I sometimes make posts like this one simply because it is in my head when I awaken.
Why not share life experiences?
I was raised in a loveless family
This meant I never developed familial feelings.
As a result, I had trouble developing trust and empathy.
Closeness and intimacy were not possible. I stayed remote from everyone and as a result most of my life I have been alone.
That does not mean I am lonely, aloneness is my life and I have learnt to live with it.
I am fascinated by the reactions of people when family members and friends die.
Because emotional attachment is not a part of my makeup, the death of people means nothing to me.
I simply say, “I knew them, they are no more.”
Has this stunted my development?
Some would say yes, I say, "I have come to love the person I have become and I do not need people in my life.
Understandable Bretrick. I think women are more family minded then men generally speaking. They are the ones that give birth so naturally get more attached.
In he 1940/50 having a family was more of less the accepted way of life. 2 childen one a boy and the other a girl. When I was born in the mid 1940,s it was accepted children were more seen than heard. My own parents looked after us as more of a duty than anything. As you say it tends to make one more singular
I was raised in a family with an alcoholic father, a sadistic mother and 4 peers.
Nothing but fighting and animosity.
It took me to age 26 to flee the environment.
I am okay today and treasure my aloneness.
No. We all fled the family home and never kept in contact.
My eldest brother died of alcohol induced brain damage age 32.
No idea where the others are and after all this time have no inclination to try to find them.
I’ve wondered often how some people have really lovely happy and content lives . Ive met them , great loving supporting parents and into adult life they marry kind partners and live lives happily together . Of course they have problems but together they sort it and have each other to lean on . Life has its difficulties. Its not like this for some if not many . My life has been a roller coaster since childhood and its been so hard at times to survive. Im glad to be the age i am as i hope I’ve come through the worst. I’m happy being alone but it can be hard coping . Ive never had support or people to help and ive had to learn how to have a strong back . Im a natural empath and i care deeply and have always helped others , i guess its because i dont like seeing suffering.
My mom was an angry abusive raging witch & a racist who hated everybody who wasn’t the same religion or color. People who know me have told me they’re surprised at how nice I am when most people with that type of upbringing become abusive adults. I always say, “I made a point of not becoming my parents.” They unknowingly taught me what type of person NOT to be.
My mom had four kids. When her first (arranged) marriage was annulled, she abandoned her 6-month-old daughter in another country (Israel).
When our mom died, none of her kids attended her funeral; we were too busy enjoying the moment.
I can understand that … some people might say you need to mend bridges, they are afterall blood kin.
But no … unless you feel a ‘gap’ or like something is missing as long as you’re happy in the knowledge that you are better and happier without them,so be it.
There are after all many true friends in life , sometimes you meet people who you instantly click with who are better than any family member.
Or you’re a natural loner though you are one of the friendliest people on this forum.
Very kind of you to say so.
I did try to find my younger brother a decade ago. No luck though.
Australia is such a vast country there really was no chance. I will not try again.
No need to.
I can relate to this.
When my father died it was the happiest day of my life up to that point.
I have no idea about my mother. With no contact through 50+ years she has never been on my mind.
If she was still alive, she would be 97.
I would say that I am also the product of a loveless family. My Father was an alcoholic abuser (among many other things) and my Mother was without any sense of wanting, in that I was largely ignored in life as I grew up. There was little in terms of affection or interest in anything concerning me - at least for the most part, although the situation gradually changed when my Father decided to leave home, leaving thousands of pounds of debts for me to pick up, not long having started work. (Very long story here).
Basically, I had to bring myself up, at least for the most part, at that has left an indelible stain on me in many ways, both emotionally and physically - having both scars and a bone deformity to back it up with.
for you