Leaves are falling all around
It’s time I was on my way
Thanks to you I’m much obliged
For such a pleasant stay
;-)
Never tried “Wiser’s” whiskey, never even heard of it as a matter of fact, is it Scottish whisky?
I suppose one could say I’m none the Wiser. Oh God! cringe Jem.
The wife’s niece Hilda was with us today paying one of her “flying visits” as she calls them, that’s a laugh they always last at least four hours. 
She is 49 (so she insists) and still single, she’s not gay of anything like that, and she’s been out with quite a few fellas in her day, she’s not bad looking either and she’s a great cook, but boy can she talk, she never stops, she gives me a headache and there’s no escaping her in this cold and wet weather, I just have to sit there and suffer in silence.
She herself brought the subject of marriage up with the wife after we finished dinner this evening, and after her second glass of port she got into full swing.
She said she’s waiting for the right man to come along, the one’s she’d been with just hadn’t got the “sparkle” she needed so she knew they were not Mr. right, but some day he would come along and she’ll know straight away,
God preserve us all, such bullshite I had to listen to, then she smiled, crossed her arms across her chest and said in a determined voice “I’m saving myself”
I had to get a dig in somehow so I butted in and said “I’m saving myself too Hilda my dear, with the Post Office, and just like you, the interest keeps going down every year”
She was not amused and the wife gave me a look that would turn milk sour.
I was still thinking about niece Hilda last night in bed, and I hope she eventually finds the man she’s looking for and spends the rest of her life in a state of happiness, but somehow I doubt that she ever will, she’s far too fussy in her choices, she always was since she was a little girl. if she ever finds this saintly Adonis then God help him is all I can say, he’s doomed to a life of perfection, and no man can achieve that and be happy at the same time, maybe they’ll come up with a robot to suit her, who knows.;-)
I can remember when she was a kid, the wife and me were taking her out to the seaside one Summer Sunday, we were taking the little boy from next door with us, his mother was dead and his father was raising him while trying to keep a full time job going, we thought he’d like a rest on his day off.
Well if Hilda didn’t kick up a fuss about the young lad coming with us, she flatly refused to go and went back home to her mother, who luckily only lived around the corner. And all because the little boy had a mop of fiery red hair, she said she wouldn’t be seen dead with a boy with red hair!, and she being only about 6 or 7 at the time.
I’m afraid she hasn’t changed much in being selective since then, ah well where there’s life there’s hope and we must never give up hope, even for hopeless cases.
But don’t mind my “conscience outpourings” as RJ once so elegantly put it, and outpourings is all they are, sometimes even semi-conscience outpourings.
What a gentleman, I really do miss the old devil.
What was that old song? Ah yes, the old maid in the garret, this one is especially for the fussy ladies, I like this version, this lot have been around the block a few times but can still shake a leg and make great sounds.
I was bound to inherit some Irish red but got the deep auburn colour…and being a typical women always wanted to be blonde. Trying to dye though was a complete disaster as bright orange was always the end result…so I have cursed my red streak many a time over. 
Mark Twain once quipped that "While the rest of the human race are descended from monkeys, redheads derive from cats.”
Strange how most young men preferred blondes in my day, they probably still do today for all I know. The wife had auburn shoulder length hair back in the early 70’s and when the Sun shone on it it looked really red.
I was never attracted by the colour of a woman hair, except of course blondes, one can’t help but notice a blonde, they always catch the eye, but it’s purely a superficial thing, I think the personality is far more sustaining and interesting.
Did you know that there are women who would give their spleens for shiny hair?:shock:
I suppose one of the advantages of being a woman is you can have any colour hair you fancy, whereas the poor unfortunate men have to keep whatever colour God gave them, that is of course if they are lucky enough to have any hair left by the age of 50, an awful lot of fellas seem to be going bald prematurely these days, must be something in the water or the shampoos they use, nothing like a good hair scrubbing with a strong bar of red “Sunlight” soap as me mother used to use on us kids, that stuff could take paint off doors, your scalp would be black and blue from the scrubbing you got, but it paid off in the long run, it toughened up the hair and I still got a full head to it, grey and all that it is, “Better grey than gone away” as they say.;-)
And for your shirts, sheets, and pillow cases remember “Nothing beat’s Rinso for your big wash!”
