A man from Gravesend in Kent
Took a big lass to his tent
The tent zip got stuck
So he was out of luck
A man from Gravesend in Kent
Took a big lass to his tent
The tent zip got stuck
So he was out of luck
But she suggested to her tent they went.
Unfortunately it had blown away
Unfortunately it had blown away
Which wasn’t much fun I would say
Unfortunately it had blown away
Which wasn’t much fun I would say
So where could they go -
for a bit of wo-ho
Unfortunately it had blown away
Which wasn’t much fun I would say
So where could they go -
for a bit of wo-ho
A Travelodge would be okay
A driver got stuck in a Jam
A driver got stuck in a Jam
So he unwrapped his sarni of ham
A driver got stuck in a Jam
So he unwrapped his sarni of ham
With a nice flask of tea
A driver got stuck in a Jam
So he unwrapped his sarni of ham
With a nice flask of tea
And a thick slice of Brie
A driver got stuck in a Jam
So he unwrapped his sarni of ham
With a nice flask of tea
And a thick slice of Brie
In a packed lunch made up by his mam.
If I could go anywhere for the day
If I could go anywhere for the day
I’d take a ferry from Dover to Calais.
If i could go anywhere for the day
I’d take a ferry from Dover to Calais
I’d go with a friend
If i could go anywhere for the day
I’d take a ferry from Dover to Calais
I’d go with a friend
And a postcard we’d send
If i could go anywhere for the day
I’d take a ferry from Dover to Calais
I’d go with a friend
And a postcard we’d send
Then book another trip without delay.
Off to the center just before dark
Off to the center just before dark
Looking around for somewhere to park
Off to the center just before dark
Center of what, the town or the park?
Off to the center just before dark
Looking around for somewhere to park
Spot a place miles away
Off to the center just before dark
Looking around for somewhere to park
Spot a place miles away
Took advantage without delay
Off to the center just before dark
Looking around for somewhere to park
Spot a place miles away
Took advantage without delay
It’s bloomin’ cold, blow this for a lark.
Ethel decided she needed a beau
Ethel decided she needed a beau
Which was hard because she’d let herself go
At a size eighteen at least
She was a bit of a beast
Her date took one look and said no
Maybe Millie would have more of a chance?