Well done, Spitty, a lot of hard work there!
Time for the tree then!
Interesting collection of bodies in that Dollar Shave Club video Solo, some brave lads there, very dangerous using a razor on the under carriage without a rear view mirror, I’d never risk it, but then I don’t have to, I haven’t got a hairy body thank God.
I have never liked telephones, ever since I was a kid and that first time had to go down to the phone box at the end of the street to ring an ambulance when my Dad took bad, (he had TB for years) the receiver was pulled from the cradle and lay on the filthy floor of the phone box. I came outside and sat on the kerb crying not knowing what to do, my mother was also sick in bed with rheumatic fever, then an old woman took my hand and raised me up from the path, I told her my trouble and she took me to her house on the next street where she had a phone and she called the ambulance, I’ll never forget that kind lady as long as I live.
I know it’s perfectly natural for most folks but I was never able to hold a natural conversation over a phone, I get frustrated and nervous and can never settle into a conversation.
When the phone rings in our house I let it ring because it’s never for me anyway, always the wife’s family and they’d keep you talking hogwash all day long, impossible to get off the phone. all the business contacts I have know my work email so no need for a phone for that.
Oh how I hate the Phone, it never leaves you alone
When you sit on the Jacks, the phone always attacks
Making one rise from the throne
We’re all slaves to the old hambone. ;-)
It’s those small acts of kindness shown by your lady that stay with us over the years. 
Never minded phones when younger as they were only used in emergencies so they were comforting to have around but once they became part of my working life I grew to loath the control they had. Being on standby meant if you wanted an honest life you answered the darn thing even if it meant wrecked plans. Ignoring it on any pretence meant your day was ruined anyway from guilt. 
This has nothing to do with age but I now blatantly ignore any call that I am not expecting and mobiles hold even less interest for me as having had phones control my life for so long time I am now watching just how that phone control usage is being misused in a way we could never have dreamed of…plus not being nosy is an advantage.:shock:
There are a lot of Noggins in that photo.
I think evolution has happened in one relative lifetime, I for one can remember being a Lounge “Lizard”.
Terry Thomas was the ultimate Lounge Lizard or rather lecherous wretch.
Lounge Lizard indeed, long time since I heard that expression Spitty, back then every lounge had a lizard and many’s the innocent lassie found to their cost that some of the Lizards turned out to be Rats. ;-)
I always liked Terry Thomas, he could play the sleeveen to perfection.
Well I heard a good one today, of all the odd things to lend a person.
One of the wife’s many sisters is going to a wedding on Monday, she’s a bit Mutt and Jeff and is waiting to see her doctor about getting a hearing aid, well the wife already has a hearing aid so she offered her sister a loan of hers for the day so she won’t be embarrassed when she can’t hear what the other guests are talking about, besides (according to herself) it will help her sister get used to them in her ears, the wife has a spare aid by the way, no doubt to ensure she doesn’t miss out on any gossip when she’s at the shops.
I think that’s funny and I laughed when she told me, she asked what was funny about that and I said nothing was funny, in fact it is a very noble gesture my dear, I’m only laughing because it’s a wonder you didn’t charge her for use of same.
Although on reflection it’s not so odd, I once saw Clark Gable say to his leading lady when she started to cry “Here my dear take my handkerchief” Snots and snails and puppy dogs tails spring to mind, male hankies ugh!
Who remembers the days before tissues? we all had a handkerchief to carry around and I can still hear my dear old Mother call out to me as a boy “Jimmy have you got your hankie with you?” as I left for school.
Here’s a charming little photograph I came across, three very young musicians and a politician.:-)
They look so infantile from the neck down but, so aged from the neck up, that look can extend into later life.
I can’t use tissues as allergic to the dust from the fibres and trying to buy hankies these days is the devils own job
We had an English teacher…huge women commonly known as buxom who on entering our class room …No that’s wrong… she sailed into our class room…and always demanded we “take out our handkerchiefs and use them” in a loud booming voice. :shock:
At this time in our young lives if you owned one of those it was pinned to your jumper so you did not lose it but it was more than likely you used your sleeve’ To be honest ‘snotrags’ were laughed at as being poncey.
We were all scared witless of her so we made every effort possible to obey and let me tell you you that there is nothing more impressive than a class room full of kids loudly blowing their noses… into the palms of their hands. Don’t ask what we did with any contents …just use your imagination 
Ah yes, the old shiny ganzey sleeve.
I’m always amazed that ads on TV about condoms, winning an orgasm, men’s erection problems, and women boasting about leaky bladders don’t warrant a “Tut tut tut”, it’s all part of life, nothing to be ashamed of, but if someone mentions a snot all the noses go up in the air, “How utterly disgusting!” :shock:
When fluid comes out of one’s eyes it gains sympathy and pity, everyone feels sad to see someone else cry, yet an inch or two below and on the same face lies the nose and if any form of liquid or matter comes out for whatever reason it’s frowned upon straight away, and one dare not mention the humble pitiless snot.
