What happened to Bingbong. I think that was it, it was a short relationship.:-)
“Dicky Dicky doubt with his shirt hanging out” A very old one that, can’t remember the rest of it.
Anyone know the rest?, someone? anyone?, anyone at all? Now who used to say that on this forum.;-)
I notice that there are a lot of solicitors advertising (I remember when it was illegal for solicitors to advertise) for clients who have been “miss sold” insurance and other things by the banks over the years.
Lovely words, “miss sold” sort of innocent sounding like “miss placed”, you know “not our fault really”.
Miss sold is a new one on me, I can remember the old word for it, it used to be called “Swindled” and another word for it was “Conned” taken from the words “Confidence trickster”, however seeing that they are banks who used to rely on people trusting them completely with their hard earned few bob, they had to come up with a respectable sounding name for robbing the folks who trusted them, bloody scandalous in my opinion, especially when we are all suppose to be equal in the eyes of the law, the directors should have been lagged the whole lot of them.
Consider for a minute that if I made a very expensive diamond ring for one customer, and an identical not so expensive one for another customer, the expensive ring had a real diamond while the cheaper one had a man made Diagem in it, hard to tell the difference with some of these new man made stones, especially to the untrained eye.
Then suppose I decided to pull a con job on the wealthy real diamond customer and I substitute the Diagem and hold onto the real stone. The customer takes the ring to be valued for insurance purposes and I’m found out.
But I’m not worried, all i have to say is “I’m so sorry madam, but I miss sold that ring to you, that was meant for someone else”
Think I’d get away with that in court? not likely, but then I’m only a bench worker not a banker.
Greedy buggers, money is not the root of all evil, money is a good tool if used wisely, greed is the enemy and always was, someone always wants to have all the lolly and all the power that goes with it.
This brilliant scene from the film “Tom Thumb” came to my mind.
One yard in,
And one yard out!
Cant remember anymore at the moment Jem!
But will search my archives and report back tomorrow!
I expect youve heard that one before though?
Similar to l’ll get back to you, or l was just going to call you, etc?
And what about when you go to pick up a repaired article on the
promised due date and we are still waiting for parts, will arrive this
afternoon!
I expect you’ve got your own tales on this theme?
Donkeyman!
Hoping Solo is improving and will be back with the scribblers soon…
Yes indeed Mags she’s badly missed, just thinking about her as I logged in.
The sooner this long drawn out Winter is over the better for all of us”
“One yard in and one yard out” that was it.
Thank you kindly for giving me that extra line Donkeyman, it was driving me nuts trying to remember it.
Waiting for parts is the watchmakers favourite excuse, in the old days a good watchmaker made his own parts if he couldn’t get them handy, but I was never a watchmaker, worked in the same room with some, but it’s a completely different trade, you’d know more about watches than I would, I make rings, pendants, broochs, etc from precious metals, set stones in and finish polishing them, that’s my lot for my sins. Oh I also learned Celtic engraving ten years ago, new to me and I love doing it.
I do very little in the workshop now as me old eyes are not the best, I have to use a strong magnifying lamp when I do the fine work now such as engraving, ah well I’m not complaining, it served me well and I never considered it to be “work” as such, I had a good innings on the bench.
That sounds more like a retired judge, I should have said a good innings sitting on the bench, no that’s even worse again, I wasn’t sitting on the bench, that sounds like I was a lazy tramp, I was sitting AT the bench. well yeh know what I mean and to hell with the grammar.
Still no response from RJ to my latest PM, I wonder is he OK. I loved his stories about his Uncle Vivian, what a lovable old rogue he was.
I have a post typed out somewhere about my real life wicked Uncle, true tale, quite the reverse of old Uncle Viv, I’ll post it when I find it.
When I appeared on Mastermind back in 1981 I chose Egyptology as my specialist subject.
As a shepherds boy I used to study Ram asses in the meadow, some of them had the clinkers real bad, ugh! (you have to be a shepherd to know what clinkers are, and believe me you don’t want to know)
This chap Christy Hennessy worked in construction for most of his life and finally asbestoses caught up with him and he passed away in 2007, very sad just when he was at the height of popularity over here. The good folks of Tralee in Kerry have erected a statue of him down there where he was born, rest in peace Kit.
Starting off as a messenger boy myself I love this old song he wrote.
We now have Ballet, in the City of a Thousand Trades, and not before Time.
What about the face that launched a thousand ships? Was she made redundant since H&W closed down? 
