My niece Rose was here today, she’s 19 now and very concerned about her appearance, she’s very down to earth and we get on well, she’s not afraid to ask me questions and she knows she’ll get the truth whether it pleases her or not. She had her brown hair dyed blonde in the salon and she asked me what I thought of it, I said it looked great and it suited her, she should keep it that colour. I told her the truth and if I thought it didn’t suit her I would have said so, yes she did look more attractive blonde.
Then the wife comes in from the shops and says “Oh my God Rose! what did you do to your lovely brown hair?”
I snuck out to the shed.
Some people, especially women, can be very self conscience about their faces, the least little thing that somehow doesn’t look right has to change if it can be changed, they all want to look perfect, of course perfect means different things to different people. Some girls think big dreamy eyes are the thing for them, but if only they could see those big eyes fifty years on they would think again, big dreamy eyes don’t suit old folks at all, you’ll look like Marty Feldman or his sister and you’ll be inclined to frighten little children, your grand children will hate you.
Then you have the big lips thing, I never found big lips attractive in women, but I’m in the minority most men do.
The most obvious feature of anyones face is of course the nose “As plain as the nose on your face” as they say, and everyone wants to have a plain nose, there is not much scope for variation in the nose department is there, I mean if you are lucky enough to have a plain nose there will be no nasty comments passed, but be it large, dented, turned sideways a few millimetres, slightly upturned, pointed or flat, then the nose will be the first thing to be noticed on ones face, no ones fault it’s just human nature, I remember as a teenager I got a pimple smack in the centre of me nose, all the gang had a great laugh for days calling me “Jimmy the Rhino”, and that was just a pimple, God help me if it had been a boil, kids can be so cruel as you well know.
Ears come a close second, I had an Uncle Hugh and all his life we knew him as Uncle Big ears, he seemed to like being called that, yes he had very big ears and made no attempt to hide them under a hat either, he was as proud of his big ears just as much as Jimmy Durante was of his big nose, good luck to him, he was a very jolly man.
Did you know Clarke Gable had to have his ears cello taped back when doing the close up shots in his romantic films? that’s a fact.
It’s an instrument only audible to folks with big ears Spitty, never heard it myself, thank God.
I typed in cellotaped and the speller thing changed it to cello taped, I didn’t bother to change it.
What is a cow orker?, “ I handed in my notice along with my cow orkers” I read that in a news item, it must have been a misspelling cos I looked up “Orker” and there was nothing, I’m a confirmed townie but I already knew what a cow was, then I thought it might have something to do with whales, a cow orca could be the chap who looks after the female whales, then I saw the light, the two words should be joined up like so — coworker, silly me, maybe I’m becoming dyslexic is that what they call it when you see a word you know but it looks unfamiliar for some reason.:shock:
Always thought it was Cock-a-leekie so I don’t know who wrote the Titanic menus but that menu spelling of cockie leekie just to please those 1st Class passengers could have put the mockers on that ill fated liner .:shock:
Among the items that were salvaged from the Titanic’s doomed maiden voyage is a lunch menu from the ship’s last day before it struck an iceberg and sank in 1912. The menu, was saved by a rescued passenger.
The 100 year old artifact sheds light on the typical dishes of the early years of the last century, just your usual jacket potatoes, corned beef, and … cockie leekie?
The menu describes dishes served in the ship’s first class dining room and is dated April 14, 1912, the day before the ship’s tragic sinking early the following morning. Of the 2,200 passengers on board, some 1,500 perished in the icy North Atlantic sea. .
Sellotape cellotape, what’s the difference, I could argue that it came from the word cellophane, the see through plastic stuff, just add glue and there it is, didn’t come from sellophane did it? that’s just the trade name, so technically I would be right, but who cares as long as it kept his ears out of the girls mouth when he was kissing her.
I just hope they haven’t any plans to make another Titanic film Solo, I’m surprised so many people go to see a picture knowing the end before they even take their seats.
Who knows, the way history is twisted to suit those in power, in another couple of hundred years time it will be changed to a happy ending fairytale, nobody perished and they all lived happily ever after. “All tragic news and events will be wiped from the history books, there shall be only rejoicing and happiness when the meek inherit the earth” So de holy bible say.;-)
Well I’ll be off now to commence my own type of rejoicing.
Doesn’t matter what the blasted stuff’s called Jem whether it’s Sellotape, Cellotape, Adhesive Tape, Duct Tape, Electrical Tape or Masking Tape as the darned stuff will fight you every step of the way showing no mercy whatsoever. This stuff makes the simplest job turn into a Combat a Mort. Trying to find the beginning of the tape just to get started should be a clear hint of the frustrated misery that is to follow.
It’s tape vs human simple as that and the minute you even think about using any of the stuff it’s a case of “do I really need to put myself through this mind boggling ordeal…or will it wait until another day”
No guessing which one I choose cos now I know that that cute Sellotape Snail ad getting us to buy the orrid stuff was nothing more than a crafty sales gimmick.
