Nothing would surprise me spitty but I never question anything of a holy nature …just in case 
I just got back from yet another funeral, I had to travel down to Carlow, no relation but a very old and dear friend of mine. It’s very true what they say, the older you get the more funerals you get to. To be honest I’m becoming browned off with them, worse still I’m becoming sort of immune to them if you know what I mean.
I’m knackered now so I’m up to me bed for a nap.
That is a lovely song no doubt, thanks for that Solo.
Ah confessions, had me belly full of them in me day, the last time I got confession was back in 1965 the night before I was married.
Flying banknotes, now there’s a new hazard created by modern banking, you takes yer money out of the machine and it blows away, of course that would never happen in the old days, the money was always safe from gusts of wind because it was only taken out of the purse or wallet whilst in the safety of your local shop or pub, besides the money was metal and wind proof, seldom did paper money reside in the common purse back then.
I once courted a clergyman’s daughter Spitty?, Grace was her name and a graceful little angel she was too. Although a clergy man he was a man after me own heart, very obliging, he invited me to dinner one Sunday afternoon at the Vicarage and said I could do Grace before meals. 
I once courted a clergyman’s daughter Spitty?, Grace was her name and a graceful little angel she was too. Although a clergy man he was a man after me own heart, very obliging, he invited me to dinner one Sunday afternoon at the Vicarage and said I could do Grace before meals.
What is done cannot be undone, the luck of the With-draw.
I avoid going to friends funerals as I find the talk so hypocritical the way it goes from “how good they were” to ‘all their faults being brought up’ in the space of such a short time. Rather remember as I want to remember them.
Those new plasticky 5 and 10 pound notes are slippery little things and they won’t fold up either and think nothing of leaping out of your purse with out warning…and it may mean they wash well for those who forget to clear their pockets but what’s the point if the blasted things have done a flyer…and for once it has nothing to do with old or rheumatic hands as we are all getting caught out with them. I can’t ever remember any other note that we have had that behaved like that.
Still good to know the sainted Dave Allen had trouble with a tenner too
Yeh I remembered that one of Dave Allan’s, that was when a tenner was a tenner.
We haven’t had any of the plastic notes yet Solo.
Is human genetic engineering going on in labs on the sly?
They’ve had the technology to do this for years now and they’re just itching to go, so far only strict laws have prevented them.
We all remember when they created Dolly the Sheep, then we had the two headed calf which caused an outcry and then everything went very quiet after that. This makes me suspicious, very suspicious.
Although there are very tight rules and regulations regarding procedures in this field I think there is a hive of activity going on behind closed doors, especially in the three most powerful countries, USA, China, and Russia.
Scientists have ways of getting their own way, usually under the guise of “National security”, arguing that the opposition could take the lead and be the first to create a “Super soldier” for example, one who knows no fear and has the strength of ten men. It’s all about the few controlling the many, as it’s always been, and any ideas in that line are always welcomed by the few.
I’d be willing to bet as I type that there are some made to order humans already walking around the planet, apprentice presidents and chairmen for multi national companies, humans with some emotions deliberately removed, fully mobile zombies who look normal and act normal up front but behind it all they have no conscience nor human compassion, and certainly no love for other humans.
Give another generation and these creatures will have sired a whole new tribe of power hungry monsters, greed is a powerful driver and who knows it might all go belly up and with a bit of luck they might just turn on each other.;-)
I was sitting at the bar today talking to Conor the landlord about this, he also owns a big restaurant in town, and two more in his native Cavan, he was saying he thought is was a great idea, made to measure people, well he would wouldn’t he, he’s an arch capitalist from Cavan.
“The first batch of genetically engineered workers I’d order would be ten bow legged waitresses” says he.
“Why is that?” says I.
“Because they’d be much quicker serving the customers, they wouldn’t have to walk around the tables”
Miserable Git.
This is someone’s idea of how girls will look in the future. Seems the Peter Lorre/Marty Feldman look will be all the rage. “What do ya wanna make those eyes at me for…”
Actually the third picture from the left looks a lot like one of the girls in my local bookies, she never smiles but she’s ever so efficient and never makes a mistake. Wonder has she got bandy legs? I’ve never seen her outside the counter.
