I regularly meet a young woman at the bus stop and we are in the habit of chatting for a while before the bus comes. There is some eye contact and hints we could have a coffee together at some point. I am starting to have feelings for her but am unsure if she is only being friendly and not wanting to take things further. It is made worse because I am going through a separation from my partner and feel vulnerable.
Hello David, when you say âyoung Ladyâ, may I ask how young?
Was going to ask the same. These sort of things are tricky to advise on. Not knowing the two parties involved
Go for it.
In her Fifties, I guess. I am about 15 years older. Just retired.
The problem as you get older is that the number of females far out number males. Since my 50s, while I wouldnât claim to be fighting them off, I have had a surprising number of inquiries from women of similar age as to whether I fancied a partner.
Maybe just keep up the friendship, and see where it goes from there
Do you know if she is married or has a partner? That is the first thing I would want to know if I was chatting to somebody on a regular basis.
At the moment you are just enjoying your chats with her, but she may just be a nice friendly lady. Ask simple question like " How many are you cooking for tonight?" or âWhat time does your husband get home for the evening meal ?â
If she has no partner then perhaps you could have a coffee together and see how things go, but I would suggest you donât rush into things, especially whilst you are going through a separation!
As long as you are not waiting for the 69.
You said you are feeling Vulnerable, I would say nows not a time to get into another relationship .Chatting at the bus stop is ok but going for coffee is one step nearer to having a date .
I think shes just being friendly /Sociable .
Grab the chance and go for it, you may not get another. Who was it who said âa bird in the hand is better than a bird in the bushâ of course they got that the wrong way around
Twinks is right get the facts first .
Itâs a crush!
Yes. Twink is spot on.
Yes just carry on as you are chatting and as @Twinks has said a good place to start, I chat to lots of people maybe she is simply picking up on your vulnerability and being kind but you never know, at worst you get a friend.
Youâve indicated that youâre vulnerable right now so complicating your life any further might not be the best thing at the moment.
But, if you want to move forward, Let her know your current relationship status AFTER youâve ascertained hers.
Do play open cards with her about your situation. Honesty. Then, let her decide if sheâd like to have coffee with you.
Good luck
Personally David, I wouldnât even contemplate getting into another relationship if Iâve only just newly been separated, I would want to get over that first, I wouldnât be thinking about jumping into another relationship, âŠbe friends by all meansâŠbut I certainly wouldnât rush itâŠif itâs meant to be it will just happen naturally in timeâŠjust my thoughts on the matter.
Wise words, my second marriage was definitely a triumph of enthusiasm/optimism over experience.
Personally, rejection never entered my mind with women. If, I fancied one who didnât fancy me thatâs quite alright, because there are plenty out there that will. Never look at rejection as personal, look at it as if this wasnât meant to be and be grateful not to have wasted a lot of time. If she simply wants to play hard to get, well Iâm a little old for such games.
Iâm a little too old for games in generalâŠ
Minx that is such a big fibâŠI have seen your Skipping RopeâŠwell that is what I used to call itâŠlooked similar anywayâŠ