I have to admit, I don’t like the idea of growing old and being single. It feels sad to think about leaving this world without someone close by. Companionship makes the journey easier, and sometimes I worry about what it means to face aging alone. Still, I try to remind myself that friendships, laughter, and community can bring comfort too. Maybe it’s not about whether we die single, but about how much love and connection we share along the way.
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I am not yet sixty, but have been divorced for nearly 20 years. In that time I had a 11 year long distance relationship that ended in me being ghosted. About 3 years ago I met again with an older man that I had known platonically for over 30 years, we enjoy a purely platonic good friends relationship as I can’t personally surmount the age gap - he would wish it otherwise, but accepts the situation. We both benefit from someone to spend social time with, but neither of us benefits in any other way. I sometimes wish I had someone to 'hold hands with +" physical contact is nice and I do not like to think that I will never again enjoy it, but another part of me is also quite happy being my own boss, going where I want, when I want and under my own terms. I gave 17 and 11 years respectively to partners who never appreciated my 100% loyal affection to them. If I were to find another partner it would have to be someone very special and at the moment I doubt they are out there.
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JOC, I really admire the honesty in your story. It takes strength to walk away from relationships where your loyalty wasn’t appreciated, and even more strength to embrace independence while still valuing companionship. I can relate to that balance, enjoying the freedom of being my own boss, yet still missing the simple closeness of holding hands or sharing everyday moments.
Like you, I believe if another partner were to come along, they’d have to be someone truly special. In the meantime, I think there’s a lot to be said for friendship, laughter, and mutual respect. Those things matter just as much as romance, and sometimes they’re even more lasting.