Saw this lady on TikTok and she cracked me up
So, she’s been told that any word on the U.K. can be an insult as long as you say “absolute” in front of it!
And it’s true isn’t it? 
So, what are the best ones? I think it works with “total” in front too!
You absolute doorknob
You absolute hamburger
You total loo roll …….
Any more favourites?
Absolute Tosser maybe?
Also if it’s online, add a smiley face. That one works for me. 
Hang on … I used to work for a woman who was always telling me I was an absolute star and absolute poppet … I thought she was paying me OTT compliments - but was she insulting me?!
I’ve said this to people too - but always meant it in a nice way! 
Absolute legend is another ‘nice’ one.
However I agree with the woman in the vid, most of the time you can create an insult!
“Absolute nincompoop” is a favorite in the US.
Most of the time, it is said in good humor, but when the voice gets snarky, watch out! 
Absolute nutter.
I have always liked the Australian use of the word “bastard” which can mean anything from “You’re my best mate” to “I hate your guts”
Who can forget Captain Woodfull during the bodyline series when asked for an apology for one of his team calling an England player a bastard said:
“Which of you bastards called this bastard a bastard”
Or the court-marshal during WWI when the Australian troops were accused of calling the cook a bastard, they responded with, “What we want to know is which bastard called this bastard a cook?”
Absolute bellend.I think you can only aim it at men though.
Absolute toast.
The latest insult in French is ‘’ You’re such a quiche’’ ( meaning daff) .
The queen of quiche. ( La reine des quiches) is another one! 
.
Whereas silly boy would be ‘’ What a gherkin!‘’ ( Quel cornichon!) or what a potatoe! ( Quelle patate!).
How about people telling you, you are absolutely incredible, would that be an insult or a compliment? 
An absolute darling is certainly not an insult, is it?
It all depends on the the context.Could be sarcasm.
