“Never waste time, I wasted time now time is wasting me” I forget where I read that.
There was a man in Dublin back in 1959 who claimed he found the body of a dead Leprechaun, he sold a photo of it to the press then opened up the parlour of his little house to the public to view the ‘Corpse’ lying in a tiny coffin on a small round table in the centre of the room, he had it dressed in the usual Leprechaun garb and he charged a shilling in, no one was allowed to touch it, you just walked in and once around the table then out again, busy roundabout style. Crowds came from all over the City to see the Leprechaun and he made a tidy sum at the time, then the police stepped in and ruined it all, after examination the ‘Leprechaun’ turned out to be an unusually shaped Mushroom. I remembered reading that story back then and thought what a shame it wasn’t a real Leprechaun.
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what a shame he didn’t make MORE money from those gullible people and what the hell have the police got to do with it he was running a legitimate home business which would aid the countries budget!
My wife keeps putting Hellmann’s Mayonnaise on my meals, I’ve grown to hate the stuff but I am in dread of offending her good nature so I just smile and say “Delicious darling” as she looms over me at the table. You see that’s the trouble in our house, if you make the mistake of once saying you like something you will keep getting it until it comes out your ears.
I once went for a job in an advertising agency, a reputable company and they were looking for an honest man. I was asked to compose a test slogan and I wrote “Hellmann’s makes your meals Hell” I was dumped out the door and that was the end of my advertising career, all I was doing was being honest, who said it pays to be honest?;-)
Talking about jobs Gumbud, on the level now, I remember my Uncle had an application form for a job in the UK as a Prison Officer, they were running an ad in the Irish papers looking for candidates back in the 1950’s, I was only a kid at the time but he showed me the form, one question baffled me and still does, it was sandwiched in the middle of the other questions and it was simply “Are you fond of Money?” They wanted a straight yes or no answer. Anyway he found work here and didn’t bother finishing the form. What would be the idea of a question like that I ask you in your wisdom? Surely everyone is fond of money otherwise why would they want the job?
well having had a thing or two to do with questionnaires over the years I would say that in the 50’s they were simple and obvious - this question is a trick question that some smart alec thought up - if you answered YES they would either dismiss you out of hand or interrogate you further - if they had asked 'do you value money then YES is acceptable but are you ‘fond’ leans towards ‘love’ of money or ‘addicted’ to money. what was that old biblical saying - it is not money that is evil but the LOVE of money that is evil.
can you leave four and tuppence in the offertory box next time you pass ta!
Anusol is good for bags under the eyes
It’s true enough and no surprise
Although its for those awful piles
It’s better for bags by miles and miles
And though a condition like haemorrhoids
Is something most folks would normally avoid
Its useful to know that when your piles have shrunk
The remains of the tube are not just junk
They can be reused to look good
Give it a try. I know I would
Once I was fond of Money, I had Money Bags under my Eyes, I realised it was time to Change. It is hard becoming a Prison Officer, I am told, if you are burdened by clink-as.
Ah thanks for that Gumbud, knew you’d know the answer.
I’m broke at the moment, but remember that if you are not rewarded in this life you certainly will be in the next, I hope you can draw some comfort from that my Son, In Nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti amen.
Only a brilliant salesman could sell ‘Shares in Heaven’ I thought but it’s nothing new, I came across this little piece and found it amusing, talk about having a neck as tough as Lester Piggot’s arse.
Shares in Heaven (1912) "Sharon, Pa. — For issuing stock certificates good for a certain number of shares in Heaven in exchange for a meal, a shave and clothing, Henry Benjamin, believed to be from Youngstown, O., is in custody here pending an investigation.
Benjamin first visited a restaurant. After eating a hearty meal he handed the waiter a slip of paper which read, “Good for one share of stock in Heaven.” As it was April 1 the waiter accepted the incident as a nervy April fool joke and allowed Benjamin to depart. A barber was next given some of the celestial in payment for a shave. He kicked. Benjamin, however, managed to get out of the shop and was taken by the police while attempting to settle a clothing bill of $44 in the same manner."
Yes I’ve seen that Gumbud, it was a sad day for Irish publicans when they started selling water in pubs, I have actually witnessed a whole table of people in a pub, sitting there for over two hours with nothing but bottled water on the table.:shock:
What a pity Colonel Tom Parker (the old tightarse) didn’t think of bottling Elvis’s farts, folks would pay good money for that kind of thing now.
Whilst on the subject of fortune tellers, my experience is singular and involved one, Leon Petulengro; a charming 7th son of a 7th son, witty and possessing great wisdom ,humility & I use the term “inspired insight” carefully for that was his gift.
I met him in 1972 for lunch as part of a promotion of his book “The roots of health”
Ii didnt ask him for his thoughts concerning me, sensing my skepticism, he didnt offer.
After lunch he was sped away by a Romany pal driving a mercedes, but not before he whispered in my ear
“You’re a nice young gentleman Robert” coming closer still he went on “Watch your back, be sure to do that will you please”
For a long time after that encounter I excercised great care lifting anything heavy.
Watch your back indeed RJ.
Wasn’t Leon Petulengro commissioned to write a companion book to “The Roots of Health” called “The Branches of Booths Pharmacy” I believe there was a brown envelope involved.
