Leisurely Scribbles (part 5) (Part 1)

[Robert_Jnr]

TIME & MOTION

Why does life always go forward and not back
wouldn’t it be great if we developed the knack

Of saying “see you yesterday” if you did so choose
That way never a day you’d lose.

Life grinds on mercilessly every day
That’s because time goes only one way

Backwards AND forwards is the only solution
Going forwards will have an ending gruesome

Life goes on tirelessly every day
This is what I’d like to say

Why does gravity pull things down always
There’d be more room if stuff went straight up
You could tie important stuff down in safe ways
You could easily retain just enough
Cups and saucers bowls and plates
Of course at first you’d make mistakes
The stuff would not always be very near
But you’d soon find ways to save it floating up to the stratosphere

(C) RJ

[gumbud]

A tisket a tasket
Everyone take a basket
And fill it up with thymes and rhymes
And put them in the casket

Then take it to the mortuary
We they perform the torturey
And burn them to a cindered ash
A powered bag of poetry

The undertaker smiled as we passed by
Upon one figure he had his eye
He seemed to know when it was time
“I’ll pick the one who makes it rhyme”

Leisurely scribbles well indeed
They have no time for those in need
Last of the summer wine they say
The undertaker just passed this way

I knew a man who knew another
And he knew wild bill hiccocks brother
Rode the ranges and the prairies
Started talkin to the fairies

They took him to the mortuary boffin
Where he was measured for a coffin
Cedar wood or prairie oak
Asked the man in hat and coat

The man wrote down his leisurely scribbles
Whilst the undertaker dribbled
Did he say twas cedar oak
or twas it prairie artichoke?

If he shrinks whilst getting older
Can we get a discounted soldier
He served his country well they said
But it went all to his head

Whats with all the leisurely dribbles
Beer stained shirts acoat with nibbles
We’ve gone a whiter shade of pale
Ah I think I’ve hit it on the nail

:shock::!:

[Robert_Jnr]

SAy what? [SIZE=“6”] EPIC[/SIZE]

[Robert_Jnr]

I knew a man who had just turned thirty
He changed his manner, became quite flirty
Hows he going to cope with what’s been done
When he reaches thirty one,

I met a man who walked askew
It was hard to know whether or not he knew
Or was he just a little weird
It transpired that it was the latter
Just as as I had feared,

[gumbud]

There was a man called Robert Jay
I don’t know why he walks that way
He’s worked among the greatest names
But his constant walkin has turned to pains

He’s seen them all from kings to paupers
And caught some ladies in the torpors
His family tree is quite astounding
His Uncle Vivian takes some pounding

His greatest asset is his pen
Sometimes poisoned for us men
But he keeps us on our tipsy toes
Staring at us down his nose

We love his tales with sarcastic wit
Which he delivers dish by dish
But would we be without the bard
Oh my NO he is a card!!

[Pug]

The very best person about whom to write a poem
Is a member of your gang-coz that way you know’im.
It’s not that there’s no expertise in the prose,
It’s more a case of the Cool Kid,hangin’ wit’ his bro’s.

[Jem]

Well how does one follow that, as the man with the ball and chain said. An explosion of poetic wit!, nay a nuclear blast of raw creation, sweet wine to the parched peasant. You lot really are on top form lately, was it something you drank?
God only knows what you’d come up with if you drink any of MKJ’s home made Sherry when it’s matured.

[gumbud]

who’s MKJ is that a new Japanese car??

[Jem]

Who’s MKJ? good God man you may as well ask me who’s the Pope.:shock:
He is a fine upstanding young man and an excellent hand at the poetry, have a look at some of his poems in his own tread. Some of them are very deep as he’s a deep thinker, whereas me, I’m just a common tinker.
In my opinion too much thinking is bad for you, one could easily go round the twist if one was to try and figure out everything, most of the important stuff that makes the whole existence thing work is not meant to be understood by microbes like us, much as it might came as a shock to many, but we simply don’t count.

[Robert_Jnr]

THIS THREAD IS …

excellent, marvellous, magnificent, superb, fine, wonderful, superlative, exceptional, formidable, first-class, first-rate, virtuoso, skilful, masterful, masterly; informalgreat, terrific, tremendous, super, smashing, amazing, amazeballs, fantastic, sensational, stellar, fabulous, fab, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, ace, crack, A1, mean, awesome, magic, bad, wicked, out of this world; informalbrilliant, brill, bosting; informalneat, badass, boss; informalon fleek; informalbonzer; informalwizard, spiffing, ripping, topping, champion, capital, top-hole; informalswell, keen; vulgar slangshit-hot

That is all I have to say blokeys.

