Leisurely Scribbles (part 5) (Part 1)

Hobbies & Pastimes Hobbies & Pastimes: Chat / Discussions
16202

Thank you Summer and Mags.:slight_smile:
I’m glad that no one takes it all seriously, it’s just a lot of ramblings from an old man.

Spitty, I heard when Johnny Cash’s parents were alive charities all over America were eager to sign them up, they did such a great job raising Cash. Oh God!:blush:

Talking of bedtime stories.

I remember at school when the teacher was telling us kids the story of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, we were only nippers and the nuns were in charge of the little boys in the convent school, although they did employ outside teachers as in our class, anyway a very righteous grumpy middle aged nun, Sister Mary Martin, was standing by as the tale was being told.

The lady teacher got to the part where the evil Queen sent the huntsman out to the forest to kill Snow White, the next night the Queen looks into the magic mirror and asks.

“Mirror mirror tell me tonight
Whatever happened to Snow White?”

The mirror replies.

“Snow White lives in a forest glen
In a pretty little cottage, with seven little men”

Stop! stop!” Shouts Sister Mary Martin, “You’ll corrupt the children. she’s not even married to any of them”:shock::wink:

Randy little buggers ain’t they.:slight_smile:

- YouTube

16203

Now we all have to make sure we’re in the right bubble, the daughter was here today and she kept her distance, seems she’s not in our bubble, she’s in her own family bubble and the two bubbles cannot merge. :shock:

So many changes being made so quickly and it doesn’t seem to be working, we’re still in the manure business with this thing, they even changed the name from coronavirus to covid-19 for God knows why, everybody around here just calls it “The Thing”

The old trick of changing the name of something bad still crops up, British Nuclear Fuels changed the name of the unpopular nuclear power station Windscale after the 1957 disaster, to Sellafield in 1981 in the hope that the memory of that tragic event would fade from peoples minds and they would embrace nuclear power, it didn’t work, but try as they may, a rose by any other name is still a rose, danger by any other name is still danger.:wink:

There will be major changes in the way we used to live when this thing eases off.
I have great sympathy for the young and not so young lovers. can you imagine the heartache of two lovers being in different bubbles?, It would be akin to each of them being on the opposite side of the old Berlin wall while a sadistic Russian guard in a watchtower laughed down at them and blasted out “I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles” from the tannoy.:smiley:
And she wrote
“Josh my Darling, I’m full of worry
For I think I am in trouble
We got together in an awful hurry
And now I have a bubble” :slight_smile:

- YouTube

16204

I dunno, not a fat lot has changed if I remember right, Egos have kept young folks aloof, for at least four decades past. They may as well have been in a bubble.:lol::lol::wink:

16205

There was a bit of a problem over the last few weeks with our dog Rocky, some nights he would just get into his basket bed and sleep when we went to bed, other nights he would start scratching the living room door and wouldn’t stop till somebody came down to him, usually me.:wink:

The obvious guess was he wanted out to do his thing, but not so, he stayed put, it was a real puzzle.
Herself was moaning about her door getting deep scratches so next day after the first night of scratching I cut out a panel of tough plastic sheet to save the door and used double-sided reusable tape to hold it in place, still on some nights he would just sleep all night without going near the door, why was he engaging in this strange behaviour?, so I started to ponder the problem.:confused:

Finally I came up with what could be the answer to this riddle, I figured that when I was last up to bed, which was more likely, he would not scratch the door, but if the wife was last up, which had been happening a lot of late, he would.

When I suggested to Phyllis to make sure she went to bed first and the dog sees her going, she just laughed and said I was daft, but I insisted she give it a try if she wanted to keep him away from the newly varnished door.

