Did you know fingerprints can be lifted from skin? And they are not 100% reliable as evidence? There was an interesting program on BBC4 a while ago about fingerprints, the experts are sometimes inclined to make them fit the crime, a similar little squiggle here and a loop there, just tidy them all up and the case is solved, this was proven in one big case involving a lady police officer.
Wouldn’t it be very interesting if they could tell the date a fingerprint was made?
All the famous people who ever lived left fingerprint, you could seek they’re prints out in all the fine castles and stately homes of the world. Christ left his fingerprints on many things, so did Noah and Solomon, and a bit more recently, Jack the Ripper, everybody did and they are probably still out there, you could have them printed on a card and collect them, far better to have than autographs. How long do fingerprints last on a surface anyway? the program never mentioned that.
Not ZACKLY sure,but I do recall being taught that prints on porous surfaces last MUCH longer as recognisable individual prints,than those on damp,oily or steel surfaces,Jem. Circa 40 years on a surface untouched since…I believe it was a fuselage,but don’t quote me. Mind you-I also caused a massive row between a courting couple,when SHE was showing off her newly purchased iphone thingy,which [she said] was uber-secure as it needed her fingerprint to open it. I said bollox,hand it over-she did,smirking at me as she did so-and with a strip of sellotape,I had it open in under ten seconds.
Ohhhhhhh,boy. THAT wasn’t my cleverest [not that I’m clever,y’unnastand]move. She was instantly on HIS case,yelling and hooting and being totally incoherently obnoxiously ‘lioness’ about her new phone & how much it’d cost,radda-radda…and [apparently] it had been HIS idea coz she wanted a…I dunno…but some contraption that didn’t need fingerprints to open it,anyway. To this day [that was over a year ago] ‘the iphone incident’ is still never mentioned-EVER-in that household. [oops]
Thanks Pug, I learn something new on here all the time, as granny used to say, if you don’t ask you’ll never know.
I wonder how me thoughts went from childhood sweethearts to fingerprints? I was careful not to leave any fingerprints on my sweetheart back then, wasn’t let to be honest. I love the phone story.
Oh,it’s true Jem,it’s totally true. Whatever ‘genius’ came up with fingerprint I.D. on mobile phones must have presumed only people wearing mittens ever use them. That happened in a room with circa 25 people in it,just before Christmas 2014…suddenly,in that room,all you could hear was ‘zzzzpt’ as bits of sellotape were ripped off reels,as everyone with a touch I.D. phone tried it. But getting back to serious stuff-I innadvertantly very nearly caused my mate to choke to death today! He’d pooped over,I was making espresso and munching a banana as I waited for it,so offered him one. As he took his first bite,I happened to say out loud “Y’KNOW the world hates you,when you peel a banana-and find it’s empty”. Ohhh,boy…bits of banana all over my kitchen floor…sigh…
:-D.
What about the red, green, and yellow peppers Pug? they look gorgeous but you can’t peel them, you can’t bite into them, and when you cut them open there’s nothing inside, why do people bother with them? http://i736.photobucket.com/albums/xx4/jemflux/green-peppers.jpg
Ah-peppers are bought for the experience of being SEEN buying them,Jem.
Just like that two year old half-empty jar of paprika in your cupboard,or the jar of tumeric that you actually can’t taste and has that fiddly lid you can’t be arsed with. Y’see,if your neighbours see you buying these particular condiments,then you automatically go three places higher on their ‘Must forget to send a Christmas card to’ list,as you suddenly become rated as ‘refined’. Yes-it’s all in the aura given off as your neighbours and friend SEE you purchasing absolute essentials such as lactose-drained free-range acorn butter to go on your morning slice of sesame-seed & soya home-baked [using only coarse wheat-free flour,natch] toast. Y’see? Pah-BRING BACK BACON BUTTIES!
Ah I see Pug, oneupmanship it is then. I buy pints of Guinness for the experience of mixing with the riff raft at the local Innery.
There are always plenty of tourists visiting Dublin between April and September, more so this April on account of the 100th anniversary of the 1916 Easter Rising. Americans are among my favourites, the various accents are all great whether they be from Texas or New York, I love it. Of course mine is stranger to them as they don’t get to hear many Dublin accents over there, to them the Irish all have the same ‘Top of the mornin’ to yeh’ accent (I’ve lived here all me life and travelled all over the country and never in my 70 years have I ever heard anyone say top of the mornin’ to yeh, or begorrah for that matter) Anyway we had two nice young American lads in the pub the other night, Southerners they said they were and we didn’t inquire further, it was their first visit, the tallest of the two came over to our table and asked could he join the company, no problem, they were made very welcome and sat down. “I wanna inner duce ma buddy Wilbur to ya’all” he said with a smile on his well tanned young face.
It turned out Wilbur was a genius with the harmonica and himself a wizard on the banjo, a few of the local musicians joined in and a great unplanned session began, a terrific night was had by one and all. Isn’t it great the way good music unites everyone in happiness and goodwill.
I haven’t had such an enjoyable night in the same pub since the wife split her cord jeans when she was singing ‘June is bustin out all over’ at the old folks Christmas party. Thank you John and Wilbur.
You like the sound of racing cars Pug? Each to their own but I can’t stand the noise of them, they used to have races in the Phoenix Park right next to me and it used to go through me brain, God help anyone who lives in the Isle of Man during the racing season.
