great to see you in full form again Pugs - we thought you’d lost your roar for a moment! back you bounce with a reproaring tale of what was it a boiler? if ya boiler won’t boil well were does that leave ya. I do have an outdoor very ancient boiler [hang on a mo I’ll see if I can find a name it}
here we are Rheem master electrical hot water heater - never lets us down!
You know Chaps, when I was Nineteen years old I went out with a Fifty year old Woman, who got through 80 cigarettes a day, I still have fond memories of being on top of Old Smokey.
…and did you give her a tip,spitty? [fnur,fnur]
a stern telling off for foul breath and tobacco smelling clothes unless you smoked the same amount - talk about sittin atop a wheezin whistle blowin mama - god you paint a gruesome pic there spittie unless it just " gruesome and gruesome and gruesome some more"
Greta was a spy for the Joseph McCarthy commission, a supergrass, when they asked would she grass she actually smiled and said ‘I want to be a lawn’ ;-)
I was always interested in the old parables of the Bible, my favourite being the prodigal son.
Seems to me nobody has bothered to pen anymore parables since the Bible was first put together, I though king James might have bothered to add one or two that time he decided to rewrite it to suit himself, but no, n’er a sign of a new parable. I therefore take it upon myself to rectify this omission and add my own modern parable, far be it for me to attempt to interfere with God’s book so I’ll just have to settle it on you lot of miserable sinners.
A young man (26) was going to work one Monday morning, he had a sever hangover and he did not look the picture of work as they say, he had a very boring job in a ball bearing factory counting out different sizes ball bearings and putting them into the appropriate boxes for shipping out, he had been doing the same job for ten years now and his eyes were keen and sharp, no bearing ever went astray under his Gimlet eye.
Suddenly there was a flash and God appeared to him at the factory gate, the Lord explained to him that he was there to offer him a choice, he could continue to live forever, but only if he stayed working at the same job, or God could make him a very wealthy man, but he would die on his 50th birthday. What was it to be? asked the Lord, and he must make up his mind now as he was in a hurry to get back to heaven, he had forgotten he had left an egg on the pan (God has to have breakfast too you know).
The young man had no hesitation in choosing the wealth, better to live as a free rich man for a good few years than live forever as a slave. The lesson of the story is simple, money rules every time and life is cheap, that’s the way it alway was and always will be.
When the man died and went to heaven God complimented him on his decision and let him sit at the left toe of St. Peter, a great honour indeed.
All rise now for hymn number 43, “He who wisdom knows”
;-)
…and the Lord,upon his return to Heaven dids’t say “Bollocks-I burned my egg!” and yea it was thus that the yolk dids’t be upon that young man. So he did rise in ire and did award himself a doctorate he invented on the spot,then put many to work for small wage and little esteem,for great was his anger. And that man-called-doc dids’t finally own a machine built by man,but inspired by the Lord…and as such, he dids’t name it ‘Apple’,in recall of the events of Eden. At which time a great flood dids’t start due to the Lord deciding the Earth did stink and was in need of cleansing…so that young man watched animals marching in pairs…and dids’t wonder how to remain dry in such testing times-and lo,the Apple Mac did come into being. And the Lord looked down and did think “WTF?” and sent messengers from Heaven to question the young man. And the messengers dids’t speak unto the young man and dids’t say "What’s up,doc?"and again,lo! For that young man standing tits-deep in floods as he heard those Heavenly messengers speak,dids’t have a brainwave and dids’t become the great and founding Father of WhatsApp! …and the Lord did look upon him and did say unto the Angels “Why do I fukkin’ bother!” and dids’t get back into his TARDIS and travel to the Dark Side Of The Moon,where he dids’t write a parable, which he set to music and the Lord dids’t name that parable “The Great Gig in the Sky”.
And lo [again] this all doth be TOTALLY true. Honest… Amen.
It’s a good job, this thread is full of Daisy Chains and Laughs.
Way to go.
Ah blood on the rooftops well fast forward from blood in the desert but I get ya stance - yes a touch of the casbar in there!!:shock:
I once knew a Jew with the Pru
Who could dance hava na gella on cue
He would holla and shout till his money ran out
He didn’t stay long with the Pru!
But Ishmael was craftier than that
He sold tea towel wraps for a hat
By the end of the week he had shekals beneath
and his wife asked heh Ishmael what’s that?
