Yes it might to those who are left behind
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I have a will. My sister and her eldest daughter are my joint executors and I keep my sister informed of everything.
A friend and a neighbour each have a key to my house, with the friend (who is also a neighbour) always keeping an eye on me.
I have stipulated burial, no cremation, and have paid for a plot in a woodland burial ground near me.
I have asked for no funeral. Anyone wanting a wake afterwards can prepare that in their own time and wherever they choose.
I have appointed two people to be guardians for Holly if she outlives me. My niece is one, and could arrange transfer to the other person. There is money set aside in my will for her continuing care.
But saying all that, I really have no plans to depart just yet!!
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How will they know?
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Have you already disassociated from your own body? 
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We have wills. My son has wilfully become estranged for over a decade now. He showed no interest in his grandmother’s recent death nor funeral. He has also shown no interest in any of our wellbeing (including operations/necessary hospitalisations over the years). I saw him briefly a couple of years ago at which time he said he wanted nothing to do with his potential inheritance.
We’ve delayed things as much as possible, but are coming round to making sure he and his female partner have no access to anything.
Naturally, this may change if he comes back unto the fold. But his potential inheritance isn’t just “our” earnings/investments, but include his grandparents.
Tough!!
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That’s such a shame Dex. Do you have any grandchildren?
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Dex’s situation isn’t that unusual, across the road from us is an elderly couple, they have one Son, we came here 30 years ago and at that time, the son was dating his to be future wife. There was some sort of fall out at the wedding around that year, and started the subsequent estrangement, there is at least one grandchild involved, gawd only knows what is going to happen to the elderly couples estate
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@Dextrous63 Sorry to hear that. I understand how difficult this must be. You’ve done what you can, and it’s reasonable to make decisions that protect your peace of mind.
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My brother has nothing to do with his three grown up children, and I had a devil of a job wording my will, and making numerous changes, to exclude them from my estate, should he die soon after me. I had to explain fully why I shouldn’t leave them anything. This all came about when my sister died and I had to ensure her four children got her share! Flipping heck, they did well out of her house sale.
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make sure you have a good solicitor to ensure your son can’t challenge that
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Good advice. Over here, he could well do that since complete disinheritance is practically impossible. If they "didn’t steal any silver spoons " from the cupboard, a child is entitled to their compulsory share of 25 to 50%.
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I heard that a small amount should be left to a disinherited family member just to show they hadn’t been forgotten.
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Thank you for your advice. I will get a good solicitor. My limited research indicates that a specific set of reasons needs to be given to ensure no inheritance is to be given.
Not looking forward to doing this. My wife will take it hard too!
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I use a will writing service, and they have my documents. We spoke at length on the phone, and as stated above, had to give specific reasons why my nieces and nephew won’t get anything. The statements had to be written on a separate sheet of paper, that is held alongside the will, just not in it.
My sister knows my wishes.
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I have the reasons that they are not in my life, estranged from their father and not financially dependent on me.
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What about you LPA
The thing to do is to specifically write the child out of the will, with the reasons why . Do take care though it can still cause trouble amongst family members.
As one of four stepchildren I was written out of my stepfathers will, and my elder brother inherited nearly half a million quid in 2000. It was alleged I had told my stepfather I didn’t want any inheritance.
Everyone should bear in mind that a will lodged at a solicitors can be made redundant by a will found in a box file under the bed or on a computer. I think one day the law is going to have to address that and introduce some safeguards.
As for myself with no kids everything is straightforward. Neither Mr M or myself are religious or are bothered about funerals. I have told him to stick me on the council tip rather than be prosecuted for fly tipping.
Seriously though, one of those no-frills cremations will do me.
I think now people are living longer, but are not necessarily healthy longer, a great many people worry more over dementia and other debilitating illnesses and the draining financial cost of care or the thought of an unsatisfying miserable existence.
I shall pick my moment when I feel the time is due and do the necessary. I must remember to warn Mr M so he has a good alibi.
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Interesting to read how parents react to their children’s estrangement. In most cases shared here, parents felt that it should have certain consequences. Sometimes, however , this may not be possible.
My SIL decided to move to southern France at the age of forty, not because of a job opportunity but simply because she could afford it and had always wanted to do that. Although her retired parents were getting on in years , she didn’t see them for thirteen years before paying a whistle-stop visit on her way to another place. Afterwards she stayed away for another ten years during which her father passed away without her feeling a need to attend the funeral. During all those years, she left it to my wife (and me) to look after her parents.
Nonetheless, when it comes to inheritance , she will get exactly the same share of 50 percent as my wife and that is because her parents wrote their joint last will too early, i.e., twenty years ago. Now it can’t be altered even though my MIL would like to. Such a provision was made because my in-laws wanted to ensure that the surviving spouse gets priority over their children and b) any new partner wouldn’t get anything. My wife and I won’t do the same as such a stipulation basically puts the partner who dies first at an advantage by ensuring that their last will can never be changed even if the spouse lives many years longer and circumstances have changed. Flexibility is key.
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Strange how it turns out isn’t it …
My mum was a widow with 4 kids who remarried a chap who was a widower and he had no kids.
They made a joint will together when they married agreeing that her four kids, myself included, would inherit after the sole survivor between them had finally died.
My mum died first. This left my stepfather with 4 step kids to inherit when he eventually died.
Unfortunately he made a will leaving it all to the eldest stepchild, my eldest brother.
It caused no end of trouble between us.
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