Meanwhile lads, here’s an old Egyptian remedy for baldness.
“Make a mixture of fats from a hippopotamus, crocodile, tomcat, snake and ibex; porcupine hair boiled in water and applied to the scalp for four days; and the leg of a female greyhound sautéed in oil with the hoof of a donkey" Sep 25, 2012 Wiki"
I doubt even David Attenborough could collect all those incredients, if you do manage it you’ll have a beautiful head of strong hair, but you’ll be the foulest smelling man for miles around.
I went out to the back yard today to break up a pallet left behind from a delivery of concrete slabs last Summer, they are a bugger to take apart when they use those heavy duty stable guns on them, but the square blocks that hold the wooden planks together are great for burning on the fire with the coal, last for ages.
I had to come in after about 10 minutes as me hands were frozen stiff, even with gloves on! that was at 2.30 pm and the temperature was 2.04c, (6.7c in London I noticed, Dublin was the coldest spot in Europe today) God help us when the real Winter comes in in Jan/Feb.
Jem, one day you will have me pulling my hair out.
Where are the stalwarts?
Never mind blonde hair catching the eye…I tell you my orange hair did far more than catch the eye …it caused heart stopping palpitations, put more than a merry twinkle in a chaps thoughts…and once seen was never forgotten :-D:-D:-D
Stalwarts now there’s a fine word to be going on with…along with hearts of oak and longbows. Although not shooting arrows these days stalwarts will always be around… although you do wonder at times seeing these man bun thingies.
The 63 big freeze showed what stalwart meant, With snow higher than the telegraph poles it was the first time I saw a helicopter so close up as it dropped food to us. The country was being clobbered by weather but trains still ran thanks to cloth capped stalwarts. No wonder my generation smile knowingly these days. ,:-D:-D:-D
I would have loved to be that train driver ploughing through the snow, of course they were all Sunlight Soap babies, that’s why they’re so hardy.
I have trains in me blood, father and grandfather were train drivers with the Great Western, lovely bit of film that, thanks Solo.
I have no doubt you looked stunning in your orange hair Solo, a real head turner.;-)
Orange hair would go down well on the 12th of July up North, you’d be the belle of the ball.
“Stalwart” a real Spitty special, had to look it up cos I never heard it before till now, they never told us about that word in our school.
I thought at first glance it meant a wart that was out of date, like a stale-wart but it seems it’s something completely different.
I had an awkward wart when I was an apprentice, (by the way, an ‘awkwart’ is a troublesome wart) it was a triple wart, three mini warts in a line on my right index finger, they were right on the inside touching off the next finger and very irritating when I was holding the hand file in my hand, and most embarrassing when holding the girlfriends hand while out for a walk. 
The fella I was apprenticed to at the time was a Turkish chap and he told me to dip a glass eyedropper into nitric acid, (the stuff they test the carat of gold with) gently shake it then dab it on the warts, I did and they turned brown, as does 9ct. gold, I had been doing a lot of 9ct. work that week and the filings must had got through the skin and into the warts (stings a little bit at first but not for long), when I woke the next morning they had disappeared! and that’s Gods truth.
I remember thinking at the time that if I could figure out a way of making the nitric acid into a controlled stable paste I’d make a fortune selling it as an instant wart cure.
Another great tip he gave me was when you get a burn on your fingers or hands, rub the burnt part vigorously in your hair touching the scalp for twenty seconds and it will not blister, it works great, providing one has hair that is, if not I suppose one could always try rubbing ones finger in the dogs hair, it might just work, but mind he doesn’t bite you if you rub him the wrong way.
Talking of tips, the Ayr November race meeting is on tomorrow and a fella in the bookies came over to me as I was filling in my selections for the day.
“Hey Jem, do ya want a tip for Ayr tomorrow?”
“Indeed I do Tom”
“Well keep the windows open all night”
Smart arse.