It worked!, it seems Rocky is so attached to her that he pines for her when he sees her going up to bed last, but if she goes up when I’m still there he’s satisfied, same as when she goes out to the shops or wherever, when I’m last up he couldn’t give a damn, the cheek of him after all I’ve done for him, I think he blames me that the pubs are shut and he can’t get his saucer of Guinness after his walk.:slight_smile:

Do you think I got any thanks for solving the problem? not a bit of it, all I got was “Ah sure I knew that all along”. It’s enough to drive a Saint to drink.:slight_smile:

I had the doghouse blues earlier but a few glasses of port soon fixed that, yipeeee, take it away Mr. Monroe!:smiley:

- YouTube

16206

Just leave the door open, it is a signal to the mutt, once the mutt is given options, it will curl up on the sofa, no problemo.

16207

Good idea Spitty, thanks, but what if he climbs the stairs and starts to scratch the bedroom door?
Momma don’t allow no mutts in the bedroom, ‘cept me.:smiley:

Besides I’m beginning to like the idea of herself going up earlier and leaving me in peace for that extra hour or two.
Also I can watch whatever I fancy on the big TV, or play some old music from the 60’s, and I don’t have to look at those mushy romantic films or the endless repeat quiz shows she loves to watch.
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise, the hand of God works in strange ways as they say.
Never knew God was in Strangeways, what was the crime?:shock:

TEXAS TEEN HAS THE WORLD’S LONGEST LEGS

https://i.postimg.cc/wxPRQvBh/201010150817-guinness-world-record-longest-legs-super-169-copy.jpg

”Maci Currin isn’t all legs, but they do make up 60 percent of her total height.
The 17-year-old from Cedar Park, Texas, broke two Guinness World Records: one for having the longest legs for a female, and another for a teenager with the longest legs.
Her left leg is over 53 inches long, while her right leg is slightly shorter, at 52.874 inches, according to Guiness.
•
In a video posted on the group’s YouTube channel, Currin’s mother talks about realizing that her daughter was taller than her peers at an early age.
“I guess there’s some kind of gene in there that gives her that tallness,” her mother said in the video.
Currin is 6-foot-10. Her father was 6-foot-5, her brother is 6-foot-4 and her mother is 5-foot-7.” (CNN)

Her legs are about 4’5” long!, some legs!
The first thing that came into my mind as I saw this news item was wouldn’t this girl make an ideal athlete?
The long jump, the pole vaulting, running etc., I mean if she was in the 100 metres dash and she fell she’d be halfway there.
I hope this young lady has a very bright future ahead of her, she’s pretty as well.

All my three brothers were taller than me, I’m 5’ 8” and was always happy with that, never had any wish to be taller. The wife is an inch smaller than me but she has longer legs than me.
Most women seem to have longer legs than men for some reason, maybe it’s in their genes originating from running away from the randy chasing cavemen.;-):slight_smile:
The other side of the coin is like when the girl told her casual boyfriend she was pregnant, then asked him what steps he’ll be taking.
“Long ones my dear.”
The dirty rat.:slight_smile:

16208

My missus has a great appetite, she always had and I know her since she was a child, her mother and mine were great friends living in the same neighbourhood and we had many meals together in either her house or mine as children.
I enjoy a good meal too, but food is just food to me, body timber to keep the engine going, you have to have it or cease to exist, I don’t give it a lot of thought except when I feel hungry, and I’ve stopped eating meat several years ago, not because I feel guilty about eating other creatures and I was never over fond of meat anyway, I just went off it rather suddenly, didn’t fancy it anymore.
Although seeing a video years ago of a woman dying of the human equivalent of mad mad cow disease never left my mind, I wish I’d never seen it, but it’s possible my subconscious might have triggered me to give up meat, who knows.:wink:

Still I wouldn’t go preaching to others to give up meat, it was just a personal decision on my part so good luck to all the meat eaters and may they enjoy their meals forever.:slight_smile:

There is an ad on TV that annoys me, the name alone is an out an out statement glorifying gluttony, “JUST EAT”’.
While governments all over the place are spending millions trying to get people to watch what they eat and how often they eat, out comes an ad telling everyone to “Just eat” The mind boggles.:confused:

What kind of brain came up with that stupid name, “JUST EAT”?, it was founded by a Dane (Jesper Buch) in 2001 and the name could have lost something in translation, but to me it sounds vulgar and it smacks of complete indifference to the customer, “Give us your money now, shut up, and just eat.”:shock:

They tell gamblers to “Gamble sensibly” and drinkers to “Drink sensibly”, why not tell folks to “Eat sensibly”?.

