Yes time thieves are the worst, because although you can lose money and get it back you can never recover lost time.
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I think this applies very much to alcoholics
Sometimes the people who love them are enabling them and giving up on them and letting them hit rock bottom is better for both the alcoholic and the person trying to help them
Otherwise there’s a danger both lives get ruined
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Better to give up rather than fall out.
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My neighbour friend her husband was a alcoholic as was his cousin so spent a lot of time together…He was a fireman for many years but still an alcoholic and most weeks all his wages went in the Plough Pub in Beddington…he would spend rounds of drinks on so called mates…
One night Jenny got worried and my husband went out looking for him…the pubs had closed so no way was he in a pub…
When he came across him he was out of it…he had sh*te himself as well as wee’d himself …can you imagine the site and husband had to get him back home…the stench was bad enough but was like moving a dead weight…the scene when he went inside his abode was actually silent…Jenny was so pleased to see him that she just cried and cried…
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Never waste your time, effort and money on druggies, gamblers and alcoholics, no matter who they are. I speak from experience. They’ll lie, and they’ll say whatever they think you want to hear just to buy themselves a bit more time from your “nagging”. Save yourself years of pointless stress, keep your distance and just let them get on with it.
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My Father was an abusive alcoholic with diagnosed mental issues. Some people are beyond help and can’t see their own problems or the problems they cause to others, nor are they willing to accept help because in their eyes, they don’t need help.
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So true
Thank you Heatherbelle
Bless you
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So true Graham
Bury their heads in the sand 
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This is a tough one but I think for our own sanity we limit the time we spend with them or sadly, we have to cut some people out of our lives.
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I hope you won that argument.
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Some people become very attached to their own problems and can use this attachment to shield them from the reality of life and are too afraid of living a normal life. It’s usually an excuse, but rooted in extreme fear of the unknown/of change. It can be impossible to move someone from a state of terror into the uncomfortable territory of living without that fear. Someone who feels psychologically trapped is staring at a wall, kidding themselves that they have no options, when there is a door behind them but they refuse to turn around and walk through it.
It takes a truly unique person to speak the right language to get through to someone in such a situation. Even if they do many people are like a stuck record. They might move on only to go right back to square one when whatever trigger creates a similar anxiety.
I would say life is hard so if you are strong enough then help others as much as you can, but it’s important to know when to let go and walk away for your own sanity. Sometimes we sleepwalk in such situations and carry on helping or supporting someone for too long even when it’s clear that there is no hope in resolving their problems. Your energy might be put to use better in resolving your own.
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Nope, I didn’t win any argument over his driving.
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Wherever Whatever. Route we take. There are always. Two sides.
A Lane. Easy to Cross Over.
A Motorway. Less easy. Care Caution & Diplomacy.
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I would venture to say, it does not teach you not to care , but makes you realize more,that you cannot help someone who is unwilling to help themself.
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With NO recognised effect here, on 50+. Elsewhere on SM.
<<< Gives Up. On Whingers.
Who post in detail, something superficial, perceived of genuine concern. Asking for help.
Well meaning readers offering such [10>20 Responses]
Not one acknowledgement. Or response, from the. Never seen again, with that NdeP.!! Originator.
There’s one thing with getting something “Off the Chest”.
Quite another, canvassing advice. And totally Ignoring those with sympathy and advice.
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I have had to give up on two friends. Both very toxic. It took me a long time to finally realise I should just walk away. Now I’m very cautious about who I let into my life
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It does take a while to realise some people are simply bad for us to be around.
When we are finally out of their clutches then life becomes a great deal easier.
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Yes.
We have Five Senses. Barely One Useful, In the Digital world.
None at all. In the AI. world.
Developing and relying, on a sixth. Accumulated “Intuition”.
Sorts. The Wheat from the Chaff.
And. Re viewable!
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So true
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I have to admit, even though I am all in on helping others as much as I can, I am still quick to distance myself from people, but even those I distance myself from I still make myself available to help them find / contact any resources which may assist them in getting the help they need, you never know the path one may have traveled to get to this point in their life, especially vets.
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