My parents divorced when I was 7 and us children stayed with Dad.Mum got remarried immediately.
My Mothers Mother came to raise us kids. For 20 years she done everything required to raise 5 rowdy children.
When all is said and done, 15 years of her last 20 years were virtually as a maid running a household.
There came a time when at 75 years of age? she was too much for my Father to look after and a danger to herself being often at home by herself. Her mind had started to “Wander”
The final event was when she attempted to throw some rubbish into the creek running past our place. In throwing the rubbish, she ended up in the creek and was unable to get herself out.
Apparently she was laying in the slow running creek for at least 5 hours before a passer by heard her plaintive cries for help.
Unscathed really, she spent a couple of nights in Hospital and was back home.
Dad in the mean time had rung his ex wife and told her what had happened and said to her.
“I can not look after her anymore and because she is your Mother I think she should go live with you.”
Mum agreed and within 2 weeks my Grandmother had moved to Hobart, 260 km’s away where she was almost immediately placed in a nursing home.
I went to visit several months later and my first view of her was my beautiful Grandmother tied to a chair.
I asked the staff why was that necessary? There response was, “She likes to wander”
The Nursing home was fully fenced with a locked gate and a beautiful Flower Garden.
My Grandmother loved gardening. So before they come up with the tie down regime, Nan would go out into the garden which the staff did not like residents to do.
My Grandmother died about 6 months after my visit.
So her last 20 years were not how she would have expected or wanted them to be .
So sad how many Western Families treat their elderly. Almost as if they are a burden, getting in the way.
I think Azz should award you a medal for starting threads 
At the moment we are looking after my BH’s parents.They are housebound,she is blind and he has dementia.It’s a full time job and perhaps one day we won’t be able to cope.But he wants to stay in his house as long as possible,he did build it
No. Dad passed away in hospital after months of in and out. Mum, well, that was a story in itself, in 2012.
Thankfully not.
They would have lived with me had that had been the case.
We are looking after my elderly Aunt and Uncle at the moment,they too would not end up in a home.
My Mother contracted vascular dementia back in 2003 and I had to commit her to a home, as I couldn’t cope with her condition whilst holding down a job. The process of getting her into a home was traumatic to say the least and involved doctors, hospitals and solicitors, as she could no longer deal with her affairs. She passed away five years later.
Some sad stories here, and I feel sorry for all your losses, and having to admit defeat by sending your loved ones into care. I would imagine that’s what it feels like…
I didn’t meet either of my granddads, and my grandma’s passed when I was young. They didn’t seem to live long in those days, not when my mum’s mum smoked 40 a day ever since she was 13 years old. She even worked for John Player (cigarette manufacturer in Nottingham) for the best part of her working life. It’s surprising to think that she survived until 75, and it wasn’t even cancer that killed her…
Both mum and dad passed away within 5 months of each other, I suppose being together for over 63 years, neither could do without the other…Mum died at home in her favourite chair and just went to sleep…Dad was admitted to hospital after suffering a stroke and died later that day…He claimed to see his beloved Mabel as he drifted away…
@Bretrick My father was dead from WWII incidents as I approached my 5th birthday and mother had a war damaged mind, so I was raised by my paternal grandparents. Grandfather died on the way to hospital at 65 and my wonderful Nan died in her bed asleep in my home at the age of 78. I miss them both just as much as if they were my parents, which to me they were😢
My father died of a heart attack aged 57. My mother moved to another country to live with my brother and after 10 years suffered a stroke which meant she had to go into a nursing home. She is still there aged 98 unfortunately now also suffering with dementia. I visited for last Christmas and New Year and was relieved that she actually knew me although my brother now tells me she has forgotten I was there.
OGF your story about your father seeing his wife before he passed made me recall visiting my grandmother - she was in her 80s and lived with one of her daughters - she had been unwell and when I visited told me she knew she would die soon as my grandfather and my uncle (who had both died several years previously) had come to show her the way. She died that night
You do hear many of these stories Sheila, I believe there are some things you find out about life and the reason for living, when you are about to exit it… 
I actually find it comforting - to think that loved ones are waiting to help you pass on and welcome you to to the next life
My sister was with my Father when he died in hospital aged 78. A few hours before he died he kept saying, “The faces the faces, can’t you see the faces?” Mother died in hospital aged 53 of heart failure.
I only knew one grandparent. She lived in Leeds, which was my Mother’s home city. Living in the South, we never saw much of her. One occasion I remember on a rare visit there. She told me off for coming to the dining table whistling a tune. She was a lady with rules. She died aged 90 being looked after by local family.
Guess some folks are pre-built for nursing homes, some ain’t, it’s all about perception, probably.