Deprecating myself all the way down the footpath.
I am contemplating, Gumbud dear boy , how marvellous that we can exchange pleasantries from 9443 miles away., in a flash.
Coincidentally that is also my pin number.
That was not really it!
I always intended to become a Plumber, or Heating Engineer, but alas, it was just a Pipe Dream.
I’m glad you are a contented man RJ, you are an inspiration to us all, always in good form, God bless you.
I hope your bit of bother sorts itself out Spitty, sometimes God gets it wrong and forgets things, often when he closes one door he slams another, he’s getting old now you know, about time that son of his took over.:-)
There was a young Woman God bless her
Who married a terrible messer
He tried all sorts of tricks, to get his weird kicks
Now her legs are caught up in the dresser.
I always wanted to become a carpenter but they said I would have to go to Nazareth and work my way up, first on coffins and then crosses. I thought nought of the crosses!!
don’t think we have any British Banks over here, they are all down under 9443 fathoms deep!
my second choice of career was neutering camels in the ozzie outback. I asked them how was it done?
Wellllllllllllllllllllll they said what ya does is hold a house brick in each hand on either side of their nuts, and bring them together very sharpish like.
Does it hurt I asked. Answer: Only if ya gets ya thumbs in tha way lad!
bu bum - I think we’re on a roll lads!
there was an old lady from Clapham
Who could let out a rip that would zap 'em
she could play Old Lang Syne,
whilst suppin down glass of wine
And…???
…when she stepped over bodies,she’d slap 'em!
hello geezers [and geezerettes,naturally]…it’s been a while,how goes it?
One has been busily whizzing around Italy with a low-loader,as a direct result of that ‘in/out’ kerfuffle. I don’t give a hoot either way personally…you just know the polititians will emerge with stuffed pockets no matter what the eventual outcome. Anyway-a question…does anyone know how I change my email address regarding this site? I got back,eventually turned on the pooter-and it informs me my email company is ceasing to exist at the end of September! Bummer. Still,c’est la vie,and all that.
Ah Pug me old mucker, great to see you back in fine fettle.
I’m useless at this stuff but If I remember correctly when I had to change me email on here I had to go to my profile page and change it, don’t forget to “save changes” at the bottom or else your back to square one.
With a round hole, potentially.
What is the World coming to I ask yeh? all this political correctness has me driven up the wall, old fella’s like me should be given immunity for occasionally breaking PC rules, or given a manual explaining what you can and cannot say anymore, though I imagine most of what you can say would fit on the back of a postcard.
Yesterday I told a joke I heard years ago, we were talking racing and the joke was about a dwarf and a jockey, a bit vulgar to repeat here but OK in a bar with only men present, but that’s not the point, the point according to one young man present was the fact that I called the dwarf a dwarf, he was up in arms over it, vertically challenged it should be he said, I must add that he was about 6 feet in height himself. This time however the over enthusiastic PC enforcer was wrong, the joke doesn’t give the names of the dwarf or the jockey, I would have thought calling someone an “LP” (short for little people) was insulting, although it could be useful for someone who never stops talking, the wife springs to mind ;-), anyway here’s what the little People of America Association says.
“Such terms as dwarf, little person, LP, and person of short stature are all acceptable, but most people would rather be referred to by their name than by a label.”
One should never be too hasty in judging others.
Erm … scuse please
I was honoured to kind of be invited to participate but a lot of this stuff is way over the top of my girlie brain and poor Joy is too scared to post anything 
tell 'er to stick a stamp on her bum and post herself back to Whitby!
:shock: she’s just gone to bed !:-p
Jem…are we now going to rename all our childhood fairytales?
oops…I mean ‘asexualtales’? Such as “Non-African-Descent Pubescent Female and the Seven Vertically Challenged Co-Habitants”? Yerwot?
You have to show respect, who knows Who or What you will be, next time around.
HERE YOU GO GUMMY
there was an old lady from Clapham
Who could let out a rip that would zap 'em
she could play Old Lang Syne,
whilst suppin some wine
She was once a coarse madam
Indeed Pug.
They will have their work cut out for them changing most of the popular fairy tales, take the violence in Little Red Riding Hood for example, grannies being devoured, a cross dressing Wolf wearing granny’s clothes,(what do you call a cross dressing Wolf that won’t offend him?) then having his head lobbed off by a woodsman. Not forgetting the three vertically challenged pigs having their homes blown away in order to provide dinner for another Wolf, (the homes hadn’t been properly checked out with Health and Safety before the first two moved in you see) The Wolf gets very bad press in all these tales so someone will set up a society for the restoration of Wolf’s good name which has been sinking into the mud since the good old days of Romulus and Remus, yes the politically correct fairy tale is coming soon, my sympathies are with the poor kids of the future.:shock:
http://i736.photobucket.com/albums/xx4/jemflux/romulus_and_remus_by_nauticalnymph.jpg
Quote Gumbud. "my second choice of career was neutering camels in the ozzie outback. I asked them how was it done?
Wellllllllllllllllllllll they said what ya does is hold a house brick in each hand on either side of their nuts, and bring them together very sharpish like.
Does it hurt I asked. Answer: Only if ya gets ya thumbs in tha way lad!
I have met several Arabian ex Camel brickers in me day Gumbud, all missing thumbs, they were lousy at their job and all got the sack, a few farmers in the Wicklow hills were looking for shepherds and offered them employment, I believe they make smashing shepherds, it took them 25 years to thumb lifts across Europe to get here but they settled in well eventually. I did notice they have to use two hands to hold a pint of Guinness.
One of them was telling me you must brick the Camel every 200 miles or so or else it just won’t budge for you. Dear God please don’t send me back to earth as a Camel.:shock:
Thank you RJ - very coarse!!
There was a young fella from Hants
Continually losing his pants
He would shout “take them down and spank me all round”
And the ladies obliged with no thanks
A paraphrased observation by Jonathan Raban in his book “Coasting”