There’s nothing as irritating as a stubborn hard piece of snot lodged in ones nasal passage, and if one is in company one may not dare try to remove the offending little bugger, it can ruin your whole night out, an come on now be honest, it has happened to us all.
Strange that, because if you had something in your eye everyone present would dash to your assistance to help you remove it, we are a funny lot us humans.
Now here’s a fella who had a big conker and was proud of it too, someone once referred to his nose as “The biggest snot factory in Hollywood”
Chronic Catarrh can take your breath away.
And there were those that would inspect a bogie or earwax and insist on showing you…or even worse flicked it at you.
Lord we are descending into the depths of human depravity here :-D:-D:-D:-D
Moving swiftly on…Strictly come dancing is due to air shortly so once again there will be gasps of amazement at the ever increasing daring deeds performed by the dancing duos.
They would still have a long way to go though to match some of the old time screen dancers and can you imagine the newspapers write ups if they were to perform La Danse Apache…but there again can you just picture the live audiences faces watching this brilliant performance. It would be priceless to watch 
I always love watching the Apache dances, great stuff, such energy. I keep thinking I’ll see Geronimo jumping about but I haven’t seen a single Indian yet. That was a neat trick striking the match off the girls foot.
Why is it called an Apache dance?
“Origin. In fin de siècle Paris young members of street gangs were labelled Apaches by the press because of the ferocity of their savagery towards one another, a name taken from the native North American indigenous people, the Apache” Wiki.
What a coincidence seeing Charlie Chan in that clip, I am watching the old Charlie Chan films again on Youtube, Sidney Toler and Warner Oland played the part with equal brilliance IMO.
That’s one of the good things about being old, you keep forgetting who done it and can watch them over and over again.
I see you’re off on your travels Spitty, enjoy yourselves, you deserve it after all the hard work you put into that lovely office of yours.
Is there any room in the current world for simple Simon and the Pieman, and, is there a Fair anymore?
Enjoy your travels and stay safe spitty.
There would always be room in my world for a Pieman…simple or not.
There used to be cooked Ham, Roast Pork and meat and potato pie shops that we would hang around on market days when they did a roaring trade.
The chap slicing the meats didn’t have time to wipe the knife clean ( not that that mattered much in those days) so he would knock the scraps off the knife into our waiting hands with his sharpener. Pork or ham…we didn’t care as it tasted so good… and that mix was better than any of those perfect slices, neatly wrapped and given to housewives… but the best was those meat and potato pies. Short crust pastry that melted in your mouth and lots of filling. Non of this half full rip off nonsense that you get today along with all the excuses…
What capped it all was if you were very lucky you could be given bits of pork scratchings and then your day was really complete.
Then it was off to the chippy to see if we could cadge some batter scratchings. Life was good :-D:-D
https://ls.imgix.net/Recipes/Members/11025.JPG?w=200&h=200&auto=compress,format
God bless your memory Solo, there was eating and drinking on that post, ah happy memories.
“Is there any room in the current world for simple Simon and the Pieman, and, is there a Fair anymore?”
Interesting questions Spitty.
It pays big to act simple nowadays, the Simple Simons of this World go on to greater things, especially in politics, where they can reach the peak of the political pyramid as we have seen in recent years.
As for the pieman all he ever wanted was his own bakery and all the dough he could knead.
Yes there are still fairs about, but the World is in a state of chaos and nothing seems fair anymore.
We all have to do what Simple Simon says, especially when it comes to tax on pies.
Simple Simon met a Melton Mowbray Pieman going to the fair
Said Simple Simon to the pieman “Sent them to the USA, they love them over there”
“Tis sad to say, but the tax is far too high old mate, maybe in November when we’ve reached our sell by date.;-)
You got that right about keeping things simple…worked for us didn’t it. Now everything they say is simple or made easier strikes fear in yer heart…cos you know it will be anything but simple.
Take faggots. You couldn’t get a more simple nourishing meal than that. A couple would fill a grown man and see him set him up for a good days work. Now the thought of serving up a faggot is sneered at for more than one reason. (Mind you I can’t think how faggots got caught up with anything sexual though. Odd how things get twisted isn’t it) Probably done that way by McieDs to stop us from eating them and instead buying their healthy double whoppers or whatevers instead :shock:
I was trying to think of what has stayed simple and do you know I simply can’t think of anything. Even our wooden laundry pegs have gone plastic and twang into pieces at the slightest suggestions of a sheet and a stiff breeze.
Life would be simple, if only we could get the answer to the most basic of questions, which came first???
The Faggot or the Mushy Pea.
Faggots win hands down and the eating kind even managed to get a mention in print no less in 1851 when someone realized how good they were especially with onion gravy so decided to spread the news on just how good old tasty common food was.
And evvvverrrrryyyy body knows mushy peas grow on mushy pea bushes which are closely guarded by every true Lancastrian who would never divulge the origins. :-D:-D:-D