This has made me spit out my coffee! Teehee
Was ferrying my in-laws to the train station years ago, we were running late so I was aiming to drive very quickly down the country roads. As soon as they got in the car, I pointed at their seatbelts and mistakenly and very loudly said ‘strap ON!’ Beetroot faces all round
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Haha, very Sid James response, cheeky.
Right, Mick, it’s only fair you tell this story. Popcorn’s at the ready and it better be more embarrassing than mine!
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Mine has to be the classic losing my swimming shorts on a waterslide at Butlins. Got to the bottom of the slide, stood up, waved to my family, saw they looked horrified…god I wanted the ground to swallow me!
In the 80s I also completely innocently told the kind lady who’d retired from my bakery that I missed her baps. She genuinely made them better than the guys who took over! Honest!
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These really made me laugh! We really did live in a Carry On movie back in the day didn’t we!
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Now that’s a great line from the dentist! Hehe
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Well all I can say, whilst lazing in my boudoir, … my one and only wardrobe failiure was with a wraparound skirt on a breezy day and flashing my stockings and suspenders.
And if I may say so, without sounding smug … the reaction from the male population was quite flattering.
But not PC … the naughty neanderthals.
What a comedown at my age when the nearest thing now is elasticated stockings to ease my varicose veins.
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Can I just say how much this thread has cheered me up today! How nice to see us over 50s giggling like teenagers over saucy stories.
So much of the ruder side of the internet is a bit too hardcore for me, so it’s refreshing to just be laughing together at tales involving each other’s naughty bits. It’s all so cheeky! 
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I agree … I miss all those hunky chaps with cute bums but now I can’t say so incase it body shames them into feeling a sexual object.
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Hear hear! How wonderfully put
Aw! Totally agree. Although I have a sneaky suspicion Mick just got us to confess all our most embarrassing moments without telling his best one and then ran away giggling into the sunset!
How very dare you! 
Ok here’s the story: so my wife says at school she was a right goody two shoes (I’ve seen photographs from the time, I can attest!). One morning she’s on the tube to school, all prim and proper in her uniform. Anyway, sat on the row of seats opposite her is a group of elderly blokes. She’s sat there minding her own business, head buried in her textbook or whatever, and after a while the oldies get up to leave at their stop. And as they’re about to go they turn back to her, thank her for a wonderful journey and for brightening up their morning. She’s confused so she asks why, and apparently all the old men said really loudly - and for all to hear - ‘Cos you’ve forgotten your knickers, love!’ and they all walked off the train!!
Turns out she’d been so flustered that morning she’d forgotten them and wasn’t exactly sat in the most ladylike way!
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Oh. My. Goodness. And I thought mine was embarrassing! 
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That is absolutely wonderful. So funny!
I have so many questions. How did she forget her knickers, how did she react, and as an old bloke who rides the tube why does this never happen to me??
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"Please use the Zebra Crossing Grandma. " 
“Ohhh Alright. If I have to”.
“But he will get in to a lot of trouble, if he makes Cluk Cluck. Mincemeat”. 
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Was she auditioning for Carry On Schoolgirl?
That story has got me absolutely howling. So brilliantly saucy
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Glad it’s raised a smile! The missus is officially happy to field any questions about the ‘Carry On Schoolgirl’ incident (as Terry so brilliantly named it)!
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Well firstly what on earth did she do when they told her??
(Im alternating between feeling so sorry for her and grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire Cat…)
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In response to some of the questions! She said she couldn’t find any undies that morning and made a mental reminder to grab some before she left home. Put the rest of her uniform on anyway, forgot about the knickers and the rest is history! As for how she reacted, we can probably imagine how bright red she went especially considering there was now a carriage full of people who knew there was a knickerless schoolgirl onboard!
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