed
Need to repair this tear in my pants
My legs are getting covered in ants
And me bum’s getting cold
Cos my trousers are holed
And I’d forgotten to put on my scants!
An fairy or a star on my tree?
A fairy or a star on my tree?
Goodness me, now what shall it be?