lovely song Jem - they don’t write them like that anyway be gorrah I can just hear the roaring tones of it in an Irish pub full of guiness ! ah I remember me days in Irish pubs - I staggered in and I staggered out and as I went down there was always a shout - get up ya drunken engishman get up and fight again we know the bar keeps moving but ya can always come 'round agin!
I went to my local Garden Centre last week, in search of an atmospheric statue, to enhance the ambience, of a shady corner of the garden. I came across a large oriental looking fellow, sitting crossed legged, it looked like real stone, but was made of resin, and looked majestic, being wheeled across the car park on a trolley to the car. I raised the hatchback, and started to manoeuvre it into the boot, a kind young assistant chappie said “would you like a hand with that sir”, I said thank you but that won’t be necessary “it ain’t heavy he’s my Buddha”
“He’s my Buddha” 
I got a pair of small ones on the mantlepiece made in blue China, I call them “The Blues Buddhas” 
Have any of you fellas tried the new Mighty Adhesive Putty, it’s supposed to repair anything from leaking pipes to sticking broken cup handles back on, the greatest thing since sliced bread, and when it’s set you can drill it, file it, sand it, and paint it.
I got three sticks of the stuff cheap from China, nearly 16 euros on Amazon, I got the same stuff for 5 euros post free, God bless the Chinese so courteous and helpful.
Now I have to look for something to fix so I can try it out. The wife has this life sized ugly ceramic cat she got from her sister Maisie last year, I hate the way the bloody thing looks at me, might accidentally knock it over. “Not to worry dear, I got a stick of mighty putty here” 
I found a video on how to use the stuff properly, good video but I had to laugh at what some clown wrote underneath.
“I don’t like to read instructions. Long story short…. I ate 3 sticks of this stuff and now my butthole doesn’t work. How do I get this out of me and what is your return policy?
P.S. please make new flavors.”
Thanks for the laugh mate whoever you are.
Here’s the stuff.
You should never consume that stuff, it is rumoured homeless folk are force fed that stuff, in the “Truncheon Factory”, for half the living wage.
A very interesting program on BBC4 the other night about the human brain. They enlisted the help of a convent of nuns in a long term experiment, the nuns involved were old nuns and they kept a record of all the things they did during the day, when they eventually died they left their brains to the university doing the experiment.
When the brains were dissected (it was like looking at a cauliflower being sliced up into strips) they found that most of the nuns all had full blown alzheimer’s but had behaved normally when the were alive, the experts were stunned, how was this possible? It appears that the nuns were learning new technology with smart phones and computers as well as teaching pupils during the course of their day, and playing chess and computer games in their leisure time keeping the brain working all the time, it seems when the brain has something new to learn it picks up again, fascinating. So if you continually find new things to do your chances of going ga ga get slimmer, that’s where having a wife comes in handy, they will always find something new for you to do, like it or not.
I’ve always thought that when you get old it’s best to keep your mind busy, watching that program confirms my thoughts. Now where did I leave me pipe and tobacco?
I have found, interacting with one or two “Blue Nuns”, and “Defrocking” a couple of “Lady” Vicars, is, just another day at the Office.
1, who enlisted the nuns???
2. How long was the experiment - as long as a piece of string??
3. HOW old were the nuns???
4. where did they leave their brains exactly??
5. define normal behavior for a nun??
what appears to be so has been found to be false many times - researchers have been known to cheat you know just to prove a point.
this is what really happened!
- get up at 4am and pray in your room
- Go to chapel and sing matins’
3.Go to breakfast room and eat breakfast silently - Go back to own room and pray again
- Go to kitchen and work
- Go to garden and dig
- back to breakfast room for lunch
- walk around garden many times
- back to breakfast room for dinner
10.back to chapel for evensong - back to room to pray then sleep
I saw it all on call the midwife - of course they all appeared normal they live like mice in a cage - even with alzheimers you can do it!!
moral of story : beware of gentlemen in white coats slicing up cauliflowers they often lose the plot!!
It’s strange, I can run a mile in 8 mins, but I can hop a mile in 7, I think I may have Athlete’s Foot.
Well summed up Gummy, but dem was the old fashioned nuns. Todays nun is a different kettle of fish altogether, very few wear habits, far less time is devoted to prayer, most are paid for by the government as teachers and social workers, even nurses. Most nuns are old now as the young girls are not signing up anymore, they will eventually all die off, same with priests and vicars, lack of recruits, christian religion will either change dramatically or die off altogether.
Gone are the days of the little sisters of the poor mouth, as they were often referred to when calling to collect donations.
Tried “Blue Nuns” wine Spitty and didn’t like it. Being a catholic old lad I wouldn’t know anything about Vicars or their ladies.;-)
I see there was a late film on the Horror channel last night called “Nude Nuns with Big Guns” big calibre Canons and Vicars sub machine guns.
You had Vicars and British Small Arms, back in the 1950’s when we were kids the adults would say BSA when referring to piles “Your walking funny again Nora” “Oh I know Rita, it’s the BSA again” it took me a while to figure out BSA meant big sore arse.
