Is It Bad I Don't GAF About Our Anniversary?

We take no notice now. We’re happy to keep ignoring each other in the same environment. Don’t know if that would be different if we were able to get out more. Maybe so.

I am not surprised you don’t want to go anywhere ,
Don’t settle for this go and do something exciting by yourself !
Go on an adventure holiday ,hiking , riding climbing .
Or do some residential course somewhere ,something you like .
Where there are others who will talk to you
Why waste time and money having a boring time .

PS that’s a beautiful dog you have there .
I have had three Doberman in my life .
I loved them all dearly

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Thank you. She is 7 months old and consumes my entire day. I adopted her because my other dog passed last year. I’ve always wanted a Doberman! They’re so beautiful, sleek and majestic, like they should be guarding royalty! She is so smart and amazing…well, you know how they are. lol
She’s my only friend. I don’t socialize or have any friends nearby being a nerd and introvert.
I’d love to move to Florida where my other friends are, but hubs couldn’t stand that heat. The dog would love it though! Maybe I’ll buy an RV and find me a little plot somewhere just for me and the dog when she’s older. lol
I have a dream now. Running off to Florida with my dog!

After I get some bills paid off, that is. lol

OGF, you sound like a couple straight out of a Lifetime/Hallmark movie. lol
Seriously, I’m happy for you that you have something special. It’s nice to know people like this exist out there and cherish their partners.

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Yes, we do too Mr Foxy. Us time if you like.


Thanks AFLady, we have our ups and downs, but I find that the downs only seem to appear when we are at home and one of us gets stressed. Sometimes this bungalow isn’t big enough for the both of us, and we all need some space at times…x

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I always ask the wife what she wants to do for anniversary and take it from there. Usually its get dressed up and go for a fancy meal, drive to London to see a show. Last year it was sit at home and have a Chinese. Whatever, all anniversaries must be accompanied with the mandatory card and flowers.


Well said Graham…Absolutely…

Been married 47 years tomorrow and TBH will be surprised if husband even remembers. I book all our holidays and in the last few years have paid for them as well.

He has never booked a meal, holiday, outing as a surprise. It’s just not him.

Last year I booked and paid for a trip on The Northern Belle train which was great but I think I could have gone for a week in Spain for what it cost.

I don’t think he’s going to change his ways now.

Do you think being in a second marriage means that it will take longer before I feel like this? :rofl::rofl: I certainly hope so!

I love being with him wherever it is, and we certainly don’t ignore each other, that would make us both cry :rofl:

I don’t think it’s wrong that you don’t GAF, but I do think it’s terribly sad, when did you start to give up?

Do you intend to carry on together like that until the end, not enjoying each others company or plans? :anguished:

If you can’t find any joy together, then I’d definitely be wondering about staying together

But if circumstances mean you must, then you definitely need to find some joy and fun elsewhere

(And I’m not talking about sex here, you dirty minded lot!)


Nothing wrong with wanting to do something on anniversaries. Nothing wrong if not. It just has to be a genuine mutual feeling. We have often said that a happy relationship is being able to sit comfortably together without feeling a need to keep talking or be demonstrative. This applied even when we were younger and more capable of marking an anniversary . Life was certainly full of fun at many other times. It’s what is called being well-suited I suppose and perhaps that’s the important thing.


It didn’t even enter my mind Maree…

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As predicted, husband forgot it was our wedding anniversary. (Despite it being on the kitchen calendar).

He went off to work and came back with a bottle of Malibu for me.

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Happy Anniversary Rose… :mini: Are you dancing?

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I think he’s having a mid-life crisis and is pissed that he’s getting older. He started being short, dismissive and nasty to me this summer. He said that he’s depressed because he can’t do the things he used to be able to since he’s getting older and the Lyme’s disease makes his joints hurt. I thought he was cheating on me but he doesn’t go anywhere too long and he has other issues so I would be very surprised if that’s what it was.
That, and we moved to another state with better weather due to his health issues. (his idea!) He wanted to move again this summer because he says there’s too many people around here who are shooting his deer and turkey and the fishing is bad. We can’t afford to move anywhere else right now.
I finally talked him out of that but he is still unhappy. Idk what realy the cause. I feel like he’s lying but he swears he not.

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Oh dear, it does sound as if he’s very down and depressed, are you sure he’s not got another health issue he’s not telling you about?

You don’t deserve someone being dismissive and nasty to you and do deserve some fun and kindness in your life though

I don’t know how to help and it’s obvious that not being interested in your anniversary is quite a small symptom of a much bigger problem

I think perhaps you can only keep trying to talk to him, be kind and generous because he’s clearly very unhappy and perhaps try to get him to see a doctor for the depression?

And in the meantime take care of yourself, make sure you get some “me” time and do things you can enjoy

Have a virtual hug from me and take care xxx


First off, I thank you for the reply. It’s nice that someone actually read my post and took the time to reply instead of making me feel like all of this is somehow my fault being a woman (like churches do). You know, we’re not supposed to age, lose interest in sex, get tired, sick, have a melt-down or anything that inconveniences them. Even though he and I make the same amount of money in pension and disability…and neither one of us work, his unhappiness is probably my fault in some way. sarcasm!

The therapist idea wouldn’t work. Unfortunately, to him, going to a therapist is a sign of weakness. Men are supposed to be able to handle their own crap and not succumb to emotions. (his words) Oh, what else did he say? A therapist or talking to someone like a friend isn’t going to fix the housing market and make more deer come in or the fish start biting! SMH

As far as him being nasty, I’ve straight up told him, don’t ask me anything in a nasty tone if you expect an answer. Because how to talk to someone is exactly how you feel about them. He denies everything…they all do. I’m just so tired of it that it’s starting to affect my health but I’m too tired and sick to do anything about it.

Anyway, thanks for the reply and hug. I needed it.


I know it would wear me out if I had to plan everything. I have to do that sometimes with my birthday. Like where do you want to go, call in and order or get all the information etc. Now an anniversary since it’s for the both of you, it should be the same effort…working together and planning together. My husband and I try to plan something that we both enjoy. We both love history and museums so last year we went to the Creation and Ark museum. It was fun for both of us. Afterwards we would chill on our computer or phones as we wind down. But for the most part we try to do things we both enjoy.

Don’t do to start “Thrill” seeking later on in life, it always causes trouble :icon_wink:

In the words of the great BB King…the thrill is gone, spitfire. lol!