That would depend upon which side of the Pennines one was situated,gummy.
…although I can recall one chap ‘jumping ship’ in Cape Town and disappearing with a loud poof…which surprised me as I was a mere yoof of fifteen summers and unaware of such shenanigans. I can actually remember him standing on the quayside,holding hands with that fella,waving,as we ‘let go’ and got under way. It’s strange,the way we have no say in what will imprint itself upon our minds,so that total clarity of the moment remains intact for decades,yet gumbud’s name escapes me.
The only magician I knew was the fella from the Ball of Inverness, if you never heard that comical poem you ain’t never heard a comical poem, one of my all time favourites but too bawdy to post here, I don’t want to end up in Ha ha ha land.
I thought I’d let you see me new curved screen monitor, I find it great, easy on old eyes, 24” Samsung and a steal at 170 euros, as I said before I can’t wait for the main TV to conk out so as I can get a big curved one, always the way isn’t it, when you really need a TV it conks out on you, ah well, a fool and his few bob are easily parted, but there are no pockets in a habit either, I’ve had this curved monitor a few months now and I’d recommend it.
Curved things are all the go now. I can remember when curvy females used to be raved over by the men back in the 1950’s, fine breasts and bum to match, the tiny little waists that a man could span with both his hands, some of them today you couldn’t span with both arms even if you were an Orangutan ape. (I’m only Joe King) God you’d have to get up early in the morning with a good pair of walking boots on you before you’d meet a female with them dimensions today. the women had what they used to call hour glass figures back then, after and hour and a few glasses they were ready for anything, made that up meself, not bad eh.
A shame when they just let go and turn various widths of parallel, no curves anymore, Anyway I’m just trying to bring back a few curves into me life for old times sake,
If you feel it’s what you deserve,
go get a screen with a curve.
When a wench with a figure
has her boobs made look bigger,
you’ll be happy,you dirty old perv!
Well done Pug me lad, no better man for the hard ones.
I was all excited when I took this snap of the moon last Friday night at 11.34pm, I had seen a flicker in the sky beside the moon and went in to get a camera, not my good one but a cheap one that was handy, only when I took the card from the camera and put it in my laptop did I notice the other two balls, the wife was quick to shoot me down saying they were just paper lanterns, but if you look closely you will see the reflection of the moon brightening up the side of the blue ball, surely if there was a light inside the ball it would be all lit up? and how come the red ball at the bottom has two lights? Anyway the was no activity in the area that night, all was quiet, so as far as I’m concerned they are mini worlds parked near the moon, that’s my story and I’m stuck with it, as Stan Laurel used to say. What do you think they are? The photo is completely genuine, any photographic expert can take it asunder and find it has not been tampered with in any way.
Zoom it up as much as you can.
I meant to post this before the other one, but it matters not.
I have always had a theory that the only way to travel unimaginable distances through space is in a sphere shaped vessel, a mini world if you like, such distances to be covered by any inhabitants of life sustainable planets in a vessel of any other shape would soon have the corners knocked off them, take the comets for example, all almost perfectly round, and old Haley keeps coming round every 90 years or so, even our own planet is travelling all the time since it came into existence, same as all the others, round is the only way to go where space travel is concerned and you don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that out, time the scientists got on the ball. Just look at any creators on any planet, the creators are all round where round objects crashed into them, you don’t see any other shaped creators do you?
I think we have been visited many times before via mini world space ships, these small self contained worlds would contain everything to sustain life forms from birth till death, travelling through space probably in search of a permanent world to settle on, who knows their purpose. they could park their craft not too far from earth and use small shuttle craft for closer inspection of our planet, hence so many thousands of UFO sightings all over the world.
Yes indeed, I got my stash of ‘holy water’ Gummy my wild colonial boy, but don’t mention it to the missus, it’s not all sweat and graft in the shed you know.;-)
It’s not the first time I’ve seen queer things in the sky, I remember in the late sixties when my older brother was home on leave from the army, we had a few drinks in Fagan’s pub and on the way home I saw a round silver metallic disc hovering above a tall oak tree, green lights were flashing from it, and just as I drew his attention to it it vanished, up to his death several years ago he still used to slag me about it “Seen any green flashing lights lately Jem?”
Anyway us theorists must be prepared to suffer and take the slagging from all quarters, I’m well used to it by now, after all they laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Marconi, they even laughed at Galileo, but they never laughed at Arthur Askey, the worst comedian in British history.
One day the truth will be known, until then we must all contribute our theories no matter how daft they sound, in the hope that if we fling enough of them at that great scientific wall something has to crack the thick shield and get through to those who call the shots, they finally succeeded in ramming that nonsense about the Big bang and black holes down the throats of the masses who accept it as gospel now, but they’ll never convince me, they don’t like anyone going against their version of what it’s all about and how it all started, talk about cliques, no sir, nobody rocks their comfortable little boat.
Give me the old fashioned 'mad’ scientist any day, toiling away at the bottom of his garden, surrounded by rubber tubes and bottles of chemicals (and a small bottle of poteen :-)) in his old potting shed, them’s the true dedicated scientists, not in it for money nor fame, just for the benefit of all mankind, bless their kind souls.
