I think it’s high time I stopped intruding into other real poetic threads in the leisure and pastime section and begin a thread of my own for the less poetically talented where I can dump all me rubbish.
A pastime of mine is to scribble down anything that comes into my head depending on how I feel at the time (All within the rules of course) and it’s not fair to do it on someone else’s doorstep, so fare de well my talented friends and I shall be dropping in every so often to enjoy your poems and writings.
All are very welcome.
Oh to have a little place along the forum road
where I could reside and lay down my casual load
A story here or a silly poem there
bits and pieces going nowhere.
I’m tired of butting in on old RJ’s
despite the kind words he says
T’is not fair nor a nice thing to do
I do apologise to you.
Serious things give me no pleasure
I like to scribble at my leisure
So if you feel the same
please come and join me at my game.
In the past or present tense
doesn’t have to make any sense
be it a poem or just a letter
All are welcome the sillier the better.
AHA! A thread that is a poetry test.
Ok,I’ll have a bash and give it my best.
Although my spelling’s not much and nor is my grammar.
[So I h-hope it d-doesn’t b-bring out my stammer]
'Coz poetry,well,it’s not a thing I can do.
Because,multi-syllabics,hmm-I know very few.
Usually this keyboard and I-we just fight.
Because words come out wrong,though they started out right.
I think it’s this ‘qwerty’,it doesn’t like me.
I have less fingers than normal,y’see.
So invariably [ooh look; a multi-thing word!]
What I think will make sense will just end up absurd.
So I sit and type things that make sense in my mind
Which via fingers and keyboard so often I find
Have changed their veracity and often their spelling
So,what WILL I type next? With THESE hands,there’s no telling!
Thank you Meg, Donna, Pug, and Gumbud, great to hear your poetic thoughts, now the ice is broken don’t be strangers here, we can all do with a bit of letting your hair down time, if you haven’t got any hair buy a wig and fling it in the air.
I have a schizophrenic friend who seldom talks to me
he’s too busy chatting to himself his time is never free
One night I saw him through his window, he was lying on the floor
half of him was fast asleep the other staring at the door.
I asked him was he lonely living all alone
“No,I have a friend I call up on the phone”
Just then his phone rang, “Hello, is that me?
“No, it’s you, don’t forget our date at three.
Right-these are just thoughts,so don’t think I’m bitter.
But,I don’t ‘do’ Facebook,or understand Twitter.
Instagram’s something about pictures,I’ve heard,
and as for ‘Selfies’-oh blimey-aren’t they just absurd!
There I am,feeling smug for avoiding the hype
When suddenly I get told “Hey Pug-let’s Skype!”`
My answer I won’t repeat-you’d just go pale.
But ffs-I’ve only just mastered email!
I’m a yokel,a carrot-cruncher,a chewer of pencils.
I’ve no wish for an ebook or a ‘tablet’ with stencils.
E M Forster & Hemmingway must spin in their graves
To see how much e-porn and e-war depraves.
Everyone’s a warrior-that C.O.D crap.
Or stuck to their keyboards going ‘fap-fap-fap-fap’.
Oh,how I miss that long-lost era when
my idea of REAL progress…was a cartridge ink pen!
But what puts the boot in,
PROVING our downward trail;
Is that - to become a SUCCESS on the net…
When I was a lad I was told by my dad
how to differ a friend from a cad
no need in magic to dabble
it can be done with a simple apple
Cut it through and leave one side thick
then ask your friend to take his pick
if he takes the biggest one
then your friendship is truly gone.
The oldest trick in the book but it is a fair test even today, create a situation where you say you have only one apple left and you insist on sharing it so you cut it in half, well not quite half, the best way is to make the difference hardly noticeable but noticeable all the same, if he/she picks the larger bit of apple it will give you a fair idea of the nature of that person. Pity it can’t be done on a dating site for instance, might save a lot of heartache for some in the long run. Go on be honest, which bit would you pick?
Oh,Jem-need you ask?
My chin hit the floor.
I’d leave YOU the apple
I’d just take the core.
The reason? Well you’re a lady,y’see.
Etiquette’s always been important to me.
Though I do have a motive-I’ll plant the seeds over there.
Then there’ll always be apples,for real friends to share!
You ARE? Oh-what a waste of my charm!
For a short while I thought about chancing my arm.
For a chance of romance,with a lady of grace…
…then you go and throw THAT in my face!
So now here I sit,saddened by this mishap.
Coz the girl of my dreams-is a big hairy chap!
Oh Pug, much that I love your poetry