Jem, just saying, you are probably to old for an Encounter, so, will probably never know.
I think we are at 13 Tevs, the max is 14, is it better to be at 14 because 13 is an unlucky number.:-)
Are you saying that Jems energetic photon is missing a large transverse momentum .:shock:
In the schoool holidays we used to get sent out with a sandwich and a bottle of lemon barley water…and warned to be home before dark…or else.
On our rambles we often stopped in on a farmer to see if he had anything that had been born funny as although rare he had once shown us a 2 headed calf before he put it down. We often discussed that little calf and wondered where things would go in the future.
Our comics were already predicting robots and space ships and we saw no reason to doubt that nor has it surprised me at the technology now being used.
What is scary though is an assassination can be triggered thousands of miles away and I doubt if anyone of my generation could have foreseen that. I could be wrong but I do believe we were more fairer minded as to how we preferred someone being ‘taken out’. Long distance clobbering is simply not British is it. .
Mind you when we are not moaning some of us humans can still show a robot a thing or two…especially the old man with the mobiles at 4.28. for someone who can barely use one I was suitably impressed. :-D:-D:-D
[quote=“spitfire, post: 1844751”]
Jem, just saying, you are probably to old for an Encounter, so, will probably never know.
[/QUOTE
Too true Spitty.
However, my older brother used to do the Liffey swim many years ago, it is an annual event in Dublin, the Liffey is filthy at the town centre as all the sewage flows in just before it reaches the sea. When he got home he told me that as he was doing the Australian crawl with his mouth wide open a stool approach him, he quickly turned his head and closed his mouth.
“So you had a close encounter of the turd kind, eh bro?” 
That video reminded me of when I worked piece work on the thousands of cast silver Tara Brooches, you get into a rhythm and after a couple of weeks you actually can do it with your eyes closed, what I think happens is that as they are all identical pieces the brain is programmed to record all the movements of the hands, so when the eyes are closed for a while the brain can “see” the object in front of you.
All those workers seemed to be enjoying their work, that’s half the battle as they say, they may be be paid buttons but their cost of living is much much lower that ours, folks never think about that in their calculations. 
I’m reminded of this old song me mother used to sing to us as kids.
It could easily be mistaken for a video of our own Oldgreyfox on his last visit to Ireland.;-)
Have a good look at yerman’s legs Foxy and eat your heart out.;-)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=
/qW59PCgsINU
Some recent statistics from our census taken in 2016 have been published and I was very surprised to see we have more women here than men, as I said to the missus when I read it “It’s a pity it wasn’t like that when I was single, I could have been a bit more choosey” (she has a good sense of humour thank God) ;-)
Our population has increased to almost 5 million, still a long way to go to what it was before the great famine in 1845 when we had 8 million.
“As the world marks International Women’s Day, the Central Statistics Office (CSO) has released some interesting numbers.
It says Census 2016 showed Ireland had 2,407,437 females - an increase of 91,884 or 4.0% on the previous census in 2011.
In April 2016, the overall sex ratio of 97.8 males for every 100 females meant 53,009 more females than males in the State.
There were 30,617 more women than men in the Dublin region - the largest difference being in Dublin city.
Marriage and divorce
According to Census 2016, there were 1,236,634 single women (of all ages) out there, an increase of 3.0% on 2011.
There were also 148,617 widowed women, which was more than the number of ladies who were separated (66,563) and divorced (60,563) combined.
The number of divorcees also increased 18% since the previous census.
Women were more likely to be married than single by the age of 33, while for men this happened at age 35.
The peak age for separated or divorced* persons was 53 years in 2016, compared with 48 years in 2011.
Women were also more likely to be widowed than married by the age of 79, compared with age 76 in 2011.
Education
In general, women were better educated than men in April 2016.
In all, 43.2% of women aged 15 and over had a third level qualification, compared with 40.7% of males.