I’m not one for sports except having a small daily flutter on the nags, but the wife loves the Gaelige football as does my son and his son. The Dublin football team have won the all Ireland title for the past five years in a row and she searched everywhere looking for a commemorative tee-shirt for our son and his seven year old son, just to have as a souvenir, anyway she had no luck.
She was in town today and spotted the shirts she was looking for at a market stall, she asked the lad how much they were and he told her €10 each, she wasn’t sure if she’d have enough money for her messages so she told him she would be back.
When she got the rest of her shopping done she found she had plenty over so went back to yerman, he said he only had toddler shirts left, but she could go three stalls down to his brother and he might have the larger sizes. When she got there she was in luck the brother had them in all sizes, she asked him how much they were and he said €5!!!, so she got one large one for the son and one smaller one for the boy, and all for a tenner.
She was thrilled telling me this when she got home, one would think she won the lotto. She took a snap of one shirt to send to the son, here it is below, not bad for €5.
Well done Philomena, said I.
Great when you have an easily pleased and contented wife, them fussy birds are the back of the neck. ;-)
https://i.postimg.cc/CLzX9W4L/IMG-2123-copy.jpg
There was nothing good on TV today after the horse racing so I watched that old film again “Some Like it Hot”, I thought Marilyn was terrific in it, as was Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon, George Raft had a part in it too, I never knew Raft was an old pal of gangster Bugsy Siegel when he was younger.
George Raft was a small man, but did you know he had a very tall younger brother?, yes, his name was Ger Raft and it cost the family a fortune for cough mixture every time the poor lad got a sore throat. 
Home at last as I decided being a bit of a diva…well a lot of diva to be truthful isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. 
Have to take things a bit easy so will catch up slowly but surely…you have been missed my friends :hug: x
It’s good to see you back on your feet again, Solo 
Take things easy…
Great that your OK Solo, it was a pleasant surprise to see you here today, as you say you know you’ll have to take it easy so never mind the catching up bit, it’s a waste of time, you can never catch up with scribblers, just when you think you are there they fly off in a completely different direction, just be your usual good humoured self and post anything whenever you feel up to it, we just continue where we start off here, Spitty sacked the continuity girl ages ago.;-)
Am I glad I got that new felt roof on the hut last week, had I not it would have been destroyed along with my beloved collection of Agatha Christie paperbacks and electrical stuff, old TV, old computer, CD player, speakers, and what have you, I had someone’s prayer. Went out to inspect it a while ago when there was a break in the weather, it was as dry as a bone in there, thank God for that.
Just read the thread about Apple being fined for slowing down old phones, quite right too.
I’m old fashioned and I still have one of those old phones and yes I’d agree with all the complaints, the old phones are certainly slowing down now forcing us to buy new ones.
Well I’m a stubborn old git and it won’t make me buy a new one.
Why it was only yesterday while having coffee in the drawing room that I got a call from Alexander Bell himself asking me if the phone he sold me all those years ago was still going strong, I said it was and fair play to you Alex old bean, but the cloth cable is nearly worn out and the threads are all unraveling, I just hope it doesn’t pack up on me because I don’t think they do the spare parts anymore.:shock:
Don’t mind me I’m losing the little bit I had. ;-)
The great thing about the old public telephones was deceit only cost a shilling, and spiel was regulated by time, ahh, the good old days.
Good to hear you are Ok Solo.
Ta so much for the good wishes. Truth be told the gales blew us all out of our hospital beds… but I’m not complaining :-D:-D:-D
Will do a bit of back reading eventually cos I do enjoy the scribbles meanwhile…my little bit for now ;-).
Us women can’t leave well alone can we…surely they know there were no female vikings 
Since 1876 Shetland has been home to Up Helly Aa, a Viking festival with all the expected revelry ending in a large replica longship being set on fire. Women and girls have never been allowed to be involved in the squads…but guess what…they are now demanding equel rights. Kirk Douglas will be turning in his grave bless him:shock.:
clip includes a swear word
Now that is sad, just because the lads enjoy dressing up and marching about, shouting and burning boats, the women want to muscle in on them, well that’s the way of the world now, hell hath no fury like a woman being left out of something.;-)
Being a Dubliner meself and from good Viking stock, when the Vikings settled and founded Dublin all those centuries ago they “Became more Irish than the Irish themselves” as history tells us, so I can understand the lads frustration, enjoy it next time fellas, it will more than likely be the last year as you knew it.
Ah you mention deceit Spitty.
“Beware of those who’s eyebrows meet, for in their heart there lies deceit”
If we were to take all these old wives tales seriously we wouldn’t venture out the door at all.
