For a long time, I rebelled against the idea of gratitude. Thankful to whom? Often when people were telling me to be grateful, it was about being grateful to them or making them feel appreciated. Sure, I’ll practice the etiquette. But then to force myself to feel forced etiquette felt a little annoying.
Then study after study showed that those practicing gratitude had better health outcomes.
I did gratitude journals for years, thinking that doing them was helpful. It wasn’t, for me at least.
More and more, as I read these studies, I think that when they say gratitude, they just mean remembering the good things that have happened and could happen in life. The default is to only remember the bad, so it takes a bit of effort to remember the good.
Without the forced etiquette part, I’m a little more willing to try to remember the good, if only because it’s a nicer feeling than focusing on the bad.
I was raised to recognise that not to show appreciation is down right rude and plain bad manners. It takes little to display gratitude and all of my children were raised to act as I have always done; it’s common decency
I have to agree with @LongDriver. Showing appreciation for someone else’s thoughtfulness and kindness is the way I was brought up and the way my children were brought up too. I never feel that saying thank you to someone is in any way a forced etiquette. Of course, like most good manners we instil in our children, there would have been a time that I was prompted to say it, that’s all part of parenting, of raising your child to be a decent person, but forced etiquette? I find that a rather strange way to view it.
Sure. I do too. But the etiquette is not what makes for better health. The OP is about better health, not about better manners.
OK, and if it made one feel better, then maybe it would improve one’s health. It didn’t work that way for me. Being courteous is one thing. Feeling an enhanced feeling that would improve my health is another, for me at least.
If someone helps you then why shouldn’t you be grateful? Similarly if you help others, then their gratitude should be appreciated by you. Just plain good manners as far as I am concerned, and nothing more to it than that…
I have never stopped to think about whether good manners and etiquette were or were not good for one’s health - but - if we have to be analytical about it - I suppose they may have some impact. If you look at the type of person who has no manners - they do not, in general, appear to be entirely satisfied with their lives. Instead they seem belligerent and malcontent - not exactly healthy.
This is not an either/or situation. People can display the outward characteristics of good manners that are expected of them in social situations and still not feel happier and healthier about it.
It doesn’t mean that someone has to be belligerent and not display the social graces.
It just means that displaying the social graces might not always make one feel happier and healthier.
I tend to have a positive attitude to life in general and do - frequently - count my blessings. Not in the habit of unpicking my day to see if it was good, bad, or indifferent. Over analysis is not, in my opinion, a useful thing. Maybe I am wrong but that is just the way I am.
I find expressing thanks and gratitude to others for their services or kindness makes me feel good too.
Focusing on the positive attitude of gratitude, as discussed the OP article, I think it’s good advice to practice focusing on the good things in your life, both big and small, especially if one is feeling down and tends to dwell on the negative aspects.
I don’t consciously practice gratitude for the good things in my life, in the way the article advises, but it happens quite naturally for me.
My brain tends to easily recall and appreciate every kindness, every bit of good fortune, all the good bits of every stage of my life and glosses over the bad bits.
I’m not sure if I was born wearing rose coloured spectacles or if it was a coping strategy developed during my childhood to survive our dysfunctional family life - it seems to have stood me in good stead for a happy life.
I am rather gushing in my Thanks to those that help me or are kind to me. It’s the fact that they have gone out of their way to help me, when it would have been so easy for them to have made excuses or, not helped me at all.
I think the ‘feel good’ factor that someone has helped you and has been kind, cheers you, puts a bounce in your step and makes you smile. Now that’s a very positive thing.
Worrying and being grumpy is a killer to your health.
Being aware of the good things in life, focussing on the positive, is something I seem to do automatically. I have never seen the point in perpetually going over and over something that was negative and hurtful to me - like picking at scabs, the hurt will never heal. You just have to let go and think of all the good things in life.
It’s kind of similar to having a pessimistic or optimistic approach to life: the pessimist and optimist may ultimately arrive at the same destination, but the optimist has a much more enjoyable journey.
the buddhist monks practice gratitude well usually. Everything that happens to them from waking to sleeping on each and everyday is a lesson to be recognized and considered for their own enhancement but for the enhancement of all humanity. Negative behaviours from others can still be valuable lessons and can sometimes be diverted also to the advantage of all!
Do I practice gratitude? Yes. I always say please and thank you to bus drivers, shop assistants, etc. Does it enhance their day? No idea but it gives me a lift.
Similarly if you help others, then their gratitude should be appreciated by you. Just plain good manners as far as I am concerned, and nothing more to it than that… 
