well I’m sorry I do beg your pardon but with this sloppy post you must have offended many towel makers worldwide and we are on the WWW.com!
[CENTER]Kimberley Rambles contd[/CENTER]
hic;fart; burp - well missed the dawn parade for ANZAC day and even missed the dog walk on the links - hit the streets with the dog at 7.30am - breeze was still there but sun was up and it was heating up so once around the block for a pee and crap - [the dog not me] and home to a quiet house. no family calls by lunch time so the rest not celebrating either.
TV off as we are getting swamped by ANZAC - it’s overkill. Well it certainly is in the Kimberley but Wollongong seems to be OK with it!
there will probably be a quiet gathering later but now it is shall we clean up the house time!
I had left some pipes [smoking kind] on the patio table for a week and used some occasionally - today noticed a big orange wasp hovering around one and THEN disappearing into the bowl - on final examination HE/SHE had built a nest in the bowl with soil cement and had even managed to seal the entire stem and bowl - her eviction was painful but fortunately she wasn’t about. they do make a good job of cementing. One of her mates a few months back tried the same trick in my outdoor stereo unit - they love nuck and crannies!
Oh,you have NO human warmth!
Y’said y’self you have pipes PLURAL…but y’just couldn’t find it in your heart to assist poor momma wasp with a temporary shelter for her offspring.
All she needed was ONE pipe-temporarily,so the bee-ettes would be safe.
GAH…I just hope she strikes you off her ‘Honey List’!
but pray dear sir it twas my favourite pipe and has been half away around the world with me - I wonder how it’s goin to go with the recent aroma of bee-ettes?
ps: the poor wasp returned hovering around lost and bewildered so I gave her a quick squirt of instant fly killer! i thought this beast under the circumcision - put her out of her poor misery!
Inland , coast, testicles, old ladies ,infant violence, Agathie (Agatha?) Christie, Termites,
Immaculate perception?
What’s going on chums?
well dear RJ we were expecting a naughty postcard! 0h savour the days when you could
Nice to have you back in harness RJ,
I hope you had a pleasant break.
Isn’t it strange how some words that mean the same thing cannot be used in certain sentences, they would just not sound right. Take the word “Amputate”, I use this as an example because the wife was telling me about an old neighbour who had to have his leg amputated last weekend. I had just been watching a TV program about King Charles the whatever having his head lobbed off, now suppose I said to the wife “Oh look darling, King Charles is having his head amputated” it doesn’t sound the same thing at all does it? And suppose, God forbid, some unfortunate had a rare disease and had to have his backside removed, you wouldn’t say his arse was amputated, or would you? But deliberately cutting off a part of the body is the same thing and one word should be able to cover the whole procedure.
Another word if used in the wrong context is “Row” even though it is spelt the same way it means three completely different things, row as to have an argument, row as a line of houses, and row as to row a boat, it must be a nightmare for a Chinaman trying to learn English with words like that about. I remember when my sons Italian father in law first came to Dublin ten years ago we eventually got around to talking about the sea, he asked me was I ever in a boat and I said yes, his next question completely threw me “Who rode you?” “Oh you mean who rowed me?” “That’s what I said didn’t I?”
Thanks for that Jem.
I suppose, picking out one of your examples at random, the meaning of “Can’t be arsed” becomes more clear.
My dear old dad had a small but well loved store of humorous anecdotes & quips. This one seems in keeping with the topic of the moment.
“Rob, if ever I won the Lottery, I’d buy a new bum, cos mine’s got a crack in it”.
I could write more but they’re all cheeky.
groan.
From under a post seeped a solitary groan
Without meaning, message, or tone
What does this imply I say onto you
Has one contacted a dose of the flu?
Alas and alack
To put you on track
The groan was a moan
if truth be known
one thinks golly gosh
RJ writes such tosh
more tomorrow, when me be better in everyway.
[CENTER]Kimberley Rambles[/CENTER]
the old town of Derby stood sombre on ANZAC day - many businesses of course being closed [particularly govt - they love to extract their pounds {dollars} of flesh] - you can drive down the main street from one end at which point you enter the town on the Broome Highway to the furthest or is that farthest end which is the 180 degree jetty or wharf as some prefer at which point without breaks [or is that brakes?] you will end up in a muddy stew!