Take that eyebrows one, all men’s eyebrows grow longer as they age and are bound to meet at some stage, doesn’t matter how big or high your nose is (see my post about big high noses back in 2015 ;-))) to block this happening, nor how far apart your eyes are, (see post about big far apart eyes in same year)) the hair on the eyebrows will join up eventually, unless of course one shaves them or plucks them out, so are we to take it that all old lads are deceitful evil devils?:shock:
Personally I’d be more wary of those who’s nasal hair goes unchecked and grows straight down to form a toothbrush moustache, remember Hitler?
And what about “Look before you leap”? Sounds good advice but then another one tells us the complete opposite “He who hesitates is lost”
I think you’re better off using your own judgement when one senses danger, and remember what Confucius said about adventurous women pilots “Lady flying aeroplane upside down heading for honourable crack up”
I watched “Blazing Saddles” again after many years, Slim Pickens certainly lashed on the weight, I remember him when there wasn’t a pick on him, hence his name.
These show business folks should really think ahead before they settle on a stage name, last time I saw Robert Young in a film he was as old as the hills, what about Boy George, Sam Kidd, and where would you leave the Beach boys? any of them still alive are well into their 80’s, boys me arse, hairy old boys.
Now if i was a young man going into the business I would have called meself Armageddon Older, it covers all decades and avoids confusing the young folks.;-)
That track is music to my ears Jem, thank you, just goes to show Every Good Boy Deserves Favour, and no matter your stage name, you can’t “Stave” off the years, and the Spit will evaporate.:-)
Dem’s wise words Spitty, remind me of that enlightening read the “Spitwick Papers”, written by Joe Spitwick in Spitwick Barn, Kirdford in Chichester. 
I particularly like the word “Stave” and included it in an early poem I wrote during the great depression here ten years ago when the bubble burst and everything changed for the worst, the lines start off thus.
“Mister Cronkill knew not his fate
The day a dead mouse he ate
An out of work ironmonger
He did it to stave off his hunger”
Yes them was hard times alright.
It’s only in hard times that some of the best idea’s come to light.
My little dog Rocky II does not get on well with my daughter’s dog Phoebe, every time she takes her dog down to us either to look after her while she’s away of just on a visit they never stop growling and snarling at each other, one would assume that as he is a he and she is a she they would at least try to make lourve to one another, but no, not a bit of it, perhaps they are just two gay dogs?
The situation was becoming very troublesome and a solution had to be found, I pondered this problem while sitting in the pub last Summer, and bingo! I found the solution.
The treats Phoebe liked (provided by my daughter) Rocky didn’t like and vice versa, so I crumbled up some of hers with some of his, added an ingredient found in most kitchens which I’m not going to tell you about, mixed them with milk to make a paste, shaped it out to little rounds and let them dry naturally, then I gave one to each of the dogs.
It worked wonders, they loved it, after two biscuits each the growling stopped and the pair of them trotted off down the garden tail in tail like two young lovers in Springtime, problem solved.
I have now patented the process and have sold it to a well known dog food producer, I also sold them the name for the new product, I called these little biscuit like treats “Pet Agree Chums” with the slogan “Pet Agree Chums makes dogs wag their bums” and they’re selling like hot dogs at a baseball game, this time next year I’ll be a millionaire.
I think I’ve finally flipped, I shall lie down now for a while after that.;-)
Hmmmmmmm hot dogs you say… (and don’t you go encouraging him spitty)
My dog gets a saucer of Guinness when I take him out for a walk, he knows the pub well and won’t budge past it until I take him inside for his tipple, all the regulars love him and he knows it, it’s doing him a power of good too and he’s never been sick since we got him 8 years ago, it’s also a great excuse for me to get a pint. “Phyllis I think Rocky is dying for a drink, shall I take him out now my dear?” “Certainly James, take as long as yeh like, you know it’s good for him”
Now I ask yeh, where would one get a rock solid excuse like that, everyone’s a winner.
Inspired and encouraged by Spitty ;-):-D, I will now recite my poem.
The Talking Cat.
by Jem.
I had a talking cat and I took him to New York
To put him on the stage and let the people gawk
He had a nasty streak and was also very rude
He sometimes quoted Shakespeare while standing in the nude
I dressed him in a petticoat, to take the bare look off
But I overstepped the mark that night, and he told me to f… off. :shock:
This was my favourite short cartoon from the first time I saw it many years ago, “The Singing Frog”
Whilst Rocky is lapping up his saucer of healthy Guinness he would not realise that sickies no longer get that as part of what was once part of NHS treatment
Not sure when it was stopped…maybe this had something to do with it .http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/sad/crying.gif