What would our good citizens look like if all they did was “Just eat”?, talk about the health service being over whelmed as it is now, I shudder to think what it would be like if everyone JUST ATE.

Phyllis used to a devil for eating Frankfurter sandwiches, she would eat them till the cows come home then eat the cows if she could.
So every night I used to bring her Frankfurter sandwiches, and she would say Thanks for the sandwiches.
Sorry but this song has been ringing in me ears all day, some of you oldies might remember it from 1961. :slight_smile:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/FxZdVQd0Hyo

16209

I remember that song Jem, a good ole foot-tapper too. :lol:

They don’t make 'em like that these days! :mrgreen:

16210

Jem, Birds with long legs, just eating!! Its got to be said, did you notice the size of the young ladies “Plates of Meat”.:lol::lol:

16211

I had an idea you’d remember it Mags, you were very helpful in finding some old recordings for me when I started here. I don’t forget that, and I thank you.:wink:

Yer woman’s feet?
How could one help but notice Spitty, the chap who marries her will have to accept defeat because they come with de legs.:slight_smile:

Swings and roundabouts, at the start of this coronavirus disaster it was the first wave, then a lockdown, followed by a curve and then a swing, next a second wave followed by different bubbles, and now we’re all in tiers, and who would blame us.
Oh stop press!, I’ve just heard the latest one on the news, it’s “circuit breakers”, my oh my, what will they come up with next?

How about ‘slices’, they could slice off one infected section of the community and isolate it, then if that works slice off another section until the whole national ‘cake’ is infected then all will be immune, don’t let anyone in or out of the country for six months and everything will be tickity boo.
Well it couldn’t be any worse that’s for sure, experts me arse.

Seriously though, the mental strain is almost at breaking point with many young and old people I know.:frowning:

We had two nephews and their lovely French friend over last Sunday afternoon (observing the distance rule of course).
Philip, his brother Harry, and the lovely Monick, fine classical musicians and all outstanding in our back garden, except the lovely Monick who was outsitting, one cannot play the cello whilst outstanding.;-):slight_smile:

Phil is a flautist, we call him Phil the fluter. Harry is a violinist, we just call him Har, while Monick plays the cello as I’ve already mentioned.

The neighbours were delighted as the air was filled with beautiful Phil Har Monick music. sigh.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you in all her glory!
The Lovely Monick and her Mellow Cello!!!:wink:

https://i.postimg.cc/MKQRVHvN/Monick.jpg

16212

Phil Har Monick, never saw that one coming.:lol:

You can’t beat a bird with a Cello and Bellows.:lol::lol:

16213

The neighbours were delighted as the air was filled with beautiful Phil Har Monick music. sigh.

:043::043::043:

It’s the way you tell them, Jem :lol:

Brilliant!

16214

Where would we be without the binary two figure system, 50 years behind times I suppose.
I have always had a wild theory that everything involved in the whole shebang of creation is based on “two’s”

Everything is a series of “in’s” and “out’s” and “opposites”, energy goes in and then passes out again in another form and then travels on, but it never dies and energy is life, once we come into the world we have to go back out again, that’s guaranteed, but in what form does the mind depart the body?, a hiss of gas? puff of smoke, a nasal droplet?, who knows, but it’s gone somewhere that’s for sure.:confused:

Then you have male and female, good and evil, up and down, dark and light, etc., two of everything,
If you take the human body, we have two eyes, ears, legs, hands, feet, lungs, nostrils, breasts, two sides to the most important part of the body, the brain.

