Good for you Pug me lad! Wish I was living on an Island with the fish a jumpin’, the birds a tweetin’ and the cotton as high as an elephants eye, sure if you put one or two pubs there it would be sheer paradise. Enjoy it while you may, you lucky devil.;-)
Thinking about what RJ was saying and a mid life crisis made me wonder is there any such thing in reality? I was chewing this over with my old mate Wally in the pub today.
At the age of 72 I have been through all the ‘stages’ of life, baby, toddler, schoolboy, youth, man, husband, father, grandfather, and now old man. I’ve passed from no hair to black and on to grey hair, acquired a few wrinkles here and there, eyesight not the best and the hearing is on the way out, but what matter, it all comes with old age and we all know thats what happens.
Having said all that I never considered any stage of life as a ‘crisis’ at the time, it was just nature taking it’s course, crisis is when your wife dies suddenly or your house burns down, real serious stuff like that.:shock:
What is it with folks that when they are young they hope for a long life and when they get it they start complaining about being old, not saying anyone here is complaining but you’d want to hear some of the old moaners up in the local, they never stop telling you about their complaints and if you didn’t try to steer them off the subject they would go on all day.
While my heart truly bleeds for genuine sick folks, some of these people seem to enjoy their various petty complaints “Yes but my headaches are far worse than yours” arguing about who has more right to complain, so stupid in my humble opinion. I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best to make the best out of every day, try to keep your good side out, don’t be nasty to anyone unless they are nasty to you first, and don’t get into pointless arguments, as Charlie Chan says “Only foolish man continue to argue when case is lost”
Yes you’ve guessed it, I’ve been watching all the remastered Charlie Chan films on Youtube, some very good little who-done-its to be solved. What a strange name the Chan creator had ‘Earl Derr Biggers’ that’s just crying out for a poem, where’s Spitty when you need him?
That picture is so true, what’s the point of having clean air, healthy food and plenty of exercise when your going to kick the bucket at thirty, why one could be in the middle of a naked cha cha cha at the time.
steady on there Jem lad - Sweetie Pie bring the cold compress I think our Jem is spikin a fever - he keeps mutterin and mutterin and won’t stop - maybe a pint of guine ess will calm in down - no not to drink me dear - rectally.
remember what that young Oirish fella used to sing about in is song “naturally”
“alone again - rectally” - yes calms the mind down bum didi bum didid bum bum bum! there there he’s stopped shakin now - yes one more pint will do the trick - lift his legs up higher - god he has got a hairy bum ain’t he just!!:-p:shock:
An elderly couple are having breakfast in their house, it’s their 50th anniversary, the man says to his wife, “ 50 years ago today we were sat at this very table both of us stark naked” , “I remember “ says the wife, “ shall we get naked again” so they both strip off and are sat there without a stitch on. “ you know my love” says the wife, “my breasts still burn for you like they did all those years ago “ “ well “ the husband replies, “ I’m not surprised, ones in your tea, and the others in your porridge “…
this business of nobody lives past thirty are we talkin about 11.30pm or 12.30am here?? - just for clarity you understand and dear old RJ will no doubt be curious? or is this just a dirty low down limmy trick?
T’was actually a reference toward Dirty Gurty from number 30,gummy. It’s a well-known truth that any man-even a ‘dirty limmy’,being enticed across her doorstep,shall emerge no more,never again to see the sunlight…'tho,t’is also said,those same men have the happiest,most sated demises of all. Hmm…one can but wonder who revealed such knowledge of Dee-Gee’s intensity re bedroom antics…
Hello Possums
Goodness, I have missed so much!!!
Midlife crisis! They say those who predict such things, that we will live to 115yrs. Now that is most likely new generations, so let’s say 104yrs for us, that to me indicates that midlife crisis would occur at the age of 52!
Now hold on! I thought it was my hot flushes, damn things never help in the snow, oh no, they descend upon us poor women in the early hours, when suddenly blissful sleep becomes a heated nightmare. I have had the desire to roll naked in that snow, in a desperate attempt to cool down.
