I heard today that someone on another forum I post on has died. He was 47
I thought of him as an online friend. We’ve been posting on the same forum for 15 years, laughed at each other’s jokes, shared each other’s woes, squabbled, giggled, “liked” each other’s posts. He was a big contributor to the FullEnglish Breakfast thread and it’s never going to be the same without him.
But we’d never met and didn’t pm or anything
So I’m surprised at how sad I am over his death. He was a good bloke, far too young and I’m sorry for his friends and family and I’m going to miss him
So, are online friends “real” friends, do you think?
Sorry to hear about your online friend
I have felt great sense of loss of people who I have known online even though I have never met them .
In a way they are real friends .
Yes, I want to share my sorrow over your loss too, Maree. I do consider online friends to be real friends actually, and would hate to lose them…especially when you don’t have any other way of being in touch. I mean, you found out that your friend had died via other people, and its awful to realise he won’t be around - especially after so long, but I think suddenly losing touch with someone without knowing why must be worse, as there is no closure.
They do feel surprisingly like real friends imo, despite never having met them. I too was terribly sad at hearing about the deaths of 2 longstanding members on another forum. I really did feel as if I ‘knew’ them. They were both prolific posters, and the forum felt changed without them.
On here I have been so very supported by so many members on my thread about my sister. Such kindness and sincerity. So yes, they are all my friends, without a doubt.
They are no less real than “real world” friends. When the relationship is solely online though, the dynamics of the friendship is probably different in some ways. The two things are not exactly the same.
I had an online friend I met via a FB group. Neither of us used FB much, so we chatted via email & after several years she suddenly stopped messaging. I later found out she had had a stroke & had severe memory issues.
Some are and some are not. I lost a very good on-line and phone friend Alice last year to pancreatic cancer. She was only 63 when she died and we had been phone friends since 2003 when we ‘bumped’ into each other on a forum known as Free-4-All. After about a month in the forum, we exchanged phone numbers via PM and we verbally hit it off almost immediately. She was like the sister I never had and as we shared the same sense of humour, it was a good friendship. I was hit hard by Alice’s death and I had to ask her brother Alex to repeat the sad news for it to sink in.
Sharing humour and having the same set of principles and priorities does it for me; that’s when I ‘click’ with someone.
Real life or online, it’s all the same.
Definitely,. I had met an American lady through online games many years ago and we became very good friends . We had a real connection and shared our lives with each other. I remember the day she broke the news to me that she had pancreatic cancer and we cried together as it was incurable.
Her husband and daughter kept me in touch with how she was and then eventually took the time to tell me my dear friend had died and also told me how she talked about how she loved me to her husband before she went unconscious before her death.
Oh yes this friendship was very real indeed. She died around 8 years ago.
In all honesty I dont feel this yet wish I could , I enjoy chatting and laughing with you all, watching the banter backwards and forwards and the odd argument et etc but i do only see you as a group of people who interest me . I wonder what you are like in every day life and wonder what life has been for each of you . Some of you crease me up with your humour and some of you touch me with your gentleness and kindness .
I’m had to learn to be very independent and cope alone so the few friends I have are the touchable kind who knock on my door unexpected just to say hello how are you . And I can reciprocate that when I feel they may want or need human comfort.
This doesn’t mean I dont appreciate you all because you do brighten my life on a daily basis but am I a true friend to you ? No I doubt it , because I am just a few black and white words on a white background .
We just gelled. We had an amazing rapport and looooooooooong conversations. We then met in Atlanta and had a few days there then I went on to Texas for a business meeting. Later that year we were married on the anvil at Gretna Green. And there are - 22 years later.
