Leisurely Scribbles (Part 2)

[Harbal]

Socks go missing in the wash. This is a fact known to all women, but only to single men who do their own laundry. There was even a study conducted on the phenomenon by one of the more prestigious universities, but no conclusive results were arrived at, and the whole affair was eventually put down to being just-one-of-those-things. Compared to the other day to day problems that most of us have, the odd missing sock is not a matter of great importance, yet some people cannot rest until the mystery has been solved.

I used to be married, and I remember the missing sock event happening to my wife several times. Whenever it happened, she would refer to it numerously, for the rest of the day, as if she couldn’t get it out of her mind; although I didn’t know why she was so keen to put it into my mind. The sock would always turn up within the following few days, and she would always tell me, “I found that sock”, at the earliest opportunity. It would usually take me a few moments to recall which sock she was talking about.

Now that I live alone, and do my own washing, I have come to understand how upsetting a missing sock can be, and one of the worst things about it when it happens is that there is nobody I can tell about it.

Although I suppose I could announce it in a leisurely scribble, the next time it happens.

[spitfire]

Feel free to unleash Harbal, the Memsaab may be of use.

[gumbud]

Erhmm so you seem to have picked up a sock elf or even a fallen fairy - they can become quite numerous around Xmas - that’s why so many MEN get sock presents!!

[gumbud]

Christmas or Xmas

Some say it’s the Mass for the Christ

But that can’t be right they’ve left of one ‘s’

Others the Mass for the cross

But the ‘s’ is still missing for sure

My kids ask me this every year

And I’m damned if I can solve this aged score

But I know who can ‘mastermind’ this

He’s got a mine of historical facts

They are all tucked away in his shed

So over to Jem or is that Gem with a ‘g’

[spitfire]

You do realize, its only a vowel that differentiates Gem and Gum, maybe you just need to get in the Stable and share some Buds.

[gumbud]

well I sorta see meself as a gem of a gum actually - an asset to any Dublin hostelry - right J [G]em?

I think we have the essence of a Xmas party here for Leisurely Scribbles end of the year?

[spitfire]

Make sure the Party don’t get Political!!

[gumbud]

Jem away for Xmas then?

[Jem]

Fat chance Gummy, Jem’s been working like a dorg finishing last minute Christmas stuff for the family, no time for feckin’ around with computers, had to have two electric fires on in that stone shed, can’t wait to see me electric bill.
That’s my trouble, I promise too much and when it comes to delivering I always leave it till the last minute. Anyway it’s all done now.
I’m now in my favourite armchair relaxing with a glass on Sandemans port, a satisfied smile on me mug, and a slim panetella cigar in me hand, delightful!

[Jem]

You have a dog treat for all occasions there Fruity, I should have got my lad winged shaped treats that time he jumped out the top window, silly little bugger thought he could fly, miraculously there wasn’t a scratch on him.

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Thanks for that Moon info PS, I’ll make a note of that.

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Jaysus don’t tell me about missing socks Harbal, my misuses has me tormented every wash day, “Where’s the other sock to match this one?” “Haven’t a clue my dear”
“You see socks are supposed to be kept together when your finished with them, stick one inside the other and you’ll never lose one.”
She rams that into me head when she’s about to fill the washing machine, I have to hand it to her, she’s consistent, being saying that now for 56 years.

Like Gumbud says, every birthday, father’s day, and Christmas, all old lads get presents of socks, I even got two pairs of white ones once, imagine wearing them at 76, white socks!, the oldest Micael Jackson impersonator in town, no way Danno.
I keep telling them to get me the same colour socks, I’ll wear any colour except white, yellow, or pink, then there can’t be any odd socks missing on washing day.

Indeed I remember well me poor old granny washing and then darning heaps of socks for her three adult sons and her husband, not to mention me and me brother, all washed by hand and squeezed out in an old mangle, then she had to prepare the dinner for them when they came home from work, and later a supper, it would be well past midnight when she’d get to bed, then up at six to start another long day.

You could walk from dawn to dusk today and not find any women who’d do that today, not that I’d blame them mind you, the women then didn’t realise how hard they worked, yet they always seemed to be in good humour, bless them all.

---

Ah Peggy Lee, now there was a real woman, rest her soul.

"Peggy Lee I'm A Woman" (Original Song + Lyrics)

[spitfire]

See, just get a five multipack of Asda Socks, wash your feet everyday and put the same pair back on, dependent, day after day, on the number of paces, they will wear out, then, just bin them, and start on the next pair, no mismatches and no energy used washing them, and, most importantly, marital harmony.

