Just now, instead of sticking the buds in, I stuck the male coupling of my earplugs in my ear. Lucky it is “Below Average” size.
No Pain, No Pain. 
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Last week I made the sandwiches for the cricket the night before.
Next morning I opened the fridge -no sign of them!
Found them on the kitchen table.Left out all night!
But the clingfilm was in the fridge…
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I do quite often have nice mugs of hot water,having forgotten to add tea bag and or milk.
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I go to another room only to arrive and forget what I went for and have to return to do it again to remember.
Fortunately I can console myself that it is an evolutionary trait dating back to the cavemen.
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Yesterday after doing ironing, I couldn’t locate my cellphone. Looked all over the apartment for 20 minutes, tore the room apart. I even called my number five times, heard it ringing, but when I faced one wall it sounded like it was coming from across the room.
Exhausted, I sat on the loveseat…and also sat on my phone I had put in my back pocket to count steps while ironing. The ringing phone moved as my butt was in the air looking under the furniture.
Ridiculous! I felt so foolish!
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Remember those key ring things that beeped at you if you whistled so you could find your keys? I think mobile phones should have the same thing built in as an app.
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I’m always putting things in a “safe” place… I just can’t remember where that is 
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Milk has occasionally gone in the teapot when making tea…
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They were a bloody distraction, they used to go off at the drop of a pin. Didn’t some respond if you clapped?
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What a great thread.
The other day the arm on my reading glasses came loose and I need to tighten the screw. I went to get the tiny screwdriver and then realised I couldn’t see the tiny screw so spent the next two minutes looking everywhere for my glasses.
You may wonder if I ever found them?
Well yes I did, they were in my hand because the arm was loose and the screw needed tightening.
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I have been in the same situation, how can one tighten a tiny screw without wearing the glasses?
I ended up buying a couple of $5 glasses so I would not be in such a predicament. 
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I don’t have that problem, I have pairs of glasses scattered all over the house for all different kinds of jobs…Some for long distance, some for short distance/reading, some for middle distance cooking/ general chores and some very strong for minute work in the lab, and they are bifocal so I can read drawings without removing them…
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I’ll just have another glass of beer!
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Of course i do,i turned the oven on to heat up a little to put my piece of beef in for dinner,went out only to find i forgot to put it in.
Sadly that is not a one off.
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I was walking along the road this morning heading home, when an ambulance went whizzing by, lights and siren going full tilt. For some reason, I was suddenly reminded of my childhood in Scotland, when if an ambulance went by, you had to hold your collar, till you saw a dog! So,silly old me did so, and unbelievably in an area usually heaving with dogs, could I find a bloody one! It took a good 20 minutes for me to spot one.When I told the wife, who’s English, she said “I’ve never heard of that”. Now that I’m 80, is this the first sign of madness!?? 
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