Just been reading this and it dawned on me that many of our friends are doing the same for their kids/grandkids.
One friend buys her adult sons new cars every 3 years or so. She also pays for big family holidays abroad every year. One son had big debts (gambling) and she paid all those off too. She also childminds 2 days a week for free.
Several friends have given £30,000 or £40,000 for deposits on houses. Another told me recently she took about the same amount out of her house in equity so her son could buy a house.
My parents had no spare money to give us when we started out, my husband’s parents had plenty but never gave us anything. My Dad used to give us boxes of homegrown veg though and helped out with decorating and my Mum knitted and sewed for our kids.
we too had to help with a deposit on a house for our younger son. It seems that all they are interested in is having kids and no responsibility if they can afford or not. What really annoys me is they say they can’t afford to save for a mortgage! what a load of tosh. Never heard of taking on a second or even third job to save. Never heard of not going out on expensive evening meals or on holiday instead. When Sue and I got married mortgage interest rated were about 15%, now they moan at 4 or 5%. Yes we like all of our generation struggled but got our priorities right first
I think when young we didn’t have expectations of support , we married ,saved and were frugal , had to be , I never expected money from anyone , my family were poor , my in laws very wealthy but they never offered any support what so ever . They were very tight fisted in fact . Life was basic minimum for many many years .
I’ve helped my kids with bits and bobs but can’t help with big things but to be honest their income is bigger than mine and they have good life styles , holidays , camper van travel abroad , meals out .
I think the younger generation expect more from life . They buy a property and fill it with new carpets fridge and freezers all on credit . My first carpets were second or third hand me downs and lasted years but this generation would scoff at second hand carpets and furniture. ( my kids would )
Some would, some are grateful to get them. The people at the bottom of the heap are in a desperate plight and I often see pleas for fridges etc on our community websites.A lot of people can’t afford the basics
The thing is, I’ve been poor and I know how to be frugal because I had to be.
And I don’t want that for my children. Every generation hopes their kids will be better off than them, don’t they? That’s progress and natural
I wouldn’t dream of seeing them go short and have to scrimp and struggle while I had a couple of bob to help them out
It’s not about them being spoiled or extravagant, that would be different
It’s about just easing things for them a little bit
For example, my friends son and wife have just had a baby. He’s had to give up his job because his wife is ill and can’t be left on her own
When she stayed she noticed they didn’t have much heating on and were drying their washing on just an airer, because the radiators weren’t on
So she bought them one of those heated airers from Lakeland that don’t use much power and told them they can have her heating allowance payment this year, because she doesn’t need it
Buying second hand carpets won’t mitigate the actual cost of buying a house in the first place .
That is where kids need help the rest are just peripheries .
On our local FB page this week a young woman was selling all her carpets. She said they had only been down a week and were supplied by the builders of her new build home! She said they didn’t go with her furniture so she was buying all new ones. They were just plain grey. Even now (when I am comfortably off) I would have used them for a good few years.
I’m rather surprised … one in six?
They must be incredibly well off or prepared to make sacrifices for their kids and their kids, kids … but that’s what people do . If they have that much money, why not. It’s their money.
Young adults expect a better standard of living now, they’re introduced to it at a very young age and if grandparents are sitting on loads of money it does seem logical .
I just wonder when these grandkids are themselves grandparents … what assets, if any, they will have built up to hand down?
I do wish builders would not put down horrible grey carpets they do seem to love them in fact grey seems everywhere . It’s so grim reminiscent of battleships or prisons .
Those that use the bank of Gran/Grandad were probably going to inherit the money anyway.
Its nice that they see how the money will be spent whilst they are alive,good on them.
I well remember a local dept store where we used to live had a winter sale. Sue wanted a copper bottom milk saucepan so off we went to the store. Yes they had them in stock @ 50 shillings each. Would you believe we spent over half an hour deciding if we could afford one or not. That is just one example of the struggle we had in setting up our home.I could go on about going to night shool to learn a bit about carpentry and made our first table (coffee type) to eat off
And rather oddly, though that sounds quite dire I bet it gave you a real sense of achievment.
I can remember saving up each week to buy bits and bobs for my kitchen. …
One thing it did do is bring Sue and I closer together as a team with the same end in mind Was it tough? you bet it was, I can’t see the younger generation now not going out anywhere together for 18 months to save for the wedding and a place to live. This is what we did and put down enough deposit for a mortgage. Oops a bit wrong we did manage to get a very very cheap holiday in Spain for a short time
When the government (Blair) decided that everyone should go to university, that’s the time when kids couldn’t or wouldn’t save up for a house. Nobody wants to be an apprentice at twenty one with an ology or something similar.
I’d been working and paying tax by the time I was twenty one, and with the help of Mrs Fox we’d also saved a deposit for a house. Both people working is a must even in these days.
There isn’t going to be a Bank of Gran. With a single income, I always aimed to provide my kids with the tools to be independent. Hopefully, they will also be able to support their families. Either they take up the offer of the proffered tools or not. The consequences are theirs to face.
However, notwithstanding the above, as long as I am able, I will always give my two children a helping hand and guide them financially and otherwise. I’ve made a few mistakes as they were growing up as I studied for the greater part of their childhood and I believe that they should share in a level of the spoils of my success since they made sacrifices too.
Some will never be able to afford a holiday or save enough for a mortgage, even they don’t go anywhere, because of low wages and rent and fuel bills are so high they just scrape by hand to mouth every week with nothing to save
Many can’t even scrape by and are running up debts
Some of us did have it tough, but a lot of them have it tough now too
And that’s people working full time plus extra
At least you got a house out of it, many can’t ever see a hope of that at the moment
And I think that probably accounts for a lot of those parents and grandparents who are helping out
They’re not indulging lazy children and grandchildren in a life of luxury, they’re just trying to help them keep a roof over their heads, and fed and warm
Simple answer they need to graft harder and go the extra mile same as we had to. With us houses sold as soon as put on the market. We only managed to get ours because of a relative who apart from other things renovated properties