Among those aged 25 to 39, women tended to stay in education longer than men.
Average wage for workers is €23.7 per hour. Ireland now has full employment”
There you go lads, if your looking for a smart well educated woman Dublin is the place to be, but God help yeh, you’ll be kept on yer toes all the time, for there’s no fooling them smart well educated women.;-)
Oh to be 21 and single again, and know what I know now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/1VTzjxGJNS4
Good as it was, there is no interest in secondary Stab.
Lets just see where it goes.
I used to love Goldie Hawn in films, I hadn’t seen her on screen for a long time until the other night, there she was on ITV4 in the 2017 film “Snatched”, I didn’t recognise her! she obviously had plastic surgery done and it changed her completely, and not for the better, why can’t they just leave things alone and grow old naturally.
Well here’s a bit of surgery that had a happy ending.
I knew a woman who was a plumber, she was very masculine for a woman and was more comfortable in the company of men, born in the wrong body as they say. I knew her through my brother in law who was also a plumber, we have no difficulty laying our hands on plumbers when the need arises, and all plumbers know electricians so they are no problem finding, and all electricians know plasterers….and so on, it’s not what you know in these trades it’s who you know and who they know, if you know what I mean, but I’m getting carried away from the story as usual.
Anyway as soon as she had enough saved for the transformation operation to become a man complete with male tackle she was having a pint with us old lads in the local and she was looking very worried about the coming operation. I jokingly told her everything would work out alright and she’ll be a new man when it’s over.
She said her surgeon was from Austria and has done hundreds of these operations right across Europe, she had to travel to Austria for the job to be done.
A few months later he that was a she came into the pub and we were all stunned, there stood a fine handsome 36 year old smiling happy man in a navy blue suit, short hair and black moustache.
I asked him how things went over in Austria
“Well Jem, it was a very delicate operation as you can imagine and I’m pleased to say he was able to make a complete balls of it” :shock:
It took me a while to get his meaning, but he was one happy fella who gave the impression he was going to be happy ever after. I was so pleased for him, haven’t seen him since but I believe he went to California to join his American Dad there.
Who can remember this old song?
Watched ‘The Ghost and Mrs Muir’ on you-tube last night, it was quite a few years since I saw it last and I enjoyed it. George Saunders, Mister suave himself, the typical toff in most of his films, was in it.
Sometimes I like to look up the lives of actors after watching a film they appeared in, I was dumbfounded to discover he was not even an Englishman, he was in fact a Russian, born in St Petersburg in 1906 and moved to England just before the revolution. He was 65 when he popped himself in 1972.:shock:
“Sanders suffered from dementia, worsened by waning health, and visibly teetered in his last films, owing to a loss of balance. According to Aherne’s biography, he also had a minor stroke. Sanders could not bear the prospect of losing his health or needing help to carry out everyday tasks, and became deeply depressed. At about this time he found that he could no longer play his grand piano, so he dragged it outside and smashed it with an axe. His last girlfriend persuaded him to sell his beloved house in Majorca, Spain, which he later bitterly regretted. From then on he drifted.[21]
On 23 April 1972, Sanders checked into a hotel in Castelldefels, a coastal town near Barcelona. He was found dead two days later, having gone into cardiac arrest after swallowing the contents of five bottles of the barbiturate Nembutal.[22][23] He left behind three suicide notes, one of which read:
Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck”
Wikipedia.
Did you know that Sidney James was a South African, and Richard Todd was born in Dublin. That was news to me, great what one can learn on the internet these days.
Battling a hearty cold and a cough the churchyard would be proud to own…given the chance. It’s keeping me awake and most of the neighbourhood. Not funny though as these generic antibiotics just dont seem to do the trick like the good old brand name ones did…so will catch up when feeling a bit more wiv it so to speak .
I’m sorry to hear you’re not the best Solo, not to worry Spring is on the way and hopefully all these bugs will disappear, although January hadn’t been as bad this year as it normally is, having said that we’ll probably have snow in March like we had here two years ago.
