Do what politicians do and give them the answer to a different question. such as “the bank’s air conditioning system seems to be very chilly these days” or “Interest rates are so high, it’s a wonder anyone bothers to get finance these days”.
Or sideways sweep the answer - if they ask about finances say “I am really pleased that you asked me about that because it has reminded me I have to go to the bank! byee!”
The third tactic would be to answer the question with another question. Such as “I am so glad you asked me that - can you give me some advice on the best interest rates/mortgate/insurance policy?” They will soon learn to avoid you
it’s human nature. It gives them something to talk about to everyone they meet. I am terrible at asking questions when I meet people then I realise I know nothing about some people. I find out everything from friends who ask questions all the time. A lot of people communicate like this all the time because they have found that many others are delighted to talk about themselves. They may be totally disinterested in the answer, moving onto the next question before you even finish.
So 9 out of 10 people who do this don’t mean to cause offence and 1% are malicious gossips who will use the information against to given the opportunity.
They talk about other people’s personal business that some people didn’t want to divulge? Still anathema to me.
Wouldn’t it be more interesting to talk about something the two participants have in common, not some random thing that has nothing to do with either of them?
The people that I know who do this are excellent networkers. They link people with other people. It is not always unhelpful. Just a bit annoying if they are not very skilled at the way they do it.
It’s the 1 in 10 who do this maliciously that I have a problem with. I have some sort of built in radar that can detect them. They are usually insincerely, overly friendly.
In a professional setting, networking makes sense. In that context, the questions have more meaning.
The people I’m talking about aren’t networking in a professional sense. The questions they ask don’t translate in a professional setting or even a transactional setting.
It’s more like small talk but with a more judgemental twist and with a more demanding questioning. If you ask why they’re asking, there’s never a good answer, like they can’t recommend someone to help with your issue.
I’ve found that most people I put in the busybody category don’t have an answer. They just get defensive.
The answers are normally, ‘I’m just asking’ with a nasty tone or ‘you don’t have to answer’ with a haughty tone, or ‘can’t I just ask a question?’ to which my honest answer is no.
I have to admit that I’m not super interested in asking about a busybody’s life. That could end in an earful and a headache for me.
We have an old lady in the cafe who is actually alienating some of the others with her blunt questions. And she can be rude too. Asking me if I can afford a new bathroom/stairlift, do I have the funds. I just said ‘yes thanks’. She asked me how many bedrooms were in the house of the cafe owner. I replied ‘I don’t ask such questions’.
any bloke asking such personal questions is likely to get a bloody nose. Such madness in the female sector seems to be, well, somehow more understandable.
It all depends on who is asking and if they are just trying to be friendly in their own weird way Butterscotch. I usually just make something up, but everyone who knows me, knows that I’m a bit of a joker…With friends or neighbours it’s usually because they just had a big bill or perhaps a comparison thing. They are more likely to get the truth if they go first, but most people round here have got more brass than me with their Lexus’s and Tesla’s, so I don’t mind telling them…Even though really, I might have more money than them but am more frugal…
That’s great. Do you ever get repercussions for not answering?
I’m watching two shows, Elementary and The Good Doctor. Both have protagonists who don’t answer frivolous or self-serving questions. Both have been penalized for being considered socially awkward. The people around them who lie effortlessly are considered more socially skilled. The plots of both shows are sometimes about the irony of that. There are moments when “socially skilled” [liars] take advantage of people they think will go along with them to be seen as socially acceptable.
