scribblers write a script you must be joking - they can’t agree on any one topic long enough - anyway haven’t you heard - we don’t do pantomime anymore in OZ - we’ve come of age!
I’m auditioning for Henry VIII meets Red Riding Hood at the Playhouse Sydney - opening Dec 12th 2020!
Is that because you live in Ampshire??
Morning Possums.
I have alerted Fruity that he is missed.
Beautiful morning here.
Have a lovely day everyone.
It’s good to hear Fruity is Ok, and hasn’t gone Batty.
Henry the eight meets Little Red Riding Hood? I hope you get the part Gummy, what part was that anyway- the granny?
I’m anxiously awaiting news of my recent audition for “John’s Amazing Technicolor Loo Paper” it’s a big musical production to be staged at the Gate Theatre here in December, I’m not fussy though, any roll will do me.
The scene is the canteen on a large sheep farm in Wallaballa Bang on a very hot day.
Gumbud is seated alone at the counter dressed in jeans and string vest, he has just finished his shift having sheared 500 sheep, he is knackered, drops of sweat from his brow periodically drop into his beer mug.
Pug enters wearing a pink frock trimmed with white lace, a matching pink bonnet and shepherd’s crook in hand Little Bo Peep style.
Pug.(smiling) “Hello big boy, have you seen any sheep today?”
Gumbud. (frowning) “You tryin’ ta be funny girlie?”
And before you know it the pair of them are at it again hammer and tongs.
Somehow I don’t think it would work RJ.
“I say,I say,I say-is this a hammer I see before me? The handle turned toward m…oh,silly me…it’s the EVIL GUMBUD [loud boo’s from audience] with his willy out again!”
[gumbud] “'Allo,my darlings! I’ve come twice already today”.[sniggers]
[Sir Pug] “Come twice,you say? Good LORD man,surely you lie-for there is but one bus per day to Puggy Island!”
[gumbud] “True-but I came over the boa…I mean,came over ON the boat [crowd jeers & laughs]…I like pulling my own tiller,y’see-it gives me great joy as I bob about…btw-is Bob about?”
[Sir Pug]
No-he’s gone fishing on his boat with Jem,on the river Chuff.
It’s only a small one-but Jem really enjoys taking it up the Chuff!
[gumbud] DAMN! he beat me to it…this Vaseline’ll be wasted now!"
Sir Pug] Oh,I dunno…bend over!
[gumbud {as he eagerly touches his toes}] “Ooh,you are awful…but I like you!”
[crowd goes wild,cheering,clapping,whistling,demanding encores,etc]
Well, I wish we could make our minds up.
It will soon be A Midsummer Night’s Dream.
Somebody shake me
Wake me, when it’s over, when it’s over
Somebody tell me that I’m dreamin’
And wake me when it’s over, when it’s over
[GB slaps RJ on shoulder] yu’ve made a fine mess of it now Ollie!] crowd boo and scream for blood?
All tagever now:
Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong
Under the shade of a coolibah tree,
He sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy boiled
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me
Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda
You’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me
He sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy boiled,
you’ll come a-Waltzing Matilda, with me
Gummy Bear you sing so well.
I don’t like you being alone.
But alas, it is my bedtime soon.
Goodnight Possums.
saying yu don’t like me being alone AND then saying you are going to bed has connotations that are not worthy of being repeated on such a delicate thread
I think I’ll change it to:
there was a lonely swagman camped by a billabong cos everyone went to bed and left him alone and were is my sweet chum pugsie in his off the shoulder lama dress ; high heels and purple nylon stockings that disappear into infinity! [and if you’ve ever seen his ‘infinity’ yuz would nose wot I woz talkin abute!]
There was a young lady from dorking
Who believed her young beau had been porking
So she said RU blind – I’ve been terrible kind
You have taken my love – now the storks in!
wez on a roll lads and lassies!!
I am led to believe that Matilda is a nickname for a bedroll. Walzing matilda means wandering around and casting one’s bedroll down for a kip wherever tha fancies.
This may of course be a load of midden crust. Unfortunately most people only listen to me when I’m wrong.
Good to see you back in harness Fruity.;-)
That’s one very dejected looking Swagman Gummy, you’d think he’d just been told Australia had lost the Ashes.:shock:
Sweaty Swagman dives into the Billabong to cool off. Spying Matilda falls out of the Coolibah tree, breaks ankle and can’t waltz, the Swagman dries off in the hot Sun and he gets boils on his billy, feeling low and depressed he sits and waits for the number 10 bus home. That’s what that picture tells me, Matilda is behind the tree, that’s why you can’t see her.
For Gods sake mon could ye not find a happy Swagman, after all it says in the song that he sings while waiting for his billy to boil.
It’s a neat little folk tale that Waltzing Matilda, old Banjo Paterson wrote it I see, didn’t you mention him a few years back? the Pogues and Liam Clancy made recordings of it, it is one of my old mates party pieces whenever he’s asked to sing, he has no connections with Australia, actually he’s from the Aran Islands originally.
Now you lot have me googling!!
I had to know.
Image result for what is the meaning of waltzing Matilda
“Waltzing Matilda” is Australia’s best-known bush ballad, and has been described as the country’s “unofficial national anthem”. The title was Australian slang for travelling on foot (waltzing, derived from the German auf der Walz) with one’s belongings in a “matilda” (swag) slung over one’s back.
Fascinating.
I like to know these things.
One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,
One was blind and the other couldn’t, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout “hooray!”
A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don’t believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!
ah my dear you have finally caught the ‘leisurely scribbles’ disease proper - give her the golden gong Jem - strike it hard lady we all want to shout “shiver me timbers - she’s done it”
now spittie can you place the golden sash on the lady - gently please she’s not a jackhammer FGS! - and RJ the crown if you don’t mind - gentle does it watch her coffeured bits and Pugsie were the heck is Pugsie ?? - can you place the orb in her arms - thank you and finally fruitcake - pipe her aboard young lad ! - OMG I said pipe not strike! - wot a motley crew - me ? Moi? are well I will take her for dinner later - NO not with everyone else!!
:-D:shock:
What is it by Jove She’s got it.
You should have said.
What I do in the privacy of my own home with my Lovely Cousin is nobody’s business but ours! :shock:
BTW, does anyone know of something that will stop the harness from chafing? 