Looking at an old documentary type film last night made in 1933 all about a police department in New York that dealt exclusively with missing persons and it was based on real cases, like the actress trying to get into the newspapers who went “missing” for two weeks on the advice of her publicity agent, she was to be “found” just two nights before a play she was in opened on Broadway, free publicity at the expense of the public, I was surprised to see she wasn’t prosecuted for wasting police time.:shock:
But the one about the kidnapper who kidnapped the son of a wealthy diamond importer and then sent 5 carrier pigeons in a basket to the father was quite unique.
He was told to attach twenty half a carat diamonds to each of the pigeons legs (in diamond packets naturally) and set the birds free if he wanted his son back safe. I thought that was very clever because the stones were not too big to fence off and not too small to be too cheap.
The police chief had a brainwave and called in the airforce to have a plane follow the birds. The film then went on to something else so I didn’t get to find out the end result, but it begs the question, can a plane follow a bird? that seems a bit daft to me, what about the speed difference and clouds obscuring vision? Interesting little problem is it not.
Spitty’s good at problems, what would you do Spitty, remember this is in 1933 so there were no homing devices nor any hi tech stuff like that about.
I will not accept following the pigeons in a big balloon as an answer.
You know I don’t do Hi Tech, so Maize is the answer, this result is offered for Chicken Feed.:-)
Great answer Spitty, you never cease to a maize me.
As for the chicken, why did it cross the road, to get to the road island, it was a Rhode Island Red. Who says us townies don’t know our chickens.
I think you deserve a badge for that answer.
God be with the days when we got a little tin plastic coated badge when we were good or did something right or bought a packet of Bisto or even a comic, comics regularly gave out free badges. The 50’s was the golden age of badges for kids I had loads on them stuck on me monkey jacket.
Of course there were the adult badges, lawmen would flash their badges and a sheriff had one shaped like a star, not forgetting the season badges for the races.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=/u8WbLU958Lg
I’m up early today, 6am, an ungodly hour, I never knew there were two 6 o’clocks in the one day until now.
We’re off to Wexford for the wife’s brother’s golden wedding anniversary, they’re having a big do, see you on Monday, take care.
A Big Do, is that like a Duck Do?
I honestly couldn’t tell you Spitty, I’ve never seen duck do, I’ve seen plenty of chicken do, cow do, dog do, horse do too, but no duck do, maybe they do it in the water that’s why we never see it.;-)
What was that very old song now, I can only remember two lines of it.
“If all the young maidens were ducks in the water
All the young men would come jumping in after”
Ducks chickens and now doors, I really do love old solid doors. RJ used to have his special place to go to when he felt low, he called it “Greendor” If your there now RJ here’s a question for you.;-)
Which came first the door or the gate?
We are told there are pearly gates at heaven’s entrance, gates mind you not doors, when one gets pass the gates is one then led up to the door?
We know cavemen had no doors on their caves, so when were doors first mentioned in the ancient scripts?
When Adam and Eve were expelled from the garden of Eden, were they shown the door or the gate?
They have yet to find a more durable substitute for the door we know and love for thousands of years now. I cannot see these aluminium doors lasting a fraction as long as the old solid wooden doors you see in old castles and churches, absolute works of art in their own right.
I made a calculation and found that if you opened and shut your various doors 180 times a day, and if you were doing it since the day you were born until you died at 100 years of age, you would still be a long way off half a million times, 365,800 times to be exact. Hows that for useless information.
“In Kerala, India, this temple has an unopened door surrounded by sacred mystery. Legends say this door can only be opened by correctly chanting the Garuda Mantra. Without bolts or latches of any visible kind, the sealed doorway is protected by two stone cobras.
If the door is opened by means other than the right sound waves of the chant, catastrophe will be unleashed, of an apocalyptic nature, not only over India, but the whole world. Sounds like the perfect Indiana Jones or Lara Croft film plot”
https://i.postimg.cc/pVJC980H/Indian-Temple.jpg
“Close the door they’re coming through the windows” Quote from the original film “Night of the Living Dead”