But enough of that nonsense from me, AGE is just a number. I would come and sit and talk to you lovely people in the real world. You would most likely be worn out by my chatter, but I say this in all honesty.
So be happy my friends - Spring is here!
Number 34 is my lucky number, it used to be number 109 but that number let me down in a raffle so I ditched it, funny how folks only have lucky numbers going up to 10 ain’t it, I suggest they live a little, be more adventurous and pick two digits, or even three, who knows their luck might change.
I knew a very refined young man, worked with him actually, he told me that anytime he asked a girl to dance when in a ballroom the first thing he asked her was what her lucky number was, if she said 7 as most do he would never ask her out on a date “Seven is far too common for me” He eventually married into the mighty Guinness family. That’s a fact.
As that great Irish poet and tinker (he had his own caravan) Malachi Mullarky said “One must endure life’s dangers if one is to live” he also said “To lie on one’s back and do nothing, is better than to lie on ones feet and get away with it” well said Malachi me oul flower.
Malachi had a point,Jem…but only up to a point. [see what I did there?]
I told a lie once. A blatant,all-out,100% non-truthful lie.
I didn’t feel at ALL worried about it being a lie,as DUE to telling it,I survived.
No severe battering,no headaches,no ringing in my ears,no snot in my mug of tea.
Oh-the lie? It was the night we were about to attend the Mayor’s ball.
Herself had proudly presented herself for my inspection in her new dress.
She asked “Does my bum look big in this?”
Now…my options were
1/“My dear,it suits you as rainbows suit the sky”.
2/“That dress enhances your glory the way sunshine enhances a Sunday”.
3/“You look like a horse backing up to scratch it’s arse on a gatepost”.
…using just your husbandly knowledge of such matters-pick the answer I didn’t use…then,using that answer,work out which one was actually true. [and for GODS sake,keep it to yourself!]
You are too much of a gentleman to use number 3 Pug, either that or you’re an awful coward.;-)
I have always been truthful when the women in my family ask the big bum question, anytime they have to ask me they seem to be very nervous, they all know too well that I don’t pull any punches so you might say I have the last word on it. I am under instruction to inform them immediately if I think they are putting on weight, I can assure you I hate the job, but as the hangman said, somebody has to do it.
Only last January the daughter came in and said she put on 8 pounds over the festive season, I was blamed for it for not watching HER weight! I mean how do you win with women.
Anyway why are they so concerned about the bum area? I never heard one of them ask “Does my breasts look big in this top?” Or with a new hat “Do my ears look big in this hat?”
the african males in general revere the large posterior in women but not in themselves! - and it’s very useful for carrying things such as kids and parcels etc etc I can’t imagine what else it could be useful for ??
That’s a bum wearing a dress Gummy “Does my dress look too small in this bum?”
I don’t know anything about F/book Gummy, me two grandkids are always on it that’s about it.
What’s with the ‘Sir’ Ringo, didn’t the Beatles all return their OBE’s back in the sixties?
What does OBE stand for anyway? One Boiled Egg?
Was that Gilbert O’Sullivan from Waterford you mentioned a while back Gummy?
One would rather eat one’s socks after a day wearing wellies in a horse paddock,than open a Farcebook account,gumbud,old chap. In the years that horrific joke’s been available to the populace,Jeremy Kyle has become a multi millionaire solely on the back of “Basically,you turned round at the end of the day,obviously,know wot I meen,Facebook,innit”!
[Ringo WHO???]
…and as for the young lady above…I really REALLY wouldn’t wish to be on the window seat beside her on a bus. Good Lord - her body’s back-to-front & upside down!
I say…pertaining to nothing in particular…one’s nice new,shiny,laptop arrived this very morning. Not even unboxed it yet,just had a quick peek inside…hmm,I’ll never make fully qualified geek at this rate. However,with a little luck and a lot of expostulating,I may actually be able to see youtube videos on forums.
oh for feck sakes Jem all you missed out was a forward slash! here it is mate - look I would be hopeless of polishing gems - but if you wuz trainin me yuz be sayin - come on gummy keep trying ; keep trying wouldn’t yuz??