[Robert_Jnr]

[I]His greatest asset is his pen
Sometimes poisoned for us men
But he keeps us on our tipsy toes
Staring at us down his nose[/I]

Moi? mon ami?

[gumbud]

@Robert Jnr.

[I]His greatest asset is his pen
Sometimes poisoned for us men
But he keeps us on our tipsy toes
Staring at us down his nose[/I]

Moi? mon ami?

now now don’t go given us that shop floor walk flared nostril look!:-p

[spitfire]

@Jem

Who’s MKJ? good God man you may as well ask me who’s the Pope.:shock:
He is a fine upstanding young man and an excellent hand at the poetry, have a look at some of his poems in his own tread. Some of them are very deep as he’s a deep thinker, whereas me, I’m just a common tinker.
In my opinion too much thinking is bad for you, one could easily go round the twist if one was to try and figure out everything, most of the important stuff that makes the whole existence thing work is not meant to be understood by microbes like us, much as it might came as a shock to many, but we simply don’t count.

Yes, the spreadsheet has eradicated the last vestige of mental arithmetic!

[gumbud]

@Jem

Who’s MKJ? good God man you may as well ask me who’s the Pope.:shock:
He is a fine upstanding young man and an excellent hand at the poetry, have a look at some of his poems in his own tread. Some of them are very deep as he’s a deep thinker, whereas me, I’m just a common tinker.
In my opinion too much thinking is bad for you, one could easily go round the twist if one was to try and figure out everything, most of the important stuff that makes the whole existence thing work is not meant to be understood by microbes like us, much as it might came as a shock to many, but we simply don’t count.

Who’s MKJ? good God man you may as well ask me who’s the Pope.
He is a fine upstanding young man and an excellent hand at the poetry, have a look at some of his poems in his own tread.

I have certainly no intention of looking at MKJ’s tread or even go near it - a man’s tread is his own business!

[Robert_Jnr]

@gumbud

I have certainly no intention of looking at MKJ’s tread or even go near it - a man’s tread is his own business!

Do I detect a Celtic twang here, or is it just a case of dropped haitches.

A local landowner, now long gone, had a favourite expression, delivered frequently & with a sardonic gaze.
“The best fertiliser is the Master’s foot”

No idea what he meant …do you?

[Robert_Jnr]

@gumbud

now now don’t go given us that shop floor walk flared nostril look!:-p

From my diary November 1964
Mr Simpkin was the floorwalker in “Grace Brothers”

To start with anyway I was not allowed to serve but just to tidy the rolls of material endlessly pulled about by the public, and to clear up after the trained salespeople.
I loved the fabrics that we sold, and I loved the way we displayed everything in colour spectrum order.
Always, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet. “ROYGBIV”
Mr Simpkin roared “ROYGBIV”" whenever he saw a roll of material in an incorrect place. .Then he would stride off to berate poor Jimmy or the deputy manager Mr Hornet.
I suppose Mr Simpkin was a sort of early role model for me. He patrolled the customer walkway encircling our department and approached customers with the customary,
“Are you being served?” Sometimes he would greet them with a jolly but veterinary style
“ have you been attended to“. He had though a very distinctive way of walking and I have to admit I copied it, only stopping when I discovered he suffered badly from Haemorrhoids.

[gumbud]

Aim net a wun
To drop me aiches
But can drop some
When silence waiteth

Aich should always start with huuuu!
To call im ‘arold is not the brush
Unless yu iz that steptoe man
Oozes always out of step and cussed

Sings with a foxtrot lilt slow soft shoe shuffle and clicking of the fingers as did old Frankie and Dino!

Aiche is for the horny lady bird
I is always “I will score with her”
J is for the jerk who queers me patch and then
K is for the ketchup down his shirt!!

El is for the longin in me heart
M is for the misery she always starts
N is the for nightmare that I share without her
O is for the oh la la la la

[Jem]

@gumbud

I have certainly no intention of looking at MKJ’s tread or even go near it - a man’s tread is his own business!

Yes I agree Gummy, a man’s gotta tread where a man’s gotta tread and let no others tread upon it.
As the great man wrote.

The Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heaven’s embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light;
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W. B. Yeats

Well I gotta go back to work now, as that other great man wotshisname wrote “I must away now to the shed, for it beckons me yonder” or something.

[gumbud]

or thread softly because you thread upon my dreams??

I do wonder where this thread is going??

[Robert_Jnr]

@gumbud

or thread softly because you thread upon my dreams??

I do wonder where this thread is going??

Thread
Threat
Throat
Groat
Great
Treat
tread
bread
broad
brood
…