What have I learnt in the short time we have been in contact.
Plenty and none of it good, the family curse of estrangement is alive and well as she herself does not have contact with her three children or our other sister who lives just a few miles away. So I am also an uncle 
It also seems our mother a women devoid of any maternal feelng towards her children has only ever contacted Dianne once.
I have also learnt that our father as a brutal man and treated Dianne to his fists though i do remember him using his army belt on me when i was only five.
It really is a depressing picture of our so called family.
I
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My Fraggle, It is difficult to judge whether your mother had any maternal instincts.maybe she had a hard life with parents who didnāt support her when she got pregnant. In those days contraceptives were not readily available & support for women trying to bring a child up was very little. Maybe she was just a silly young woman looking for love?
I am not excusing what she did with her children, but I am saying that the more you learn & dislike about her wonāt help you, so just be proud that you have managed to become a decent person without the help of a mother and father.
I think you like catsā¦ so you must be a nice person! 
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She was marriedand although I know she did not have a good relationship with her mother of does not excuse her behavior, what it did was instil in me a profound distrust in women which I never really got past and it meant I did not treat them well until it was far too late.
What is worse is even now she has not accepted any responsibility for her appalling at times behavior towards her children, in fact she has often said to me that I got in the way of her own happiness.
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Yepā¦I can relate, only you know how it made you feel and what damage it did.
Iām still damaged goods, even after all those years .
My parents were the same, no responsibility taken for their behaviourā¦itās taken me a lifetime nearly to forgive themā¦
You lived it and survivedā¦no more the victim.
Unless you have been the victim of abuse, you could never relate to it.
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In that case I would forget about her ! You canāt change what she did & it is sad that it affected your treatment of women, but it isnāt too late to stop her getting in the way of your happiness.
Some mothers were forced to give up their children when they didnāt want to 
, but if I was in your position I would just forget she existed !
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Both me and my sister decided long-ago that we wouldnāt be forever victims of a situation we had no control overā¦its easy to apportion blame on parents but we are not kids now we are full grown adults with free willā¦its up to us to set our own moral compass ā¦
Iām not wagging a finger here or lecturing its just how we decided to deal with our situation when we were youngā¦maybe having sister who is four years older than me helped so I wasnāt completely aloneā¦no idea
Iām glad you are catching up with your sister ā¦just talking things through might be therapeutic for you both x
Iām not sure that I fee a victim that is far to simplistic, as to apportioning blame and it being easy, not sure I understand that at all.
Unfortunately the more I learn about our dysfunctional family the less chance it will be therapeutic for instance I have learnt that my father was a brutal man who thought nothing of beating the crap out of his wife and kids so in some respects my being in a childrenās home save me from such abuse.
But being in contact is at least filling in massive gaps in my family knowledge.
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Itās filling in massive gaps of your family history, I had a much different upbringing, but surely not knowing anything about your family, must have left you with a huge void through your life, plus you must have had so many questions to ask, also answers.
I hope finding out about your mother and father doesnāt cause you to much pain, at least you are at a mature age where you are much more than likely to understand it.
How would a child understand why they were placed in a childrenās homeā¦that never happened to me, I canāt even imagine what that must have been like.
Well that came as a surprise as I feel that I have learnt all I can from Diane and now I have not got a clue what to say in emails. Cannot say that I am particularly interested in her life, not sure if I am able to take it much further.
I do not see our relationship as a brother sister relationship, I doubt we will ever meet.
An interesting turn of events.
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Well that seems a shame but yes, you have be realistic about these things and at least you both gave it a shot and learned a little more about your livesā¦
Iāve always said just because family come from the same mother or father it doesnāt mean we always want to be friends or even like each other. I have 4 brothers living who dont even know Iām still alive and when i die and they are told they no doubt will say
" didnt know her anyway "
Because they cant be bothered to stay in touch
My close friends are more family to me
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I agree, I have one living Sister whom I have no desire to ever have anything to do with again, itās hard to believe we are even cut from the same cloth, we may be sisters and look alike but we are nothing alike in nature.
Iām the same as Susan, my closest friends are my āfamilyā .
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I suppose I should say something rather than just stop replying to her emails, no hurry though.
Just had a Facebook message from the son of my other sister Lynn, never understood why he did not stay in touch but I suspect his mother had an influence here.
Will I reply, I will sleep on it?
A shame not to get in touch but itās obvious you feel cautious. If you would like reassurance, I can offer to check certain facts for you - birth/marriage/death years and place; electoral registers etc from genealogy websites. Youād either have the reassurance that what your sister is telling you is the truth; or know sheās good at telling lies. Handy to have some insight about people.
As it happens the contact went nowhere and to be honest I am not at all bothered. After 65 + years it was always going to be difficult and what with her very weird views on the virus, the vaccine and UFOās we had nothing in common.
I unfriended her on FB and she never sent another email.
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Well that is a little bit sad I supposeā¦but you canāt choose your family.
Only slightly related to the title of this thread, but I would have adored a sister if I had been lucky enough to have one. Alas, as an only child to a war damaged mother and a father who did not survive past my 5th birthday, I had deep envy for those children with a sibling.
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My feelings exactly @LongDriver I would have longed to have a sibling, my father died when I was very young and my mother never remarried
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I suppose it has a lot to with age it makes you aware of your mortalityā¦
If she didnāt get in touch with you now tomorrow might be to late .
If it was me I would go for it. Cant do any harm.