Apart from dog patrol I must have remained indoors for most of the day until I remembered I was dangerously low on bourbon! On checking with my breathalyzer I could see that to venture out could be risky if not disasterous so whiled away an hr or two until within safe limits and dashed out approaching dusk [at which point I realized one of the headlights wasn’t functioning] Amiss gloom and doom I drove off heading down Ashley St - Broome Hwy and Woolworths - CLOSED - dash - off down Loch St [the main drag] passed the cop shop [strangely closed and without lights -they must all be on hols - yippy] and down to Rockies Store with off license and general store. Fully functioning off license and home through the winding back streets to safety and a double bourbon!
http://www.kimberleyaustralia.com/image-files/derby-jetty-sunset.jpg
half of our 180 degree jetty that you drive on and off and through if you wishh!
Thats some Jetty Gumbud, is there a bus service on it? I wouldn’t fancy walking all the way down that, or do only cars use it?
well back in the old days there was a small train ran its length carrying mail bags from the ships and cattle to the the ships but people fish off it all through the season and catch some good stuff. This town has a history like the old wild west towns of America - hard workin, fightin and drinkin men and a few women who could match them too. I’ll see if I can find some old shots
Fair enough. Talking about the old days I wonder whatever happened to Parkers Tonic, the great health and strength restorer? Are you weary in brain and body? are you suffering from consumption, asthma, or coughs? well Parkers is your only man, one dose and you can look as healthy and happy as the stout chap in the picture. Just look at the smug face on him as the other poor geezer sits dying in the armchair, he doesn’t even offer him a glass of the stuff, all he says is “I was miserable as you until Parkers Tonic cured me, an occasional dose before eating keeps me well”
I see there’s a Parkers Hangover Cure on the market now,“Avoid intoxicants”? I wonder are they any relation. No good to me I have me own cure for that, I’d like to have a bottle of this original stuff that rejuvenates the blood.http://i736.photobucket.com/albums/xx4/jemflux/461dd5bf-c1eb-4850-80e9-80187a5b6af4_1_0.jpg
And now for a bit of absurdity.
Plum pudding is nice but contains no plums
Worms can wiggly yet they have no bums
We turn up our noses to eating frogs
Yet we happily devour mustard on dogs
A pair of Chinese drivers were in a plight
When two wongs made a right.
Should have been left by all accounts do
But a hill of bean is all it amounts to
Doe is a dear and her sister as well
Still they went bad and ended in hell
Doctors differ and patients lie
And we’ll all live up to the time that we die
It takes all sorts to make up a world
Some very clever and others absurd
Put them together and what have we got
The mixture that makes God’s melting pot.
pardon?
Ah Pug me ole mucker, your back.
You reminded me of something there Pug. When I was a kid and used to belch after one of my grannies wonderful dinners, I would say “pardon” and she would say back to me “Sorry we don’t pardon Pigs, we shoot them” I think she picked that one up from the Lord of the Manor when she worked as a parlour maid in Liverpool back in the early 1900’s:-)
My favourite panelist? One would think a panel beater would be called a Panelist, or do they not have panel beaters anymore? reminds me of the Judge with no testicles, Justice John Thomas.
Now approaching 67 years of age I find that lots of things annoy me.
For example, today a huge lorry passed me brightly emblazoned with this message.
McCains for all your seed potatoes.
What the heck is that all about?
McCains make chips, don’t they. I suppose they could grow their own potatoes for chipping, but why advertise distribution of seed potatoes.
There is a link in thast seed potatoes are selectively grown in Scotland, the low temperatures there inhibit the presence of bugs & pests.
McCain sounds like a Scottish name, but I just don’t get it.
Another thingj. French Fries. It’s a misnomer, while the unwashed French were gobbling down frogs legs, horses & snails the Belgians invented chips.
The French torment the Belgians limitless demand for them
And so on to cyclists bad road manners…oops…door bbl