Look forward to the pics 
monkeys? yes they can hold lots of balls in their mouths
A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.
Well, he said, ‘It’s what mummy calls me sometimes’.
The little girl screams to her brother 'Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole.
Y’just KNOW life hates you when you peel a banana-and it’s empty!
I’ve just realized how much I trust the internet, I use it to check my Lottery Numbers, what if it had lied?
Perfection, maybe.
ah see ya hedgin ya bets again spittie!
surely the devil can offer us the same!
Gummy, after all the push “n” pullin, ya just ave ta check ya own default settins are still intact.
nuffin rang wiv may default settins r kid, day woz set lake dis in de faktory!
betta teek a leek at ya ain settins ya kud be terkin up ya ain arse - ya see wot I meens laddie??
van morrisson - big puffter! but erh hem I do like a little pavarotti with champers after dark!
Gummy, do you remember that Architectural Tour we went on, to Bath, back in 85, when that Lady Streaker bent over to tie her lace up “You saw the Crescent, I saw The Whole of the Moon”.
BTW Ya arse is closer than Ya mouth, wen shootin from da Hip.
Yes-true,dat…
…speakin’ of which [which we weren’t] does it bother you that nobody knows just how many chameleons sneaked onto Noah’s Ark? Which explains why there was no room for the unicorns!
And, why did the Chameleons, not get their Karma?
It is said every cloud has a silver lining, well, that is true of our loss of Industry, the plus side being, there is far less Industrial Disease, and fewer industrial injuries.
Back in the 90s, my mate Ry got his genitals trapped in a metal folding machine, it was touch and go, but the good news was the surgical team managed to re-structure his bits, and, a film was made about his plight, it was called “Saving Ryan’s Privates”.
There was a young fella called OZ
Who played with his plonker because
He pulled it so much it stretch right past his crutch
And when he farted it shot passed his hip
Bye the bye when you were luridly watching the lady stripper tying her shoelace what you thought was the whole moon was a a few degrees lower – you were gazing at her boobs old fella – I had the true crescent as I peeped through the brycleemed parting in the centre of ya head! Thank god ya had ya trussers on Jimmy!
I don’t think she ever tried that one Spitty, but she’s game for anything so I don’t suppose it would be a problem to her, her mouth is big enough to hold two cannon balls. 
I forget how old she is, I think it’s 84, but she has beautiful legs of which she is proud of, and she can murder several pints of Guinness at an evening sitting. She loves dancing and had the feet danced off a local farmer half her age the other night in the pub, yes fighting fit for an oul one of her years is our Maisie.
Speaking of balls, I’m glad they sorted out young Ryan’s Spitty otherwise there would never have been a Ryan’s Daughter.
I would have dearly loved to take you all on a short holiday with me lads, Wexford is a beautiful County, but there wouldn’t have been enough for all of us, £2,000 or 2234 euros when I cashed old Benny’s cheque, then I gave the missus half that, didn’t leave a great deal over, however if I do fall into real money you have my word of honour that I’ll hire out a farmer’s field for a week, stick a tent in it and yez can all go mad with yourselves, don’t forget to bring your own beer.
We have all these ads on TV now for various lottery’s, it annoys me when they say “I have won life changing money” or “You can win life changing money” surely that should be “Life STYLE changing money”
Certainly money wouldn’t change my life, I’ve had it and I’ve not had it, spent it and saved a bit, otherwise it made absolutely no difference to me, I’m still the same as I always was, just getting older, but aren’t we all.
oh he;s back then ?- that didn’t last long! reminds me of that great party in “One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest” and that other party sung by dear departed Leonard Cohen “closing Time”
Gummy, some folks see an arse, others see an exit strategy.
wow well if ya offering I’'m game!!
Sorry Gummy, my Assets are strictly Offshore.
you must remember spittie it’s not the size of the cock in the crow but the size of the crow in the cock!! 