Older OFF members might remember my first driving incident before the lockdown where I stupidly stuck my tongue out at another driver because he was mean to me…anyway that resulted in me being followed for about 2 miles before I took refuge in a local supermarket which he (the other driver) thought was hilarious
Anyway that aside …I have to admit I lost some confidence driving over lockdown but I’ve been brave and started getting in the car again and it’s been great…apart from yesterday.
I parked in a local supermarket car park right next to a bay of disabled bays…the bay I parked in was a normal bay with no disabled sign. Off I went to do my shopping then I returned to put some parcels in the car before going into the main supermarket for groceries…thats when it happened.
This woman came striding up to me…jabbing her finger in my face she said you don’t look very disabled…I’m not I replied this isn’t a disabled bay…it is she insisted very aggressively I thought she might hit me she was so annoyed…I tried to reason with her but she was having none of it shouting at me it was uncaring people like me who made her life difficult…anyway I said look I’ll move the car so you will see for yourself there isn’t a disabled bay which I did and sure enough there were no disabled signs it was just a normal bay…at which she just marched off no apology nothing…as for me I was too upset to bother shopping I just came home
wow, sorry that happened to you, summer. That’s terrible.
No excuse for that poor behavior, but I wonder if she was disabled and thought you took her space. From your story, it doesn’t sound like she was disabled, just aggressive. [Reading it again, it does sound like she might have been disabled since she said that people who parked in disabled bays were making her life difficult.] Still not OK for her to do.
l think she was saying she was entitled to disabled parking and I wasn’t…I know all disability isn’t always visible but she could have knocked me out with one punch and she strode off at breakneck speed so I’m not sure what her disability was
Summer It is sad that some people lay the blame at the wrong people’s doors, but I find that people are more aggressive now and don’t know how to have a civilized disagreement!
I feel that all disabled bays should be placed together in a convenient section of the car park with a sign that says " Blue badge owners only" to avoid unpleasant outbursts!
Perhaps you should mention the incident to the Supermarket manager, and ask him how it should be dealt with…seeing as you were upset and not in the mood to do your shopping, so left!
On the very rare occasion I encounter such an aggressive person, I always set my little Nokia (it’s non-smart) to voice record and the if the incident does escalate, I have a transcription of what was said and by whom. However, at my height and build (6’ 5" and well built like the proverbial out-house) when I get out of my Pathfinder and stand up straight, most people back right off and leave muttering to themselves. I think all such incidents should be recorded and then if the police do become involved, they can hear everything that was said prior to their arrival. I also have fore & aft cameras if the police need photographic records.
Thats the confusing thing Twink…the disabled bays are clearly marked it was as if she was being deliberately difficult for no reason…I don’t think the supermarket were in the wrong…maybe her disability if she had one was a mental issue…thats my conclusion anyway.
It’s funny, I started a new business being a tongue photographer, just before lockdown i saw this lady in the next car, she looked at me and stuck her tongue out, well it was perfect for my next project, so I followed her with the intention of asking her to model for me, unfortunately I lost her in a supermarket car park, sad really , I could have made a lot of money…
I have noticed that a parking bay, next to disabled ones has white lines , rather than the yellow ones for disabled people.
Many disabled people just assume that , if it is next to a disable spot then that spot must be for disabled parking too.
When people get aggressive it can be worrying or upsetting & the only way to deal with it is to get a member of staff to assist.
I had a similar situation on the town car park, but the person who questioned whether I was allowed to park there wasn’t aggressive, so I just said " I am parked between white lines, but you are entitled to park on the ones with Yellow lines" and he replied " Sorry I thought all this row were disabled parking"
No matter what the problem is, aggression is not the way to deal with it.
Always get somebody to help because some people get so angry you dont know if they may hurt you!
An inability to deal normally with every day normality is as much a disability as anything else & it sounds like she needs support from a mental health professional.
Hitting some in the throat is not advised, unless a manslaughter / murder charge appeals.
Out of your 5 fingers, (thumb included.) If you bend the middle finger in slightly, so all three middle fingers are level & then push them under someone’s adams apple, you do not need any real pressure to stop them breathing. Edited to add. The knuckle of your middle finger pushes the chin up & holds it there, making it impossible for them to pull back, as they automatically move their head up & back. Just a flexing of the fingers is all that is needed to stop breathing when ever you require it. It is a very efficient & impressive looking method of taking total control of someone. No pain, no effort & the very worst thing they can do is grab your hand, as all you need to do is move your fingers to stop them breathing & have them arms out stretched & complying. And total compliance is guaranteed.
It takes a little practice to get right every time. But that & a method that involves someomes thumb & elbow & leaves them standing beside you & complying due to the pain that is so easily inflicted if you lift their elbow or flex their thumb. Served me well as a bar/night club etc door man in my younger years.
The idea was to be in 100% control, without looking like you had tried, without having to straighten your suit out afterwards.
I wasn’t posting the recollection as a - recommendation. He was a 5’5 psychopot. I was simply advising good & tall men re the dangers of muscular short chaps.
In about 1975 my dad demonstrated the ‘galloping goolie grip.’ I’ve not seen it referenced anywhere in any pro-publications or websites.
Sorry @OP I’m drifting from your horrible event. It’s impossible for anybody to ‘instant assess’ a person in a car park as regards to their disabilities. You might have replied ‘I am emotionally unstable personality disordered, actually, on day release from my medium secure unit.’ I’d say that next time.
Sorry about your problem Summer, perhaps as you say, she had a mental problem or maybe even been drinking?
However, I cannot imagine the above suggestions of “grinding your heel in her foot” or “kicking the ankle” of a disabled person would go down too well in the eyes of the law if witnesses called the Cops, let alone “going for the throat!”
I think Swim gets a bit over-excited. You can’t go round attacking people because of a purely verbal argument!
Put it behind you gal, it’s done now, and it was her fault entirely, not yours.
You are home safe and unscathed, which you may not have been had you attacked her, and that’s what matters most. x
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