What ails thee Jock?
One of my pet hates is the use of modern language in period screen drama…
Watching the REFORMATION last night, the use of the word GUY had my fillings rattling.
how dare they RJ and you in your health and state of life - could make you drop off the perch!
Quite
in fact I nearly popped my clogs today. I was waddling along my daughters shrubbery & I fell down the bank. I lay there unable to get up for what seemed hours. Luckily the neighbors saw my feet sticking out of the compost heap.
HUH-s’nuffin’,bruv!
This very day,my mobile telecommunications device rang…in and of itself,a rare happenstance. T’was a person of whom I have knowledge,a businessman who dwells in my locale. He required assistance,was in need of succour regarding his somewhat unfortunate circumstance-to wit,having two employees,both of recent aquaint with his specialist services,inform him he could ‘upstick job,arsewise’. Hmm…of all the peeps you may think of when such unfortunate and unforeseen circumstance overload your capability to contain and cope with incidents,I would rate myself in the bottom ONE. However-off I trundled,was informed in noble but worried fashion of the actions and deeds required to redeem the situation.
…which is how come Yours Truly ended up trundling around the area in a Foden which has a 12-speed crash-box,as I emptied sewers!!! Yep -yer ol’ mate Puggleswick,known for his sparkling wit,amazing mind,graceful demeanour and,last but not least,his pussy-magnet iconocism…was trundling around in a 25-year-old Foden,emptying septic tanks and sewers!!!
Y’wanna know the WORST of this tale? Hmm? …I loved it! Every moment.
But-the REALLY surprising [to me,anyway] thing,is that on arriving back at the yard with the tanker [well,it’d be rude not to return it,don’tcha think?] I was offered the position full time,if I’d like it! Gadzooks-I was somewhat at a loss,as all I set out to do was assist a mate in difficulty…and…well…YAAAY! So as from today,I’m the local Shit-Shifter…which kinda proves that even in really bucolic,pastoral,ultra non-industrial,forgotten areas such as WheretheEllizzit,in which yer akshal Pug resides,there are miracles at work!
One of my best mates worked in the sewers of Dublin all his life Pug, he was always in good form and really loved his job, told yarns of enormous rats, even found a body one time. Unfortunately he died of drink when his old liver packed in.
Strange Gummy but last night I was watching people snatching up copies of the bible printed in German in the time Of Martin Luther, a good series on BBC4, made in German but subtitled in English, 2 guilders a copy back then and selling like hot cakes. The printers must have cleaned up and made a mint.
IF Martin Luther had an apple conputer
It would have made his task much easier to fulfil
But he had to be contented, for they weren’t invented
Working all night with candle and quill.
I thought they only used gilders for building skyscrapers.
2.2 approx. guilders to the Euro today, that means they would have being shelling out about 2 Euros per copy of the bible translated to German back in the 1500’s, very expensive. (beer was about 3 cents a tankard full at the time, 90 pints or a bible, you wouldn’t have to ask me twice to choose) ‘Roll up, roll up all ye of plenty faith’ They seen them coming as the granny used to say.
Philistines.
In Corrie,the Gentleman of the cloth, is the centre of attraction, at the moment, so far he has stolen cash, and distributed to the Hoi polloi, and, assaulted someone who turned the other Cheek, draw what you will.
Is the definition of a Scribbler, who finds their “Rock”, Scrubble?
well wot about this one then by one of the most prestigious journos of our time.
If you think you have a slant on the ME and what the allies are doin and what basad is doin and the russians of course and NOT donald trump [couldn’t trump a queen to win a jack] ; have a read of this then - yes I know it will be long and have big words but sometimes just sometimes you need to show your prowess!
I read it-even the multi & polysyllabics-but see nada to be worried about.
It’s the Cuban crisis all over again…the only difference is the geographic location. It boils down to a face-off between the nuclear powers…as it always has done. Personally,I give not one hoot,for nobody leaves this realm alive-and if that end is hastened by the idiocy and/or ego of politicians,then all it achieves is easement of the burden of living in fear of those nuclear idiots. Personally,I think the person we should ALL be wary of is the barber in North Korea who managed to convince Kim Jong Un that haircut was THE way to look good on TV…[beware]…