Do you think I am joking?

[gumbud]

anyone got Pugs number?

[gumbud]

you’re allowed to smoke in doors then?

[spitfire]

@gumbud

anyone got Pugs number?

Anglia 90210

[Fruitcake]

Since I developed restless leg syndrome, and occassionaly get “fiery feet” I stopped wearing socks. Keeping my feets cool helps prevent the uncomfortableness of both problems, to the point where no matter how cold it is in the bedroom of a night, I stick my feets out the bed.
I also have some oinkment to rub into my legs and feets when they get really bad.

The downside is that my feets are always dirty, especially if I go outside bare footed.

Now, what about yer undercarckers? Has anyone ever tried the five week method? It’s very useful if you are going to be on your Jack Jones for extended periods.

Week one, wear your pants as normal.
Week two, turn them back to front.
Week three, turn them inside out but still back to front.
Week four, wear them the right way round but still inside out.
Week five, roll them up and wear them as a thong.

Well, the Omigod variant of Covid is ripping its way through the country and I’m convinced we are heading for another lockdown. I took the family out for an afternoon and we dropped off and picked up all the family and friends cards and presents last week lest we not be able to, or even get to the Post Orifice.

We have become totally reliant on deliveries for nearly all our needs now. We don’t go anywhere unless it’s absolutely necessary now. Apart from medicinal establishments, my Lovely Cousin has only been in our local Co-op to use the most excellent Post Orifice Facilities and a nearly local butcher’s since March of last year.
I’ve been into a couple of DIY and motoring factor shops, and a bottled gas supplier as well, but that’s about it.

Jem lad, are you familiar with the village of Enniskerry in Co Wicklow, not far south of Dublin?
To while away the dark evenings we have downloaded a load of romance films from a 24 hour Movie Channel, and have seen the lovely little place featured in three of these filums now.

[gumbud]

well in top end of Oz no real need to wear undercackers as you put it - except on rare occasions - far to sweaty in the monsoonal areas - so the lightest shorts possible - pyjamas of course have become a thing of the past also - so sleeping attire is either in the nuddy puddy or fully clothed - which with aircon is fine - but after a few days it can get sweaty peaty so the old swish with the talc brush becomes useful - change shorts - weekly /fortnightly as reqd? - I have a friend who has restless leg syndrome - seems to have travelled to oz somehow - his wife finds it quite distressing particularly during those romantic moments? For some time now I have chosen a 24 hr life style and with headphones around the house can be awake at any hr and listening to foreign news - I speak foreign but no one answers! - and watching world films of course and then sleep during the hottest time of the day as required. I do love living outside of the 9-5 bubble!

[Jem]

I see all the Nuts are back in the same basket again, basket cases indeed.
“Wear it as a thong”, no way would I wear one of those bacon slicers on me bum.

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One of the wife’s nieces is called Caroline, she looks after the chickens on the farm in Wexford, she often has nightmares, especially after hearing Neil Diamond singing in that TV ad.

“Hens, clucking hens, screeching out, crushing me, crushing you, sweet Caroline…”

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Pugs number Gummy?

If anyone had it from here I reckon it would be the sweet nurse of Hip replacement, if you follow me.

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Quote Fruitcake:
“Jem lad, are you familiar with the village of Enniskerry in Co Wicklow, not far south of Dublin?
To while away the dark evenings we have downloaded a load of romance films from a 24 hour Movie Channel, and have seen the lovely little place featured in three of these films now”.

Yes indeed I do know Enniskerry Fruity, we used to go camping in that area many years ago as boy scouts, beautiful place, haven’t been there in decades though.

I remember four of us scouts clubbed together and sent the oldest looking boy into a pub in Enniskerry village to buy a bottle of wine, for his sick granny he told the barman, of course the barman wasn’t fooled, but he saw the chance of getting rid of a mouldy old bottle of VP 2/6 plonk, he must have had it out the back in the bin because it was 10 minutes before he brought it out, 10/6 it cost us, at least Dick Turpin had the decency to wear a mask when he robbed people, 10/6 was a small fortune to us, and we were all as sick as dogs after it, I can still taste the horrible stuff and have never liked wine ever since, give me a pint of draught Guinness any day.

Enniskerry Village.

[spitfire]

Lovely photo, normal service has been resumed.

[spitfire]

Was a Drone involved?

[gumbud]

you are the drone ! or is that brmm brmm brmm - in Nippon language of course!