Jem a wine buff mate of mine says the royal oporto is good v.good but was it tawny or ruby ? I said he couldn’t remember his wifes name after a few of them!! never mind calling her tawny or ruby!!
Yes Gummy your mate is correct, it was a tawney, I’m a Sandeman meself and the Spanish lady keep saying ‘Eez taaawny, eez taaawny’, nice stuff.
I noticed this morning while in the barhroom that the wife bought a new brand of jacks roll, real posh stuff, shy blue, quilted, and the sheets are larger, they tear easier too and don’t leave bits of stringy tissue hanging everywhere like the cheap stuff, she said she was trying it out. It’s a lot dearer than the stuff she usually buys by the ten pack, but it still did the job.
A man and his bum could get used to sky blue quilted roll, it’s a far cry from the old days when the jacks was way down the back yard and little squares of newspaper hung up on a nail behind you, God for all you knew you could be walking around all day with the racing results printed on your arse, whatever you do son don’t get knocked down by a bus.
Yes I’ll give the quilted stuff my 10 points, might as well have a bit of lower luxury in me old age.
With Nurse Gillian this afternoon ,took one of our 5 granddaughters on a day out.
Visited my doctor on the way & unfortunately it was the wrong day, also the wrong week.
My ears you see have all but packed up.
After this setback , Portsmouth was our destination. The old docks, Naval centres, grist to our tourists occasion mill. The , huge aquarium was interesting, but althoughthe place was clean and well stocked, I kept wondering what was it for?
I saw no educational features, no breeding plans, no MISSION STATEMENT.
The shop was abysmal, rubbish stock & again no education
ANY WAY, the granddaughter loved it.
I was a creative lad & had a gift for writing. This was not my only gift. Jem’s decadent squandering of his cash on quilted luxury bumroll is a great disappointment to me, but its your life Jem.
ANYWAY, to get back to the bottom of my post I bewail the passing of BRONCO.
Such sturdy paper, smooth and shiny giving an efficient and effortless wipe. This last feature was /could have been made for this oft constipated lad. My aunt Jinny visited us regularly to rub my back to help me pass the hard poo. Too much information eh?
I have come to the real message here./
Bronco was strangely solid & on my long sojourns in the lav
I wrote first rate poems. Later in life I worked with a nice but ruined lad who’s mother wanted a girl child & dressed him in frocks & Alice bands until he went to school. Crikey, these days with a\ll the PC, he’d probably have carried on in that way.
Like me , he chose BRONCO to record his thoughts.
After his mother died he CAME OUT & got IN with a bad crowd
He left GRACE BROTHERS & pursued his new found freedom? with GUSTO MERKEL, who he had met in the FLOWER market. Romance blossomed (groan)
We have the Poncey Bog Roll, I tried writing on it, no chance, but I was Three Sheets to the Wind!
RJ, you bluffer, did you clear your back catalogue, so as not to become a Chatterbox?
who said “give me the boy until he is seven, and then I will give you the man”? [note NOT the girl!|
Could be one of many ex geezers, in the news for the wrong reasons of late.:shock:
I dunno Did I?
A mans character is his destiny .
Ennit
Very clever
you might even say succinct & pithy
Hard to say, till the Metamorphosis is complete.
I thought it went ‘Give me the boy WHEN he’s seven and I will give you back the man’ but I’m usually wrong.
I think I heard somewhere it was the Jesuits when they used to educate the upper class young boys, ya gotta be real brainy to become a Jesuit priest, they are the elite, I’ll guess it was them.
‘And must see jawdroppers, all without a hint of a subscription…’ so the ad goes for ‘Now’ streaming films.
Can someone please tell me what a ‘Jawdropper’ is? I think I saw one in ‘Carry on Dentist’ is it the big stainless steel thing they use to keep the mouth open? and who would want to watch that. 
By the way do they do jawstoppers and where would I get one for the wife?
well you are half right as usual it was the Jesuits who said “give me the boy until he is seven and I will give you the man” speaks for itself really - giving the boy when he is seven would be too late - the chinese follow the same principle - start as early as possible - have a look at chinese kindergartens - not much kinders but lots of gartens!!
jawdroppers - I shop for general household goods and dog and cat foods and keep a rolling account - everytime I say to the missus " you owe me another $100 her jaw drops.
bye the bye the Jesuits never used the term towards girls - they knew their boundaries and how to keep their tackle undercover!
what about “well I’ll be blowed” were from? or ya could have knocked me down with a feather?
“well I’ll be blowed”, was that Windy Miller?
Jaw drops, yes that’s a reasonable answer Gummy, why not, you have acid drops and lemon drops, ba gum that woman of yours sure swallers a lot of jaw drops.
I’m afraid you have me blowed on the blow question, is it of nautical origin?
By the way I know you chaps are too honest to googe for answers, that goes without saying, anyway what’s the point of cheating oneself.
There used to be a fella on here years ago and he’d be back with the answers in about five or ten minutes every time, swore blind he never googled, but if you googled it yourself afterwards you could see it was almost word for word to the google answer.
no haratio hornblower of the walt dysney fame! google whos google when shes around??
I remember one year I took my native American friend to see the Grand National at Aintree, we were old friends even though he never drank a drop of alcohol in his life, he was related to that famous apache leader ‘Passing Cloud’ my friends name was ‘Passing Pubs’
Anyway when we arrived at Aintree I took him on a tour of the course, when we got to Beechers Brook I told him that this was probably the toughest fence on the course, many’s the fancied horse came to grief here. We had a photo taken standing under the fence and then I asked him what he thought of Aintree, he looked puzzled as he said ‘Ain’t tree, is bush’
Sorry about that but I just had to get that one out of me system. :-)
god your turds must be very strange shapes and sharp too - do they hurt a lot?
was your friend related to big chief sitting bull cos there’s a lot of that around here too!
joke of the week award!
Condom on cigarette
Joan and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain.
Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Joan: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Joan: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a couple of boxes of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, well over 85 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
‘Doesn’t matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.’
The pharmacist fainted.