Do not be afraid of embarrassment, it won’t kill you. So what if you make a fool of yourself in front of the person you least wanted to make a fool of yourself in front of? It’s not the end of the World. The less you let it matter to you, the less it will matter to them. When you turn to walk away from speaking with someone who makes you nervous it is quite normal to trip over something that isn’t there; don’t worry about it.
Self consciousness can be so debilitating; it is apt to leave us lost for something to say, or send us in the complete opposite direction and cause us to spout forth a stream of meaningless rubbish. I tend to be lost for words when I am feeling self conscious, and only spout forth a stream of meaningless rubbish when I am writing. Just remember, no one deserves to be taken seriously. By all means pretend to take someone seriously if the consequences of not doing so would be to your disadvantage, but only pretend. Least of all take yourself seriously, that is unforgivable.
A well known strategy for coping with people you find intimidating is to imagine them naked. I do not find this helpful; throwing up over my boss’s shoes certainly did me no favours. I find that imagining them with a live fish in their pocket works best for me. If you have a vivid imagination and a particularly active fish is in their trouser pocket, their ability to daunt you is bound to be significantly compromised.
The efficacy of this advice is only notional, I’m afraid; I have never managed to put any of it into practice myself, apart from the bit about the fish, which, in all honesty, I have only had limited success with. Still, if I could only pad these basic precepts out into a complete self help book I think it would sit quite nicely with all the others you can buy in any good book store.
That was informative.
I was a shy child and acted so mostly…I can remember my turning point…
High School, out with the white socks and in with the tights…turned rebel…makeup backcombed hair,dyed a variety of colours… no school uniform. loved only sports and being the new me…was the 60’s afterall.
Had to change schools to an all girls school the last 6 months, which was fine as I got to learn some shorthand and typing…
Then that got me a job in the Forestry Commission in Savile Row, London…was still a rebel though, but a little more mature, I was now 15 years of age…
Wish I had some insight…you gain a lot along the way…good and bad.
Even when I was running for the Croydon Harriers, I would get those nervous feelings…I just wanted to win, I guess…
I lIked the idea of you also seeing people naked to distract from…whatever…
To be honest I only see people naked now, in truth…
…that has changed my life for the better…
I have been overly self-conscious just about all my life. It is only in these last few years that I have stopped caring too much about how I appear to others. That’s in real life, of course, on the internet I don’t give a toss what people think of me.
