I think RJ is on holiday, enjoy yourself young man.
Looks like we’re all doomed, even when the internet goes off the two teenage grandkids think it’s the end of the World, what’ll it be like when the whole shebang collapses, we haven’t a clue what this newly recognised ‘Dark Matter’ is capable of, you can’t see it, touch it, smell it, it’s all powerful, and it’s all around us everywhere, all they have at present is the name for it, back in the old days we used to call it ‘God’, remember?
Lord take me back to the days when men were men, yee haa!
That reminds me of an old school yard rhyme.
In days of old when men were bold
And toilets weren’t invented
They dropped their load
In the middle of the road
And walked away contented.
Roads,Jem? ROADS? I could only DREEEEEAM of roads!
Eeh,times have changed-when I were a lad,it were all fields round here. Y’could take a dump in whatever rags y’were wearin’ and smell no worse f’r it. Aye,t’were t’nobs as used t’ave coal fires-us scum usta gather round a lump of flaming horseshit and roast a stolen tater,which we shared out t’ween us,then all 26 of us would sleep in a hole in the canal bank as frost crispened our hat [we had just the one,so we shared it] and get up two hours before we fell asleep t’dig out t’canal,then walk 22 miles t’mill carrying my little sister,who’d put in a 14 hour shift,while I ran the other ten miles t’pit,where I’d pull carts of coal on me ‘ands ‘n’ knees,when they were too heavy f’ponies,then run back t’collect me sis,carry her the 22 miles back t’canal bank we called home,where we’d all huddle t’gether as we frooze t’death every night. But-y’tell the kids today that,an’ DO THEY BELIEVE YER? PANSIES,the lot 'of 'em!
[by 'ecky thump!]
what abute shoes mon - ya dinna mention shoes? them were the days when the shoes wore thin, if ya had a pair and a hole appeared. first line of defense was the newspaper, nay not ours someone elses; couple of sheets carefully cut ta size and bunged in the shoe. then finally when the hole got too big off to the cobbler fer an new sole - oh bless my soul! when the heels wore deen ya just had ta walk funny!
Bai ‘eck,you ‘ad it easy. SHOES?
There were 48 of us,all clam’rin’ fer’t fust unwanted stalks o’wheat,direct after ‘arvest. I remembrit well,maw’d sittuns in a circle on’t floor of t’farmer’s barn durin’ worr monthy haff-hour off,an’ teach uns howta weave shoes outa they corn stalks. Cobblers? Soles? Eeeh,lad-t’were only t’rich’uns as ‘ad newspepper in’t shoes…why,nowt us’d dee wi’t bitta newspepper’d please thee-specially after w’d done wi’ it. Nay,lad-us’d strap they racks o’corn around wor feet ‘n’ think w’sens real lah-de-dah.
I can recall wor Betty bein’ telt she was gettin’ above hersen’,because she had a sock-an’ theer were only a few 'oles in it,too! Bai,they wuh good dares…
Why has it all got vocal Yokel
is it Frumpin the Bumpkin
I got shoes, you got shoes
So what, you got the blues
So many Trainers
Adorn the Vainers
Check your footware
Have a Rummage
Don’t become a Worzel Gummidge.
Aye!
And don’t forget our belts made of baling twine
That we proudly showed off,both yor’n and mine.
We had our ‘special knot’ that held up our breeks
And tight round our ankles,saving what the rat seeks…
Aye but in summer months
When hay were dry
The sparks would fly from hay to sky
And the straw clad men would burn to the core
With their baling wire laid on the floor
Ok-look,I’ll mention no names
But SOMEBODY here wants me up in flames!
I can but surmise that for him,life is tough
As HE’S still a virgin,whereas I am hot stuff…
What a gay life has the pauper and peasant
Walking barefoot in grass is ever so pleasant
The Sun warm on your ragged old back
And all you’ve got is tied up in a sack
Not a care nor worry on your mind
All your bills and debts left behind
Free at last to have your own say
Happy as Larry as you go on your way
In winter when you come out of detox
Find yourself a comfortable cardboard box
Pick a nice posh part of town
Wrap up in paper and have a good lie down
Sleep all you want cos you don’t have a shift
Breakfast on red biddy, t’will give you a lift
Then off you go with your cap in hand
Collecting quids to beat the band.
My Dad once told me about about his Uncle Davy’s search for the Golden Goblet of Glendalough, said to be the greatest cure alls of all time, fill it with Glendalough holy water, drink from it and whatever ails you will ail you no more, so it is written. This was back in 1888 bear in mind, and they had heard rumours the Goblet was buried somewhere in the vicinity of Milligan’s Rock, centuries before the monks of Glendalough had to stash it away before Cromwell got his greedy hands on it, anyway Uncle Davy and his three trusted companions got as far as “The Gay Dog” tavern in the Wicklow Mountains and decided to settle the night there before setting off bright and early next morning for Milligan’s Rock. Much to the innkeepers delight vast quantities of ale were consumed before Davy and his mates retired to the rooms upstairs, there was some talk of local wenches but as I was still a young boy my Dad didn’t go into details, but it seems one of the wenches stole a purse of sovereigns from under Davy’s pillow, she was sneaking out of the room with the loot concealed in her bosom area when one of Davy’s mates, who had slipped out for a slash, caught her. The law was called because the girl would not own up to the theft, had she admitted it Davy would have let her go free such a good natured chap was he. When the officers arrived they roughly searched the girl and out fell the sovereigns so she was duly taken away in the cart. As you all know in these rural places word spreads very fast and when Davy and his mates resumed their quest next day they found a gang of twenty stout men armed with strong hawthorn sticks waiting for them at Milligan’s Rock, they took a heavy battering that day, Davy was singled out and had his head badly whacked and several ribs broken by three of the girls brothers, were it not for divine intervention in the shape of a passing monk he was a goner, needless to say the search for the Golden Goblet was abandoned.
