Dodgy chat up lines

As a follow up to the splendid, “Ruin a date in one sentence” thread, I thought having one for dodgy chat-up lines might compliment it.

True storey. I was working in Derby, UK, with a colleague and went out for a drink most evenings before having something to eat. It was a warm sunny summer’s eve, and we were in a pub beer garden testing the local water. Well, about 95% of it was water. :wink:

Anyway, two young ladies sat on a rustic wooden bench seat, only for one of the arms (of the seat) to fall off. Being an engineer, and fairly good at woodwork, I reattached the arm, then belted it back into place with another lump of wood.
At this point one of the local wags piped up with, “Ee, what a chat up line. Have you got a hammer?”

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Nowt stranger than folk Fruitcake.
I had a chap come up to me in Tesco,and asked where i had been all his life…i answered…for half of it i was not born :joy:.
He did laugh and called me cheeky.


Your lips are like petals…

Bicycle petals.

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Well I hope you gave him a few little extra points on his Clubcard… just for sheer nerve :wink::+1::+1:

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I always used, “ if I said you had a beautiful body……would you take all your clothes off and show me…”

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So,have you always been a girl?

A random stranger once ran across the road, dodging the traffic, fell to his knees in front of me and said “will you marry me?”
I showed him my left hand with wedding ring in place and said “I’m already married”
He replied “I’m sure he won’t mind”