… YOU will be ASSIMILATED! … RESISTANCE is FUTILE!
… or not.
Fact is, I’m looking for a new forum because I just got booted off my old one. Because I’m a Borg? No. In fact, this is my very first time being a Borg. And so far, I don’t think I like it very much. For one thing, this ocular implant thingy attached to my head is giving me ocular blithering MIGRAINES! And them NANOPROBES they assimilated me with, are making me SKIN CRAWL! It’s enough to drive ya round the bloody bend! … BEND, I TELL YA!
But enough of my problems. I’m here to introduce myself …
Hello everyone! My name is Three of Five. But you may call me “Three.” … Or if you prefer, “Mr. Five” will do just as nicely.
As I was saying … a couple days ago, I was given the unceremonious heave ho from another forum. Most of you are probably familiar with it. I won’t mention the name. But it’s short-form version begins with an S, ends with F, with nothing else in between. Some of it’s members are no doubt here also. And to the few who may recognize me, I say, “Hello again, eh? … from TJ n’ Grumpy!”
The reason why I was banned for life, is a long story. And maybe I’ll tell it another time, if anyone’s interested. I imagine Azz might be, eh? Let’s just say for now, long story short, that I misguidedly allied myself with the wrong person. She was promptly banned. And then, so was I, for valiantly leaping to her defense.
“GUILTY by association! … ACCESSORY after the FACT! … GET OUT and STAY OUT!”
Am I a trouble-maker? No! Of course not. Have I ever BEEN in trouble? Yes. Yes, I have. I don’t go around looking for it. And yet, from time-to-time it finds me anyway. When it does, I don’t stay quiet about it. But one thing’s for sure - I never START it. It’s ALWAYS been the OTHER persons’ fault.
And that’s the truth! 
Meanwhile, I’ve been busy setting my Profile thingy up. There’s facts about me with pictures n’ stuff. You’re all invited to visit. Tea and crumpets will be served free-of-charge to the first two visitors. I’m looking forward to a long stay here, meeting new friends and just having a little fun. See you all later, eh?
PS: Just a reminder … I’m in Canada. Born in England, but was only there for my first seven years. I notice most of you are in the UK. So I may have to (on occasion), ask y’all what the hell yer talkin’ aboot.
I apologize in advance, eh? 