Davy later went off to the USA to “Seek his fortune” as they used to say, seeking one’s fortune always meant only one thing to me, get rich quick anyway you can and quickly forget you were once a peasant yourself, seems I was right, that’s what they all did.
house full of excitement today after a thursday supper of bourbon. the lads eldest daughter flies in from perth today for a holiday so I will catch up with her for a few days before heading home myself. this house never rests, there is a steady stream of flotsom and blotsom buzzing in and out - only quiet time is school times 8-2.30pm and then it starts again!
I love the smell of the house when I stretch my legs in the morning - asian throughout - only if you have lived or holidayed there can you understand that very faint wiff of something abstract but recognizable - oeer I feel a poem coming on!
That’s like me own house Gumbud, always plenty of activity and you never know who’s going to walk in next, the wife revels in it all, keeps her young.
I’m sorry to say most things Asian are alien to me Gumbud, much to my shame I never bothered to learn anything about Asia, could be because we never had many Asian folk in Dublin when I was a young man, I started off my apprenticeship working for a chap from Trinidad, he was one decent fella God be good to him, there were very few coloured people ( the PC name for dark skinned folks back then) in Ireland in the 1960’s, a few students attending the college of surgeons was about all I ever came across in the pubs, today we have folks from the four corners of the World in the country.
Why do they say the four corners of the World when the World is round, and I thought I was an eejit.
Sorry Jembo, got to dispute that one, your World may well be round, but it does not follow that everyone else’s is, see, it is a common misperception that, Planet Earth, and a World are one and the same, they are separate distinct entities, now trying to find the four corners of the Earth, is a different matter.
and if there is a far east and middle east why isn’t there a north east and south east?
well the eldest grand daughter arrived with the fan fare of trumpets. I showed her around the town and we spent up at the shops. home to preparing for dinner. all kids arrived home in dribs and drabs from school and then the magical thing happened!
"I had not wanted uninvited guests to arrived untimed and un-annouced - it was my silent wish - and bijove they didn’t "
the family had the entire evening to itself which was amazing and unexpected but it happened. a universal wish - a universal power - who knows but it happened. and we were able to reconnected and just enjoy each others company without any intruders!!
all the adults grew weary and tired and retired to bed but the youngsters stayed up watching Anastasia the cartoon film. it was almost a Xmas wish for me!
[CENTER]97, 98, 99, 100.
COMING!
Ready or not!
OH dear, they’ve all gone home. Obuga…
No stamina…[/CENTER].
Well it’s their loss cosa I was going to recite my new adapted EPIC poem based on the life of the award winning Bulgarian folk singer nadja karyova, singing " The lambkin has commenced to bleat" & "Stoyan winnows away the wheat.
Welcome back RJ. We used to add to that “Ready or not, keep your places or you’ll be caught”
I came across a book in our Library some time ago, it was entitled “Memoirs of an old Amnesian” I thought it was a joke until I discovered the author was half American and half Polynesian.
I would never discount anyone’s theories about Earth and space Spitty, what were once only theories have since become fact, even Columbus’s insane idea that the World was round, that bloke was dead lucky he wasn’t burnt at the stake for that theory, they didn’t tolerate bullshitters back in those days I can tell you, anyone who rocked their comfortable boat was sure to have their block knocked off. The divine belief and counter argument was that if the World was round we would all fall off it, Newton wasn’t around yet to explain that one to them, but if he had they probably would have roasted him too and banned apples, it’s a miracle anyone with a theory alien the established “Facts” got their ideas to the drawing board stage.
It hasn’t really changed much in my opinion, suppose you came up with an idea for turning sea water into engine fuel? Every country in the World would want to know what it was, and if they couldn’t get it out of you you’d be bumped off to make sure no other country got it either, best to keep it to meself I thought. “Do you want me to fill her up again Phyllis?” God 2 cents a gallon, where would you get it, only problem is that the salt is corroding the steel tanks in the back yard and the neighbours are getting very suspicious.
Yes, a few snaps would be nice Gumbud.
I went to see the doctor yesterday, it must be three years since I last went, I feel great, it was just to let them know I’m still alive, the Brazilian lady doctor is on holiday and old scalpel arse was dragged back from retirement as a standin, (the wife says his backside is like two eggs in a hankie, he has no arse to speak of, it’s slowly disappearing, hope my arse is not the first part of me to go, one needs a good strong bum when one gets older) He asked me what was wrong with me, I always smile to meself when they ask you that, how does a vet know whats wrong with a dog, the dog can’t tell him, on that basis the vet must be a better physician. Anyway I said I think I have catarrh and thrombosis, and there’s a beating in my ear drums, he said thats great if all treatments fail you have the makings of a musical trio there, bleedin’ great isn’t it, jokes and all for free on the national health. Anyway he said I was sound for another few hours at least, cheeky bugger, then he took some blood and said he’ll let me know the results next week, bless his dear old heart, he’s the last of the old fashioned family doctors around here, a kind old soul who drops into the local every now and again, likes a drop of whiskey with a dash of peppermint in it.