I fired a vicars sub machine gun and threw one hand grenade when I was in the reserve forces, didn’t matter how long you spent in the reserve, only one hand grenade per person per life time, and you also had to sign for it, all they were short of doing was making you bring back the bits. I don’t know how John Wayne managed to get the pins out of the grenades with his teeth, they’re made of sturdy steel and bent over at the ends, I was only a little fella of 15 then, I had to put the thing between me legs and pull with all my might before I got it out, with only seven seconds left after that I didn’t care where I threw it as long it was far away from me, no I was never cut out to be an army man, maybe a nun?
becoming a nun takes a lot of habit!
Yes Gummy, but you can always try to get them out of the habit.
I really enjoy watching all the old black and white films on TV.
Actress Googie Withers appears in several old films running on the Talking pictures channel, I always liked her performances, I remember she was very good in that film “One of our aircraft is missing (1942)
Our local cinema had a double bill one week, featured on the outside illuminated billboard was “One of our Dinosaurs is missing” and underneath “One flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest”, purely coincidental I’m sure.
Anyway I always thought Googie was a queer name for such a lovely lady, and after hearing all the jokes about her name when I was a youth, (older members would particularly remember the one about giving advice on how to look like Googie) I decided to look it up, her real name was Georgette Lisette Withers and she was born in Karachi, India in 1917 she was also a fluent Urdu speaker, she died in Sidney Australia in 2011. Her Father was a Captain in the Royal Navy and it was her nanny who named her Googie, which means “Little Pigeon”
Strange how today we have “Google” or “Big Fat Pigeon” spreading the word all over the world, again purely coincidental.
Useless information I know, but I’m only trying to take your mind off more serious stuff like leaving the EU or getting nuked suddenly, I’ll bet most of you didn’t know what Googie meant, now you do, ain’t you glad you logged in today.
I’ll come back on that one, am presently wrangling with weirdness.
no wonder you have that little shed at the bottom of the garden Jem - you need somewhere to store all this erhm??? information - yes that’s the word I was looking for - and I’m sure ya missus wouldn’t want you storing it indoors next to her flying ducks on the south wall!
but ya right of course one of my little pleasures is watching a doco on various [deceased] famous or infamous people we have come across on the silver screen - in fact I think it should be mandatory - not that we watch them but that they are at least produced for our edification!
now here’s a piece of information that I share with yuz all - I’ll let yuz decide whether it is of use or not:
My current mobile had refused to charge up anymore with the usual plug in charger no matter what I tried so I was just about to give up on an trash it when I discovered another technique : when you purchase a new cell phone you get two chargers – one that plugs into the main socket of any electricity connection but another one that plugs into the side of your pc with a usb end – most people ignore this – when the main plug stops working this does the job just as well!
hi de ho!
That is a useful tip Gummy, so glad it made you happy, I don’t use mobile phones but the missus does, I’m heading out now but I shall jot it down on a piece of paper and stick it up the backside of a flying Duck, she’s sure to notice it there, she’s an expert Duck stuffer.;-)
Heard some good news for a change today.
I’m not blowing me trumpet but I have to say I’m very proud of my eldest grandson getting top marks in his leaving exams, he worked so hard for it, and all without push or shove from any of us, he’ll be heading off to Trinity College next month, well done Sean me lad.
I’m just looking up on Trinity, some famous literary fellows passed through the college, Bram Stoker, Jonathan Swift. Oliver Goldsmith, Oscar Wilde, to name but a few, all protestants too, they didn’t allow catholics into Trinity till the late 1960’s.
I passed through Trinity meself back in 1977, it’s a great short cut to St. Stephen’s Green.
I looked very smart in my navy blue suit and my Oxford tie, and as I was going under the arch a Trinity Professor noticed me and walked over “Ah my good man, I see by your tie you were at Oxford, what were you doing there?” “Buying a tie Sir”
you’re a card Jem to be sure to be sure - sitting by the sea shore heh!
I saw shamus Shaw sitting by the sea shore, shawin some drift wood to be sure to be sure 
Lets hope his CV has not been circulated to CERN, we don’t want another theorist on the Payroll.
Here’s one for the Pug fella, seeing that a few years ago you sorted out the difference between a “Wheeled Chair” and a “Wheel chair’ for us.
Could you tell me what the correct term is here, some people say they will meet you at the Railway Station while others say they will meet you at the Train Station, which is right?
I was discussing this in the local the other day (I know, I’ve little to do) and I maintain that the Railway Station is correct because the rails are always stationary, only the trains move, the train is only stationary when it stops to load or unload passengers.
My opponent reckons that the train stops and becomes stationary at the train station, therefore it’s a Train Station. but stationary means it’s not at moving at all, it’s not meant to move, just like a statue, it’s stopped. A trains main function is to move, if it didn’t move it would be a useless train, so it takes off and stops at a railway station because the tracks themselves never go anywhere, they’re permanently stationary, so it has to be a “Railway Station”, or has it? 