How does a person live alone and not get lonely?

I am a new user so apparently I can’t yet post images, but if I could, I would have posted a meme of Robin Williams stating the following: I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.

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They told me.

That is definitely one way to do it. A change of one’s perceptions, a change of attitude.
Life is what you make it. Get out there and do what it is you want to do.

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I love this. I hope this will do for now.

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The beauty is, when you find a person who “does” understand you, and they sick around regardless.

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I think it’s good to keep busy and have a lot of interests.

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Yes. Never allow the thought of being lonely to germinate or fester.
There are always things we can do.

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I’m too busy to be bored, or lonely. If I feel like talking to someone I’ll take the dog out. We usually then meet someone who she wants to say hello to, or vice versa, so I will then do idle chit chat with the human. I have her, I have my allotment, I go out on shopping trips, I have my Tuesday cafe friends. I have my siblings at the end of a phone and may call one, just to hear a comforting voice.

If I have Holly, plenty of books and decent stuff on the telly (and with Prime video and Netflix am spoilt for choice) I’m happy and content.

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There is so much we can do, no need to be lonely or bored. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Yes I remember being very lonely when I moved into a new life at 53, first time I had ever lived alone , first time I had to think of myself and not put other people first , the first time with just myself to talk to . I busied myself working 3 jobs and early to bed . My first Easter weekend bank holiday 4 long long days watching others with family. It took a long while for me to realise that being with people actually didn’t stop the loneliness as while with them I knew I had to return to living with just me . It was a sad journey and I thought it would always be so . Slowly as years went by I actually realised I liked being with myself , it was OK. It’s now 20 years since those difficult days , I like my alone life, in fact if a friend comes to stay I love that time but am pleased when my life returns to just me again .

But I do feel for those who are lonely it’s an awful feeling

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People aren’t going to knock on your door. You have to get out there .
Making friends is hard work you need to put effort into it.
That’s what I’ve found since moving .

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As the years pass we learn that alone time is precious.
Everyone needs quiet time and the years have shown us what we enjoy doing.
I value my alone time. I am still in the workforce doing ten hour shifts.
Getting home to my quiet place is bliss.

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So true.
Like when people say, “I’m bored”.
If one makes an effort to do something then boredom disappears.
But an effort must be made.

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I never get lonely.
I know a few people who have never married and live alone,they seem to have projects going on all of the time,and they have a better social life than i do.

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Yup!!!

You feel that the person is dealing with lots of things but when you look at them, you feel boundaries. There’s blockages. You look at them but there’s emptiness.

You’re always questioning whether they like you or not. This in the last five years of their lives. You don’t understand the bitterness that wasn’t there before.

In the last outing together, you’ve felt a reaching out, but stopping themselves from telling what was really in their heart.

When the end did come all you were left with was answered questions that’ll never be answered and due to this you’re left broken down…

It’s a year later, there’s been eye opening moments and they’ll probably be more…

I’m weary of a new connection but I miss the very first few years where there was fun, laughter, love and affection. After 5 years of mourning the loss of our son, I was looking for a reconnection but the wall was too thick.

So, at the end of the day, I’m lonely for love and adventure. I was hoping but destiny changed that and now I’ve to heal…

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I never feel lonely when on my own only when I am with a group of people and then I feel like the ‘outsider’ . It has always been that way, I guess it may be something to do with my childhood and being moved around between different relations when my mother died. Next year I will have been a widow for 40 years and alone since my son left home 25 years ago .
I love being on my own, I guess I was one of the lucky ones, when isolating as a vulnerable person during Covid I didn’t mind it at all.

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Meg, it’s great having folks around so one can really appreciate being alone sometimes, you have to thank life for giving you the best of both worlds.

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40 years is a long time to be a widow.
Do you hear from your son?
Same with me when Covid restrictions were put in place. I never noticed any difference except the mandatory mask wearing in supermarkets.

@Bretrick
Hi Bretrick :slightly_smiling_face: , I see my son about once a week , I like to be independent and don’t want him to feel he has to be there for me all the time.

Hello @Meg, I am pleased you and your son get along just fine.
I hear of many parents are estranged from their children. Which must be a very sad situation.
Keep enjoying life Megs, as I do :slightly_smiling_face:

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