Another ‘Sporting noise’ I hate is the women grunting and groaning during Tennis matches, one would think they needed to use the toilet urgently. The click of snooker balls is quite a pleasant sound as is a Cricket bat hitting the ball on a Summers afternoon, the galloping hooves of the Horses on the race track, the Lone Ranger galloping across the plains with a plastic bag full of rubbish going 'To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, music to my ears.
Took the Dog out to the Park
Let her run free
Run and frolic howl and Bark
Just us two, her and me
Then nature calls, she squats… one long leak
Which Warden spots, and comes to speak
“Hope your goin to clean your dog’s mess up”
“My good man” I answer, “you’re a trifle Rash”
“Get your facts right, don’t sumup”
“The bloody Bitch was having a Slash”
A Park Ranger is not the most popular of jobs
Cleaning up dog shit left by the yobs
You won’t hear them sing or even whistle
Might yell though, if one sat on a thistle
Call them nasty or call them mean
But it’s all for our health and hygiene.
I wrote a hilarious poem in reply
but due to circumstance the time has passed.
I’m not writing that thing all over again.
…to be honest,I just can’t be arsed…
That’s a pity Pug, I would have loved to have read it.
I see the ads for the ‘Circulation Booster’ are back on daytime TV again, the missus bought one of these white elephants a few years back, not a sausage of good did it do her, she was sitting down on the armchair night after night with her hooves stuck on it and not a bit of difference did it make to her circulation, I told her if she wanted circulation she’d be better off doing a simple exercise every day, so she’s been doing the leg kicking exercise for the past year and she’s 100% better for it, (kicking each leg up 10 times while lying on the bed before she gets up in the mornings) and the circulation booster got dumped up the attic somewhere, so all you oldies don’t be fooled by the ads, keep your few bob in your pocket/purse, use your own power to get the blood moving through the body, kick start yourself every morning.
Well,the answer I wrote was to do with dog poo.
Coz having a dump is just something dogs do
They don’t have dog-society telling them ‘NO’
So they find a nice spot,they crouch down and let go.
Ok,it’s annoying and it’s embarrassing too.
You holding the lead while your dog has a poo
Any everyone passing is glaring at YOU
But,what the Hell am I supposed to do?
He finishes,‘wheelspins’ and off he then sets
But you’re dying of shame from the comments it gets
As you whip out the Dog-Poo-Bag from under your jacket
And gingerly try getting it all as you pack it
Without getting your fingers too close to the pile
Yet townies throw fridges in ditches all the while
And as YOU fervently pray the poo-bag won’t rip
Yet another townie pulls up to fly-tip!
I know it’s now common to see dogshit in trees
Little bags of dog poo that swing in the breeze
But when facing down a fly-tipper,bet your arse I’ll say
“LEAVE the dogshit-take your F#KING fridge away!”
One-or-two ‘hard men’ have at times become physical
[As if THAT’S going to make me back down]
And each time it’s ended with a plank from That London
Taking his shit broken fridge back to town.
So yes,my pooches will stop for a crap
‘N’ yes,it’s always when townies can see.
But they can f#ck off if they get ‘in my face’
…because I OWN this island,y’see!
Excellent Pug!, that was my laugh of the month, a true classic up there with the best, it would have been a disaster if that had not reached the scribblers page, well done mate!
I wonder how RJ, Gumbud, Solo and the rest of them are keeping this weather, haven’t heard from them for a while now, they would enjoy that too, so many old members seem to be going off the map lately, this old place has certainly changed.
Yes,it’s true,Jem…you know you’re becoming officially old,when herself tells you she has a bun in the oven-and you know it means there’ll be cake for tea! Ohhh,boy-I’m most definitely ancient now-both in outlook and in body. [well,I say ‘body’-I refer to this battered relic my mind uses as a home]
Just yesterday I was given Tramadol & Arcoxia,to help fight the crippling pain from this B#ASTARD fibromyalgia. Doc says I’m a fool to myself and should give in to it,as it’s here for life. I say SOD that idea-last one into the box is a wimp! But,in truth,it’s just part of being me. Past injuries catching up,past activities demanding payment…oh,BOY I’m becoming battered & tatty. Doc actually said to me “Pug,you should become an entertainer. Your autobiography would be a best-seller”. Honestly. FFS…I’ve been bashed,battered,bombed,blown up,shot [twice] stabbed [also twice] and had more petrol thrown at me than The Gulf produces in a year…and I’m still here-stone the crows,I’m old!
In fact,I’m SO old that the very first words anyone ever said to me were…
“Better cover your ears,Pug-there’s going to be a Big Bang,any moment now!”
Seems you’ve been in more scrapes than Batman Pug, ah well you survived and your still here in good spirits, that is to be commended.
I was looking at a program on BBC4 last night, I didn’t see the whole of it, it was all about the Boy Scout Movement and it’s founder Baden Powell, his book title “Scouting for Boys” might cause a few eyebrows to raise these days but back in the days when being gay meant you were feeling happy it was very acceptable. I have never been a Boy Scout although the missus used to be a very eager Brownie in her girlie days, I used to think a Brownie was some kind of fruit cake, turned out I wasn’t that far off, she was quite a wild one back then, still is come to think of it.
I found the program interesting and nostalgic, all innocent fun and frolics in the woods, setting up camp for the night and how to sink the tent pegs properly, singing at campfires with naked flames shooting into the air, kids with sharp knives whittling away on lumps of wood without gloves and safety goggles, health and safety would be in a panic if they watched it.
Baden’s grandson was interviewed and he was as batty as his old grandad, but a nice happy fellow.
I love the phone story.