Anyone ever hear this before? if you did you would be over 70 now. My mother always had the radio on during the daytime and I remember this being played regularly when I was a child, never did find out what was in the box though but it must have been worse than T. May’s deal cos nobody wants to touch it.
It is very catchy Mags, an old lad sang it in the pub last night and I couldn’t get it out of me head. I couldn’t remember the name of it, but I eventually found it.
I knew a girl called Barb Dwyer, she was also very clingy and catchy.
“As for the THING…it was probably a roll of sellotape”
Could have been radioactive too, especially if it came from Cellafield.
One thing always amazes me, it’s the ability of some women to be able to repeat the same story over and over again, is it any wonder they make better witnesses than men, I hate having to say anything twice, it’s an effort for me but some women seem to enjoy it.
Take this morning for instance.
A young chap is decorating the front bedroom upstairs. When he arrived here to work at 10.30 he explained that a new shopping centre was opening near where we live, special offers all over the place, it’s surprising how far folks will travel just to see some has been singer and get 10p off a box of cornflakes or a free plastic keyring, anyway the traffic was terrible and that was the reason why he was not here at 9.am. as promised, fair enough.
We knew about the big opening ceremony but forgot about it, we were expecting my daughter and two of the wife sisters over so the wife went on to phone one of her sisters who would have to travel across the city to be here, she explained about the traffic as the lad had said, word for word, that made it the second time I heard it, she then went on to phone the other sister, again word for word. soon after she put the phone down the daughter arrives, she already knows about the traffic, she has just come through it, but the wife still has to tell her anyway, that’s four times I’ve heard the exact boring story and I’m getting pissed off hearing it.
Finally they are all here, they sit at the table drinking tea and coffee and what do you think the wife opens the conversation with…the bloody traffic again! I felt like screaming out “WE KNOW, WE KNOW!” but I knew I would suffer when she got me on my own again. God above, if ever a man suffered, spare me a little mercy.
Why do us humans always have the urge to pass on news, bad news especially? probably a bit of DNA that hung on from the time we screeched at each other from the treetops.
Then you had the tom toms in the jungle and the smoke signals in the wild west, and now God help us we have the internet where you can tell millions your news without opening your mouth.
There was a character in our old local years ago called Rasher Ryan, nobody knew his real first name, he was a printer and he used to produce a weekly newsletter and hand them out free to the locals, he was always the first with the local news and knew all about who was sick, who got a new job, who was sacked, who had a new baby, stuff like that, but he was never offensive to anyone and always asked their permission before he printed anything about them, we all loved his newsletter. he also compiled his own crossword with clues associated with other drinkers in the bar, but his speciality was keeping us up to date with who died in the area, he called the paper “Mick’s Bar Gossip ” or “Guess Who’s Dead” I still have a few old copies up in the attic somewhere, I was proud to be mentioned in one or two of them, he always referred to me as “Goldfinger”
Alas no such characters around today.
Repeating oneself is more or less expected in old age, I prefer it to grumpiness any day, a grumpy person effects everyones mood, barring of course they are ill and possibly in constant pain.
I still maintain that a grumpy child will go on to be an even grumpier adult and a totally unbearable old person, living in the same area all ones life as I have you get to see this play out, some of the kids I went to school with are still knocking around, I have a drink with some of them, and the jolly types are a bit slow now but still jolly and keeping the good side out, the rest have honed their moaning skills to perfection and never stop showing them off.
Thing with the internet is some just like to leisurely pass the time of day, some just want to spread tittle tattle whilst others like doom and gloom etc. Some can pretend to be summat their not and we are seeing more aging Lolitas and Lotharios coming out of their closets on th’internet these days chucking their love around willy nilly … still I suppose it beats doing the dishes and cooking supper. A good idea for TV show maybe… Desperate Internet Housewives.
Funny how a few written lines can trigger something you read or heard either yesterday or from many years ago.
Unlike today back in 44 there was nothing very fast to share our news Your chap Rasher set me to thinking on a newspaper I was told about in a POW camp. POW WOW was an underground newspaper, run by prisoners of war in the Stalag Luft I camp in Nazi Germany. Its name stood for Prisoners Of War and its motto was “The only truthful newspaper in Germany to be read silently, quickly, and in groups of three.
It gave prisoners information on what was happening outside of the camp, and how close the war may be to being over. At the height of its circulation, it had over 9,000 readers and was translated into French and Russian as well as English.
Despite the obvious risks involved in getting this paper out, it was testiment to mens bravery and ingenuity against all odds.
In below link you can click on the little newspapers to read them
I’m obliged to you for that link Solo, very interesting, fascinating the idea’s people come up with under pressure and the ingenious ways of concealing things, great read.
I’ll be missing here for a week or so, we’re off to Wexford tomorrow, we promised the wife’s brother we’d be there for his 70th birthday, I really hope the weather improves for the week ahead.
That reminds me, we haven’t heard from RJ this past while, maybe he’s on holidays, I hope you’re OK young fella.
See you all soon, be good now.;-)
It’s an instrument only audible to folks with big ears Spitty, never heard it myself, thank God.
