Leisurely Scribbles (part 5) (Part 1)

ZACKLY!
Which makes ‘yuppies’ Young Unwanted Posturing Preening Ignorant Enophiles.
[provided the wine in question comes from the southern end of the vinyard,natch]

Never was a wine person meself Pug, I love the Port though.
I got a turn off wine when I was chucked out of a fancy pub in town many years ago. Before the wife and me went out I had been watching Tommy Cooper on TV, he made me laugh in a sketch he was doing in a french cafe where the waiter kept taking up Coopers bottle of wine to show him the label, Cooper was getting annoyed because he couldn’t read it, he grabs the bottle and says “Give me my wine, you swine!” Well I had a few earlier pints before we hit the pub and when the wife ordered wine after the meal the waiter held it up for me to see it and I tried the Tommy Cooper line and grabbed the bottle from his hands, “Give me my wine, you swine!” I honestly couldn’t resist saying it. He flung me out and told me never to come back again, all my pleas of “I was only joking” fell on deaf ears. The wife never forgave me for that one, can’t say I blame her.:slight_smile:

Well that wasn’t YOUR fault,per-se,Jem. It was merely a flaw in your assumption that everybody must surely know the sketch,that caused that…errm…minor embarrassment,me boyo! And as you say,Mrs Jem has never forgotten that golden moment,though it be lost in the hazy mists of time for everybody else. Ahh,t’is a golden-tongued smoothie,that y’are,to be sure! You kindled the fire of romance,that night…and here y’are,all these years later-still together! [THAT’LL learn ya!]

I am experimenting with “Antipatter” just to see what happens.

Tis true Pug old son, presumption was me downfall, them was the days when everyone watched TV and talked about it for ages afterwards, long gone now. Them was the days too when if you said ‘Bloody’ on TV the archbishop would be on to the station like a light threatening to have it shut down such was their power back then, today the archbishop is at the receiving end of all the F’s B’s and C’s they churn out of the same station, how things change in your lifetime.:slight_smile:

Well if it helps spitty,I have ‘antihandsome’ totally NAILED…

Jem,don’t fret boyo…these are what todays yoof will consider to be ‘the good old days,when y’could…’[insert cherished memory here]

I remember hanging upside down in trees,racing me mate on a home-built bike,whizzing down slopes on a ‘cartie’,making my first [only!] pair of stilts and meeting my [young teenage] mates on them and starting a trend,legging it off the cliffs in Shetland,never giving a thought to the height or the cold sea,joining my first ship as deck-boy at 15-and lots of other things which to others are of zero interest,but to me,are the pages of a lifetime lived. So,you cherish your memories,Jem.
After all,they’re what make you YOU. [see?]

Oh. It seems I’ve been banned from most of the other threads I was happily being silly in…at least,that what the notice that came up says…

Pug, just let those Threads Die, and Tap into a new one.

Hmm…not sure what that was all about-they let me back in…?
ANYWAY…onward,to more interesting things.
I’d like to ask if any of you have ever had anything ‘strange’ stolen.
Because today,while my car was parked as I did some errands,
…some prat stole my oil-cap off the engine!

No,I’m not making it up-the sod even left the bonnet up!
It was parked on the front as I went in to sort a birthday surprise for my mate-and when I returned,there was the [screw on] oil cap,gone!
I did all the usual checks as one would,including ensuring no fizzy cola had been poured into the engine-but no…just the oil cap,gone.
Natch,I’ve done a complete oil/filter change ‘just in case’,but,wtf?!?!?

Damn my soul,this bloody planet becomes weirder by the day!

That’s weird, I bet there is a 20/50 chance it’s someone you know messing about, if that’s the case I’m sure they will Level with you in due course, still, doesn’t do to make asSumptions, of course, it could be a toe rag who lost theirs and don’t want to Shell out for a new one, bloody Dipsticks.

Silly trick some used to play. Loads of oil would come out of filler ans cause a mess and stink.
How did they open the bonnet? Surly it has to be released from the car interior.

What is the World coming too I ask yeh. I once had a valve rubber nicked from the front tyre of my messenger bike when I parked it outside a posh shop, I only found out when I went to repair the puncture.

The untimate condensed Bible according to Mars Barr.

I was at a church function in a big Hotel with Martin Barr when a Lady asked him to sum up the Bible in a few words, Mars, who relished a challenge and was sitting with a glass in his hand and a wench on his knee, was never a man to use too many words, smiled and said.

There was a whole lot of begetting going on

According to Matthew and John

That’s how we’re all here, enjoying the beer

And having a dance and a song. :slight_smile:

I didn’t know where I was for a while there, but it seems to be sorted out grand now, thanks to those who fixed it, now there are more parts then a Chinese dresser, as me granny used to say.:lol:

Found out I wasn’t the only one-six oil caps nicked from that car park!
Fkn new one costs £16! Poke THAT! Got one from an old Ferguson tractor-fits perfectly!

Now,where was I…ohhh,yes - I play guitar,plus several other instruments I won’t bore you with. Now-due to being brought up in a series of children’s homes,I play whatever guitar I’m handed. I truly don’t know how,because I’ve been playing guitars since before I was out of nappies [15-slow learner] and I write left-handed. BUT,I play cricket and I bowl left-handed,but bat right-handed. Am I alone in my lost,lonely confusion?..[I own/use REAL pens,with REAL ink-and they have l/h Italic nibs]

I’m delighted you got a cap to fit Pug, God never lifts one cap without replacing another, or something like that.:wink:
My old Dad always used a fountain pen with real Indian ink in it, he had a large collection of fountain pens and nibs, also quite a few propelling pencils, he was a beautiful hand writer even if I say so meself.
Funny you mention guitars, he always wanted to play the banjo but an accident led to him having his left index finger amputated, that was the end of that dream.

What’s with all these split threads.

Glad someone asked that Spit lol

It is playing havoc with my mild Autism.

What happened !

I have heard of splitting the difference but this is now more like split personalities. :shock: