A fine looking woman you have there Gummy, lucky you, I heard the women are very scarce in Australia, is that why yiz have so many sheep?;-)
Yes Spitty is always correct, and I for one would never dis sputum.
I thought you guys might like this. Shh, I stole it from Tezza.
http://www.animatedimages.org/data/media/84/animated-horror-image-0054.gif
nope does nothing for me?? - but me mates may be intrigued?? especially the technically minded!!
You know Guys, a long time ago, on my way home from a night out, I bumped into a young Lady in a distressed state, keen to ensure her safety, and, being the consummate gentleman, I offered her unconditional shelter for the night. When home she spent a good couple of hours telling me of her relationship break up, stressing how much she was still in love with the guy, well, after she calmed, I offered her my bed, and tucked up on the sofa.
The next day, the bird had flown, without so much as a bye your leave, so I went to the bathroom to have my morning shave, I angled the shaving mirror and noticed the top of my right arm, which had been outside the quilt, had been coloured all the shades of the rainbow, then the though occurred, the lady was just looking for a shoulder to crayon.
Shoulder to crayon? were you annoyed? I hope you didn’t marker.
Good gif Sweetie, I’d like a ride on that chair meself.;-)
Well I’ve heard it all now, the daughter was telling me last night that they have some sort of draw in her workplace, there are so many working there that the draw pairs them up for the purpose of buying each other a present, I don’t know how it works but that’s not important.
Anyway she bought something for the girl she paired up with and do you know what the girl gave her? wait for it… a receipt for a 25 euro donation to Oxfam!!! the receipt wasn’t even in the daughters name! Now I mean to say in all earnestly, how could anyone be that tight? how would anyone have the nerve to give someone that kind of present, I was left speechless when she told me.
It’s not as if the girl was short of a few bob, they are very well paid civil servants.:shock:
https://s26.postimg.org/votcz5mh5/uncle_davy_3.jpg
This is a photo of my great Uncle Davy, he is proudly standing beside his barrel in his underwear, what was he so proud of? Did he go over Niagara Falls in that there barrel? not bloody likely, Davy had more sense than that. In the letter that came with the photo Davy said that barrels were made to hold beer and he had just finished the last dregs of the barrel, all 88 gallons! it had taken him 3 days, 9 hours, and 14 minutes to achieve this fantastic feat, a record that has not been beaten since, no wonder he’s so proud, good on ya Davy lad!
The letter also explains why he’s wearing underwear, to save time opening and closing his fly (no zips in those days) going to the toilet during his marathon binge he took off all his clothes, he wanted to pose nude beside the barrel but the photographer wouldn’t hear of it besides he hadn’t got a lens big enough to ‘Get him all in’ so they settled for underwear.
God I’m so proud of him!:-)
Jem
that pic of your uncle davy in his underwear brought tears to my eyes,
He is the dead spit of my uncle Vivian some time after his ballroom days.
I am speechless
Well, there’s plenty of “Ball Room” in those Long Johns.
Crikey Long Johns eh?
Did Long John Silver invent them?
All the fellas knew how to keep in trim in those days RJ, starvation helped a lot too I suppose.
Do try to dig out some more ripping yarns featuring my hero Vivian, it’s like being a kid again waiting for next weeks issue of “The Victor”.
The wife bought me a pair of red wooly long johns years ago, tried them on once and never wore them again, my whole body itched like hell.
It must have been Long John Baldry who invented them Sweetie, the chap who sang “Let the heartaches begin” and believe me the heartaches begin when your trying to put them on, when you have them on, and when your taking them off, they were the male passion killers of their day.
bit like the guy who went to the doctored in a state of distress - doctor doctor I’ve grown five penises - how can you get them in your pants says the kind doctor - fit like a glove says the man!!!
On the 24th day before Xmas my true love said to me
Let’s give it a miss this year ;buy some tickets in the air
Find some sunshine and skimpy wear ; just enjoy it on the beach
So that is why with glee ; we have cancelled chrissie tea ;shut up shop and gone
To Majorca in the sun with only one more day
No more gentle farts; or quick pees too far and an ostrich in a pear tree!!
MERRY XMAS ALL!!
https://s31.postimg.org/ktlpij797/images.jpg
unfortunately had to promise to take a few of the wifes friends along too!!
Gummy, you seem transfixed by Birds, they’re Ok, but not the be and end all. Pics are alright, but give no indication of substance, Man can not live on Crumpet alone.
No, that was Long John Baldry…before he “came out”
I had a brace of long johns bought for me by my Lovely when I told her of my toils in the wilds of Ohio on top of Thunder Mountain.
The johns were the first layer of many, ending in a lovely pair of Carhartt quilt lined calico overalls, with zips from ankle to the hips so you could put them on without having to remove your boots.
We were testing a jet engine that had to be inspected regularly, and some poor sod had to crawl up to the front end inside the intake duct to turn the fan whist someone without looked through a horoscopical device, lest there be weevils inside.
We were called Inlet Monkeys, and oft wrote ribald comments on the inside of the duct whilst the probes were moved from one orifice to another.
My contribution was, “They didn’t tell me about this at the interview.”
Only people of a certain reduced size, like muggins here, could fit, and have to be a contortionist to boot. It wasn’t too bad in summer but doing it in the snow and ice of winter was positively painful.
We had to come out every ten to fifteen minutes for a warm up on a bank of lectrickery fires, biggerer than that there beer barrel from Jem, all sat on a mobile platform that got driven in like something from the educational TV programme on the Discovery channel called Thunderbirds.
'Twas a great view from atop there of little hills 12 inches high. I was told these were the foothills of the Appalachian mountains.
Wild deer and a pack of wild dogs roamed the site. The owners didn’t actually know how big it was, but 'twas well over 5000 acres, for a ruddy manufactory and test facility!
Alas it was in a dry county and so we Brits heroically chose not to stay there but instead drive 80 miles each way from our hotel in Cincinnati. Well you would wouldn’t you, especially if the hotel free food and beer four nights a week and you were on a daily allowance.
Mind you, if we had a gert big barrel of beer at our disposal, and routinely topped up, we might have reconsidered.
Happy days.
heh spittie yu stick to your crumpet and I 'll stick to mine it’s the quality of the butter that counts!!
Hello Guys.
Just popped in to see if you are behaving.
Have fun over this festive period - With or even without your long johns.
Just hanging my stockings up for you to fill.
God Sweetie Pie love to fill ya stockings anyday!! and ya wouldn’t need to take em off even!!
:twisted::twisted::twisted:
Merry Xmas from OZ 8 hours ahead as usual - and in cricket too!!
Ah-so it’s all over for you eight hours sooner,too-y’lucky sod!
I can TELL Christmas Day is here-nuffink but adverts for fekkin sofas on tv.
Y’know-it MUST be possible t’float to Murca on a DFS sofa…
…after all,they have a sail on!
…oh,shuddup!..