One thing, about Boris, is that you seldom hear him being described as “Boring”!
There’s an amusing discussion, in the DT, today, that tells us how being boring is a big factor in the election of Prime Ministers.
I paste this, partly, as an amusing read and, partly, as a warning.
From Michael Deacon, Columnist “Way Of The World”
" We keep reading that, if Boris Johnson goes, the race to replace him as Prime Minister will be wide open. But this is untrue. In fact, narrowing down the likely field is easy. Because there’s one thing we already know for sure.
The next PM will be someone stupendously boring.
We know this for a very simple reason: it’s someone boring’s turn. Examine a chronological list of the men and women who have occupied 10 Downing Street in recent decades, and a clear pattern soon emerges. Invariably, someone interesting is succeeded by someone boring, who in turn is succeeded by someone interesting, who is then succeeded by someone boring, and so on. Interesting, boring, interesting, boring. We constantly alternate between the two.
Essentially, what happens is this. We decide we want a PM who is charismatic, energetic, good on TV, a compelling public speaker. Which sounds fair enough. The trouble with charismatic politicians, however, is that they tend to cause a lot of drama. And after a few years, we grow weary of all this drama, and reach eagerly for the antidote: a “safe pair of hands” who “just gets on with the job”. In short: someone boring. But of course, after a few years of someone boring, we inevitably grow bored, and yearn for someone who is charismatic, energetic, good on TV, a compelling public speaker… And so the cycle continues.
Take the prime ministers of my lifetime. The pattern goes Thatcher (interesting), Major (boring), Blair (interesting), Brown (boring), Cameron (interesting), May (boring), Johnson (interesting). So it’s obvious who’ll be next. It’ll be someone boring. In fact, to help us recover from the relentless drama, scandal and controversy of the Johnson premiership, it’ll have to be someone extremely boring indeed. Someone sensationally bland. Dazzlingly tedious. Spectacularly dull.
On the face of it, this sounds like terrific news for Sir Keir Starmer. Because he’s about as boring as a politician, or for that matter a living organism, can be. So if, at the next general election, his opponent is Mr Johnson, Sir Keir will be licking his lips. Destiny, he will feel, is calling. His time has come. A Labour victory is assured.
But wait. The Conservatives can still scupper his chances. If, in the coming months, they ditch Mr Johnson, and replace him with someone boring, Sir Keir is toast. Because then we’ll already have a boring prime minister. Which means that to win the next election, Sir Keir will suddenly have to become interesting. An impossible challenge. His aides will despair. They might as well try teaching an elephant to dance Swan Lake.
Should the Conservatives decide to change leader soon, they have a number of enticingly dull candidates to choose from. But one name in particular is worth keeping an eye on.
Each month, the ConservativeHome website invites Tory party members to pass judgment on each member of the Cabinet. And for the past three months in a row, their favourite minister by some distance has been the Defence Secretary, Ben Wallace. A “safe pair of hands” who “just gets on with the job”. Not only that, he’s balding, middle-aged, and no one can remember a single notable thing he’s ever said.
In other words: he’s Sir Keir’s worst nightmare.
So, if Labour is to win the next election, Sir Keir needs to prevent the Tories from getting a boring leader. Which means doing all that he can to keep Mr Johnson in place. As soon as possible, therefore, Sir Keir must give a speech declaring that partygate is no big deal, that everyone in the country broke the rules at some point, and that he himself spent lockdown having riotous parties with friends too.
Unfortunately for him, though, he’s so boring that no one will believe it."