I had a Smart Arse, a perianal cyst, 1980 ish, dealt with it by taking mega hot baths, hence, my smart arse comments are never made lightly.
Got old today, I know all the inns and outs, life needs to take control again.
[SIZE=“1”]I won’t tell a soul[/SIZE]…;-)
Ye gawds Jem it’s a wonder your finger didn’t do a runner after using Nitric acid…it’s not called ‘strong water’ for nothing. Still it beats wearing a frog round your neck to get rid of warts. Who thinks these things up !!
Anyway what do they say “don’t knock it till you’ve tried it”. Before they doctored the ingredients we always carried a large bottle of Collis Browns Compound as no matter what country you were living in Collis Browns was the panacea for all ills. Little did we know nor would we have cared to know that a couple of the ingredients…morphine and opium (now banned) had a lot to do with how we felt. 
What you don’t know can’t harm you was never more truer than in that little brown bottle.
What happened to Doctor Dave, did he burn the Candle at both ends?
Now you would think if a Drinks company offers to bung you a few free bottles for using your name you would jump at the chance but not our 102 year old Dame Vera Lynn…her of the White Cliffs of Dover fame. .:surprised:
An International company want’s to use her name as it rhymes with Gin to flog their new drink but as a non gin drinker she is a tad miffed has said “nay”…no doubt being of that certain age that remembers the stigma attached to gin drinking…so our Vera is going to fight them on the beaches etc, etc, ect. .
I love the fact although she did once enjoy a glass of the red she apparently only drinks the odd glass of Sanatogen now. Makes you wonder why the said company don’t go for something like a snassed up version of Sanatogen that would perk up us non gin drinking oldies up without upsetting us in the bargain :-D:-D:-D
We had a bereavement in the family, Phyllis’s eldest sister passed away peacefully in her sleep last Wednesday, she had had a great innings (92) and we were all very fond of her, it’s sad that she’ll be with us no more, she was good craic and never complained right up to the end, bless her soul, farewell old girl, I’ll miss you.
We gave her a great sendoff, just the way she wanted it.
Vera Lynn, Isn’t she marvellous, good for you Vera, why tarnish your good name by associating it with Gin, or “Whores Comfort” as Dean Swift called it back in the 1700’s, of course it was a cheap drink then, but Swift was a nasty sarcastic man anyway, always slagging off the working classes.
He seemed to know all about money too, he was nearly as good as my missus. ;-)
I wondered why he said “Dime” in this quote and not shilling or sixpence, something is wrong here, Swift died in 1745, the American War of independence began in 1775, up to that the currency in America was LSD was it not? I might be mistaken, but I can’t imagine Swift saying nickels and dimes.
“There were many times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails” Jonathan Swift
Well Jonathan we were so poor that we hadn’t even got pants, I could sit on a farthing and tell you if the head or tail had hair on it or not.
I tried Gin a few times in my younger days and I wouldn’t be gone on it, I found myself thinking of all things sad while under it’s influence and very depressing, not my kind of tipple I’m afraid, I mean if you want that kind of thing just listen to a party political broadcast or look up the brexit threads, then you can get depressed for free, why pay for a depression session.
“In all the Gin Joint’s in all the World…”
https://i.postimg.cc/8Cs6zScB/The-dance-of-death-the-dram-shop-Coloured-aquatint-by-T-R-Well.jpg
I hit “Rock Bottom” when my arse hung out of someone else’s trousers, I jest not.
Knowing a loved one has had a good life and was loved is always a comfort when their time comes to leave us with our thoughts…and I’m sure she was with you, Phyllis and family at that send off in spirit enjoying the craic.
This tarnishing things gets a bit much at times. Seems to be “well it’s a bit old” so it doesn’t matter if we fiddle with it. I’m a bit old and like Dame Vera I don’t want to be fiddled with or see things I have enjoyed in the past fiddled with either. 
Take the latest Tescos Clubcard ad. They have only used a clip from Casablanca of all films to promote their crap…shame on them and their witless ad team. I didn’t need a glass of Mothers Ruin to start weeping over the slaughtering of a great film moment between Humph and Ingrid
Of all the films in all the world they had to choose that one. 
Original