Sadly, some folks get removal
Whilst not even seeking approval
Must have misunderstood the Doodle
Or, blown too hard on the Bugle.
yes, due on nov 5th
Poor Adele has dyspepsia
caught from someone who sat next to her
What should she do?
When on stage, needs a poo.
This diatribe started off inspirationally then deteriorated mainly because nothing much rhymes with dyspepsia, my word for the month.
Great aunt Maude had lifelong dyspepsia
All of her life it did groan
She would burp right on cue
And the wind it just flew
And her bowels would continually moan
But uncle Roger who sat right beside her
Would gentle caress her rear end
He would whisper in ear, there, there my sweet dear
Just let it all out either end!
Poor Adele,on stage she needs to fart
Whilst bellowing lyrics from the heart;
You’re mic’ed-up gal,just let it rip
…just PLEASE,don’t let a ‘bubbler’ slip!
I had an Aunt called Francis
Whom, I assumed was my Granny
She said Spitty, It’s not Folklore
A Fart can come from Fanny.
Looks like we’re heading for the Jacks again lads, I hope there’s plenty of soft fresh rolls out there.
I’m back on the dreams again. I know it’s boring to have to listen to other folks dreams, the wife is a devil for telling me her dreams and asking me what I make of them, it’s like having to comment on peoples holiday photo’s without actually seeing them, double the boredom, so I’ll skip the details of mine, I’ll just say that last night I had a wonderful happy dream with lots of old friends who have departed to wherever we go after the big sleep, and when I woke up I felt refreshed and relaxed. I then thought how lucky we are that we can dream, far better than putting your head on the pillow and being dead in all but name for eight hours. It’s been years now since I had what we call a nightmare, and that was after drinking some dodgy poteen, so what does that tell me? Well I’m trying to figure it out for meself, I’m a curious old devil. One theory is that for the past couple of years I have been contented and don’t worry about things anymore, sure enough I’ve had bad times but haven’t we all, I don’t want to sound cocky but I’ve reached the “Ah f…k it” time of life if you get my meaning, nothing we do really matters in the big picture anyway so why bother with it. Another thing in the dream puzzle might be having a clear conscience, as the old song goes “a troubled mind knows no rest” Lastly it could be nature’s way of preparing one for the last long sleep, who knows.
I watched a TV program a while ago where they put this fella into a kind of sleep where they could talk to him at the same time, all yerman came out with was a load of gibberish, I can understand that because I once took a notepad and pen and left it on the bedside table to record any dreams if I woke up, when i looked at the pad the next morning I couldn’t make head nor tail of the writing.
In all the studies and experiments they have done on sleep over the years they still know very little about dreams, maybe they got the answer at one time but forgot it when they woke up.
What is a dream?
A cosmic beam?
Is it a picture of the past?
Why does it never last?
You can’t save a collection
For scientific inspection
And because you can’t employ them
Just go ahead and enjoy them.
Roy Orbison had it all figured out in a song.
then there was bobby darin with dream lover - dream lover where are you I don’t want to dream alone !!
and was it the everley brothers that did a dreammm dreammm dreammm thingy?
Most folks instigate a DNR order, when they finally get some proper sleep, like most things, given the amount of change in recent years, this probably now needs updating to DNR(OR), o.r being “Or Reboot”, this instruction being sent to the Cobblers.
Us lads range upon subjects so diverse
Then convert our thoughts into proper verse
Us lads always call a spade a spade
Cos that’s the stuff of which we’re made
After years of shovelling shite
Our lives are now almost right
Now there’s a big statement me to make
(He retreats for tea & cake)
The Lads are also Perverse
A condition, not wise to Reverse
Enough of blowing one’s trumpet
I’m OFF for tea and Crumpet.
never, never have some crumpet after having your tea.
I was having some crumpet tonight
after having some tea ‘very nice’
but just as the climax began
a terrible rumble began
I had little time to decide
would I climax and save all my pride
or run for the loo in all haste??
any suggestions??
Never mix Business and Pleasure.
Surely,old chap,one should employ the forward momentum engendered by one’s rearward pressurised expulsion of condensed and somewhat eager to escape excess air,to assist in assuring maximum penetrative procurement and thus,enjoyment,of ‘the moment’? Should one find one has let rip a ‘bubbler’,one can,post-coitus,‘have it on one’s toes’,in the general direction of ‘away’,grinning like a loon as one leaps about on one leg,trying to put one’s trousers on as one avoids various airborne objects vectoring rapidly toward one’s head,accompanied by invective and expletives which are colourful in the extreme. Or-if one’s partner is of like mind-go for ‘seconds’. it’s all in the presentation,y’see…
Aha ! sounds like the arms and leg paralympics technique!
she was swirling her legs round me neck
when suddenly I had a quick peck
it was bubble and squeak; unable to speak
then in a flash we both hit the deck??
bu bum!
post coital - I feel a roll comin again
The wife and me are off later to Wexford for a few days, the weather forecast is favourable for the week ahead. It’s a pleasure to be in your company my friends, so take care of yourselves and be good now. 
I do hope you old things will enjoy your week.
I took the trouble of reading up on the county town of Wexford & it looks a really interesting place.
We are off to Shropshire in 2 weeks & hope for lots of rest.
There were several disturbances last night in bedsitland behind our apartment block. Kept me awake at 1.00am, 3.00am & 6.00am, Blinking students.
should have stayed in the old place RJ?
Trying NOT to think that way chum, the old place was nice in 2002 but deteriorated into multiple occupancy hell.
I miss JEM already