I think he’s having a mid-life crisis and is pissed that he’s getting older. He started being short, dismissive and nasty to me this summer. He said that he’s depressed because he can’t do the things he used to be able to since he’s getting older and the Lyme’s disease makes his joints hurt. I thought he was cheating on me but he doesn’t go anywhere too long and he has other issues so I would be very surprised if that’s what it was.
That, and we moved to another state with better weather due to his health issues. (his idea!) He wanted to move again this summer because he says there’s too many people around here who are shooting his deer and turkey and the fishing is bad. We can’t afford to move anywhere else right now.
I finally talked him out of that but he is still unhappy. Idk what realy the cause. I feel like he’s lying but he swears he not.
Oh dear, it does sound as if he’s very down and depressed, are you sure he’s not got another health issue he’s not telling you about?
You don’t deserve someone being dismissive and nasty to you and do deserve some fun and kindness in your life though
I don’t know how to help and it’s obvious that not being interested in your anniversary is quite a small symptom of a much bigger problem
I think perhaps you can only keep trying to talk to him, be kind and generous because he’s clearly very unhappy and perhaps try to get him to see a doctor for the depression?
And in the meantime take care of yourself, make sure you get some “me” time and do things you can enjoy
Have a virtual hug from me and take care xxx
First off, I thank you for the reply. It’s nice that someone actually read my post and took the time to reply instead of making me feel like all of this is somehow my fault being a woman (like churches do). You know, we’re not supposed to age, lose interest in sex, get tired, sick, have a melt-down or anything that inconveniences them. Even though he and I make the same amount of money in pension and disability…and neither one of us work, his unhappiness is probably my fault in some way. sarcasm!
The therapist idea wouldn’t work. Unfortunately, to him, going to a therapist is a sign of weakness. Men are supposed to be able to handle their own crap and not succumb to emotions. (his words) Oh, what else did he say? A therapist or talking to someone like a friend isn’t going to fix the housing market and make more deer come in or the fish start biting! SMH
As far as him being nasty, I’ve straight up told him, don’t ask me anything in a nasty tone if you expect an answer. Because how to talk to someone is exactly how you feel about them. He denies everything…they all do. I’m just so tired of it that it’s starting to affect my health but I’m too tired and sick to do anything about it.
Anyway, thanks for the reply and hug. I needed it.
I know it would wear me out if I had to plan everything. I have to do that sometimes with my birthday. Like where do you want to go, call in and order or get all the information etc. Now an anniversary since it’s for the both of you, it should be the same effort…working together and planning together. My husband and I try to plan something that we both enjoy. We both love history and museums so last year we went to the Creation and Ark museum. It was fun for both of us. Afterwards we would chill on our computer or phones as we wind down. But for the most part we try to do things we both enjoy.
Don’t do to start “Thrill” seeking later on in life, it always causes trouble 
In the words of the great BB King…the thrill is gone, spitfire. lol!