In my younger years I was never confident, my nerves ruled my life for many years and I suffered horrendous panic attacks and anxiety. I especially lack confidence in anything classroom based such as courses and I do know why. I had a Maths teacher who picked on me something shocking in School and he sapped any confidence I might have had, I was hopeless at Maths and instead of concentrating on teaching me how to do them he chose to concentrate on picking on me.
As an older woman I am more confident outwardly but inwardly I’m still quite nervous at times, definitely more confident than in my younger years.
The very first time I had to give a presentation I was sweating bricks for hours beforehand. Just before I started my presentation, the CEO asked me to give a brief résumé of my career because I’d only recently joined the company. This totally floored me and completely wrecked what little confidence I had managed to scrape together. Fortunately, my line manager got me out of the crap and I did my 30mins but I’m certain those on the front row could hear my knees aknocking
I never really got over this but having made many technical presentations over the years, it did get much easier and sometimes I would even give presentation without very much preparation - very much seat-of-the-pants jobs.
Confidence to me means that I am comfortable talking to anybody, whether it is the Queen or a poor homeless person. I show all people respect , but if it isn’t returned I will walk away rather than start a battle. I enjoy debates but make an effort not to criticize others who think differently.
I went to a good school where I learned a lot more that the 3 Rs & feel that the good manners I learned there mean that people are happy to talk to me.
We are all nervous at times, especially when we are young, but I feel good manners & the ability not to rudely argue, means people are prepared to listen… and that really boosts your confidence!
I’m not confident and I’m quite shy but over the years I’ve learned how to act as if I am confident and it seems to convince most people, including me!
I have always been quite confident … have to admit I seem to have lost that a bit since I retired… I don’t mean I have lost confidence chatting to people or dealing with them but having the confidence to make decisions and be sure about them… not so sure
I remember once a few years ago an older pal who has since died (bless her) commented that since she retired she lost all confidence in what suited her and shopping was a nightmare … at the time I thought that was a bit weird but I can understand it now.
I too have always been quite shy from a young age.
Looking back at how gorgeous I was late teens and in to my 20s I wonder if I missed a trick!
But hey… I am me… early shyness included. Teaching taught me how to be a confident speaker and parenting gave me contentment and an inner confidence that I lacked as a youngster but sometimes I know that the ‘awkward’ me still shines through. I have been ok with that for a good 10 years or more now though.
As one gets older one worries less about “appearances”. I can’t change who I am, so I have grown in to my own skin and am happy to be the person I am. I am more than other people’s first impressions of me. Those who get to know me properly are friends for life and the adoration is nearly always mutual. I don’t waste time on people I’m unsure about or wary/suspicious of.
What’s that quote?
“You can’t please all of the people all of the time
but you can please some of the people, some of the time”
Many things give confidence upbringing is one .
Supportive loving parents must be one factor but they can only demonstrate what they possess themselves .
Good looks is also a plus . Sadly the world judges on looks and an undeniably attractive people get more positive attention which gives them confidence .
Ability is another .
If someone is good at something they gain confidence .
Money is also a confidence giver well off people tend to be confident .
Am I right ?
Do you need someone to agree with you?
Beauty can also be a curse,getting unwanted attention doesn’t instill confidence I would think.I wouldn’t know about that myself.I agree with your other points.
I don’t agree .
There is a direct correlation between physical attractiveness and confidence attractive people just do well generally eg in job interviews
That’s because they become part of others agendas, one has to wonder who is in control of the individual situations and, if indeed they are joined up, in someway, see a persons confidence can lie in the hands?? of others.