And there ended the sermon from the mount (until the next one)
Yes Jembo, it all seems to be about “Particles” of late, so I sifted through the Particulate Filter in the Vacuum Cleaner, found nowt but, it played havoc with my Dust Allergy.
I hate to change the subject but I must - I have taken to watching Grantchester - what a delightful show - a beer drinkin [and whiskey] cigarette smokin; jazz loving anglican vicar who is having an affair with a pregnant married woman - how delightful - all the sins rolled into a sexual extravaganza!!
I once had an affair with a Vicar’s daughter, we couldn’t be married back them, the catholic church wouldn’t allow it, she said she wanted to be converted, so I took her down to Landsdowne Road and kicked her over the bar.
Dust to dust, that’s all we are, balls of dust all arranged in a complicated way for some reason that nobody will never know.
Ah the particles, the nitty gritty particles that we are all made from, called in the scientific community ‘The building blocks of life’, the real trendy scientists even go as far as calling them ‘Lego’
It’s about time someone gave them a few blocks to play with, might keep them quiet for a while, they can try out a new game, how to get a square block into a round black hole, and if you can hold enough building blocks in your hands and clash them together you will get a ‘big bang, I used to do that when I was a toddler, got a great kick out of it.
I don’t have to move from my house to find out all this stuff, my coal house is full of ‘Dark matter’ and if you want to do ‘Logan’s run’ the toilet bowl is never too far from Uranus.
isn’t that what the vicars daughter said to the sailor? and he said well not sure if I can get an ecclesiastical slant of this but my hypocrisy is ready to go into action just say when!
yes it’s all hydrogen and air really - me old granny used to say “i don’t know what’s happnin today my old hydrogen ion just won’t heat up and I’ve got to get ya grandads shirt straight be noon. Perhaps I need more iron and less air?”
Actually my great grandmother, widowed during the Boer war with three children, was left a scrap metal business owned by her father in law, Annie Byrne was her name, they used to call her Annie old iron, no kidding.
Amazing how money seems to have lost it’s value, even in the minds of people, figures like million, billion, and trillion, are flung around now like confetti used to be at a wedding. Seems to me if everyone ain’t a millionaire in thirty years time they will be on the breadline.
We are all in hock up to our eyes
Running around like blue arsed flies
A billion here and a trillion there
What’s the difference, we don’t care
Invisible money you can’t see anymore
They just keep printing it galore
No gold in the bank to back it all up
Nothing left but an empty cup
Gone are the days when we had cash in your pockets
All you got now is cards bills and dockets
“I promise to pay the bearer on demand’
But if he want’s it in gold I’ll cut off his hand
The world has gone bust I tell you, we ain’t got a light
It was the greedy bankers who landed us in the shite.
You can’t beat the shiny yellow stuff, when everything financial goes belly up, gold is your only man, it speaks a language everyone in every country understands and respects, yes Goldfinger got his priorities right.
Very high priced works of art have become dodgy investments now, I was reading an article recently, they reckon there are a good deal of art works in the hands of well to do’s that are not the real thing, secrecy is top priority here ‘cos if the word ever got out some of them are not worth the canvas they are painted on, yes many have been stung by well organised teams of talented art forgers and dealers, patiently working together in long term sting operations.
I hear that well known works of Rembrandt and Picasso are been sold on in secret in a sort of pass the parcel fashion.
I’m off to the local now pass a few pints, it’s nice to sit out in the beer garden they have at the back in the sun and smoke your brains out.
ya a bit of a poet yaself laddie - welcome to the club!
There was an old fellow called Jem
Didn’t know where all his money went
His wife said‘I ain’t got it, not in my pocket’
All that guiness and fags you have spent
But don’t worry you’ve gold in the bank
You can make many rings when you’ve spent
And think of the teeth you can fill up so neat
A goldsmith in the family called Jem!
Charlie Farrell’s ten year old goldfish had passed away peacefully in his bowl last night and Charlie came into the local today with a face on him like a plateful of mortal sins, you’d think he’d just buried his mother. He insisted on a minutes silence after which there was a long lull, I think he was waiting for someone to say the lords prayer and three hail mary’s, but there were no volunteers, I mean what words does one say over a dead fish. He had already buried the fish beside a chestnut tree in his back garden, he had him laid out on cotton wool in an old cigar box as he gently placed him into the hole. Anyway, for the poor broken hearted mans sake I hurriedly jotted down a few words, put on a solemn face and read them aloud.
Requiem for a dead Fish
He swam long in his tank, handsome with a golden tan
The grandkids loved him, but Charlie was his biggest fan
He never did tricks, just swam around like he oughta
But he could blow big bubbles, right up to the top of the water
Then suddenly last Tuesday, at about half past seven
He snuffed it, and for Charlie’s sake, we all hope he’s in heaven.
It must have helped to console him because as soon as I was finished Charlie called for drinks all around. What truly amazed me was how a person could get so upset about a pet fish, I can understand with a cat or dog, even a bird maybe, but a fish? it was a first for me I can tell you.
As the fella said, we are all made of the same stuff but we are all very different.:-)
Yes, why was there no reference to the fish’s name, that suggests the Fish was subject to emotional detachment, I’d bet the poor thing died of Bowl Trouble.
Dust to dust, that’s all we are, balls of dust all arranged in a complicated way for some reason that nobody will never know.