There was Noah and the animals two by two into the great arc, when he had them all in he says to God “Now I’ve herd everything”
After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to “Go forth and multiply!”
The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.
When Noah asked them why, they replied, "We can’t multiply, we’re adders.
Not to mention Moses with his two stone tablets, ideal for grinding headaches. ;-):slight_smile:

Based on the binary code system, my theory is that if there is a place for the living (earth) then there must be a place for the souls, or minds of the dead, both are separated at death, we know where the remains go, but what happens to the other bit? the mind, that was responsible for all the actions of the body.
Is it not reasonable to assume, and seeing that there is no one on this earth who knows what happens to the “self” of a dead person, that there is another place for them?

Don’t mind me, I wasn’t thinking outside the box, that’s strictly for the scientists and some old men to say when they try to be trendy, I was just thinking outside the logic.;-):slight_smile:

- YouTube

16215

You need to stop thinking, and wait, for a while.:slight_smile:

16216

“You know when an atheist is getting really old, they get confused with all the contractionary scientific explanations and begin to wonder did the universe really just happen at random… then they start spelling God with a capital “G” (Ikdam O’Dea)

Yes who can forget the writings of old Ikdam.;-):slight_smile:

The thing about living in the same area all your life is you get to see a lot of your old school mates everyday, well I used to when the pubs were open. :frowning:
Most of mine turned out just as I expected they would, the real bright ones went into business, the not so bright all turned out to be good hard workers, two of the toughies became coppers, you had to at least 5’11” and well built to be a copper back then, and one real lazy boy went into politics.
I used to have a pint with some of those who are still living and we would talk about the teachers we had and how packed the classrooms were then, the subject doesn’t come up often now because we all had one thing in common, we all hated school.

Irish primary schools in the 50’s were not for sissys, with 50 kids to a class and a few sadistic masters, primary school was something you survived not enjoyed and after the shock of it all very few went on to further education, most left it all behind when they reached 14, the legal age to quit school.

A new university campus has recently been built just a few minutes walk from where I live, all the houses here have jumped up in value since it opened, greedy landlord house grabbers were wise to this for a long time, even before the first brick was laid, and all available houses in the area were snapped up to be rented out at 2,000 euros a month and often more, out and out robbery, I detest this selfish practice as it means young couples don’t stand a chance of getting a house, we need more young families here. :twisted:

These small houses here were built in the early 1930’s and I see on our deeds this house cost 310 pounds, today it would fetch 400,000 euros no problem, probably more with the large side garden.

- YouTube

16217

Time to Rejoice in the obvious, incomplete databases, the scourge of online society.:lol:

16218

Some folks decide to drop out of society altogether, all sorts of people, they’ve just about had enough of it.:wink:

16219

I remember that old saying about spongers “He’s like a pair of dirty knickers, always on the bum”
Why am I on about bums you may well ask.

Well that everlasting question by women “Does my bum look big in this” came up again in my house today, the daughter had bought a new dress and was showing it off to the wife.
I slithered out the back door and into the shed knowing I was about to be asked the question next.:shock:

Ode To A Low Down Bum. by Jem.

She turned me down cos I’m a low down skunk
Now she’s gonna marry a filthy rich hunk
And live in a mansion without any junk
While I lie broken hearted on my hard wooden bunk.

Nobody loves a low down punk
He’s all washed up and his ship has sunk
No more kisses and no more romances
He’s busted and lost all his loving chances.

She turned me down cos I drank too much
Said she never seen me sober as such
She’s tired of always going Dutch
So she opened the door and gave me the push.

She turned me down cos I got too fat
She could never put up with that
Just because she’s as skinny as a lath
She only liked me when my belly was flat.

She turned me down cos I developed a stoop
Said I looked like a fat hula hoop
I didn’t fit in with her elite group
Now she’s gone and left me in the soup.

She turned me down but I’ve just met another
She’s fat and drinks like a sailor’s brother
Looks after me like a loving mother
And now I love her like no other.

There’s no spanner that can adjust a low down bum.
I suppose it’s true what they say “As God makes them he matches them”;-):smiley:

https://i.postimg.cc/05pZrHG1/671f496606657b2ec0a85c2418d95a47.jpg

16220

Very good Jem! :lol:

16221

Yep, Jem is slowly diluting the sceptical.:lol::wink: