Twilight Tales from the Outer Limits of the Darkside

[Trollheart]

If there’s one thing I really enjoy it’s a good anthology show. Series like The Twilight Zone (already featured here), The Outer Limits, Tales from the Crypt, Black Mirror, Monsters.… can’t get enough of them. But some are without question better than others, and almost every one of these series has its bad episodes. So which is better? Which is the best? Well, there’s really only one way to find out, isn’t there?

So I’ve undertaken to watch selected episodes from, so far, twenty different anthology series and compare them against each other. Series range from science fiction, speculative fiction and fantasy to horror, and everything in between. Some of them I had never even heard about, never mind seen, before I began this journal. Over the course of the project so far I’ve come across some absolute gems whose existence I was entirely unaware of, as well as some with so many turkeys they could probably supply the whole eastern seaboard for Thanksgiving.

Episodes are taken at random, using a random number generator, so even the series seen as being the best - the likes of your Twilight Zones, Outer Limits, Black Mirrors etc - may stumble at times if I happen to select a bad episode. This will make it fairer and more equitable, as otherwise I could just go straight to the best episodes of each that I know will score high, and tip the balance unfairly in their favour.

The format? Glad you asked. Oh, you didn’t ask? Well I’m going to tell you anyway.

There will be three separate section, with the third one broken into two parts. Why you ask? Wait till I tell you, I answer. Don’t be so impatient. Section one is called “The Classics”, for obvious reasons, and will feature the shows I, and probably you, know best; the ones already established in this era and the ones that I can, hopefully, reasonably expect to reward me the most with more good than bad episodes.

Section 2 is called "Ye Lesser Mortals " (shut up) and features shows I know of, or have seen the odd episode of, which have been running for some time and can be seen in one way to be nearly the descendants of the classics. Sort of.

Section 3 is “New Kids on the Block” and covers all the other shows, mostly the newer ones, ones which only began in the twenty-first century. Because I have more shows of this type than in the other sections, I’ve split this into two separate parts, as I mentioned above (see? I told you I’d explain it if you just waited).

Each section will feature fairly detailed synopses of an episode from each show, with my own comments and a rating. At the end of the round the shows will be ranked and then fit into a chart, which will show which of the series impresses me the most, which is at the top, and over the course of a few rounds it will be interesting to see if the positions are maintained or not.

Comment as usual is invited, but not that much expected. At worst, it should hopefully provide an entertaining read, and might bring back memories of certain shows to some of you. For others, it may encourage you to try out some of the shows here, and for still others, give you a reason to roll your eyes and stick on your headphones and shake your head in a “he’s at it again, for the love of all that’s holy, when will he stop?” kind of way. Spoiler: answer is - never.

Okay then, I can’t resist using an obvious pun so:
Let’s get this show on the road.

[Trollheart]

“Doo-doo-doo-doo Doo-doo-doo-doo” etc…

ROUND ONE, SECTION I: THE CLASSICS

Title: “Shades of Guilt”
Series: The Twilight Zone
Season: 1 (Second reboot)
Year: 2002
Writer(s): Ira Steven Behr

Storyline: A man who refuses to help a black man who is being pursued by attackers at night, and drives off and leaves him to his fate awakes the next morning with unexplained pain, manifesting itself in cuts and bruises on his body. He then sees in the newspaper (it’s like a printed, solid form of the internet kids: work it out) that the man he left to be beaten up was in fact beaten to death. He’s now wracked with guilt, literally. The pains continue and get worse, but now he starts to exhibit a more frightening outward sign: his skin is darkening, and he’s becoming a black man. Not only that: THE black man, the same one he left to die. Oh, you can see it already can’t you? I bet some of his last words are “I’m not black! Don’t kill me!” or something along those lines. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. His wife doesn’t recognise him (duh) and his dog attacks him and as he runs out of his house his neighbour, who of course does not recognise him either, shoots at him, as you Americans do.

The cops are soon after him, and old Matt McGreevy begins to find out what life as a black person is like. Taxis won’t stop, his credit card is no good, people look suspiciously at him. He has the perhaps not entirely brilliant idea of going to the house of the dead man, John Woodrell, and looking as he does his, or rather, Woodrell’s brother can’t believe it’s not him. He asks to speak to his, that is, Woodrell’s wife, hoping that if she can understand, if she can forgive him, he may change back. The brother is dubious, also disgusted when McGreevy says that if he had known John Woodrell was a college professor he would have helped. As if that somehow makes a difference. But she can see through him. He’s not sorry, only desperate to be changed back. She asks him the most pertinent and damning question she can, and the only one that matters: if her husband had been a white guy, would he have helped him? McGreevy’s silence is her answer and she turns away.

The end scene then plays out as you might expect. Wandering, friendless and persistently and knowingly black, he’s jumped by some white guys who kick the shit out of him, and when a white motorist happens upon them and he asks for help yadda yadda yadda. The ending writes itself. Oh no wait it doesn’t. My mistake. What happens is that the scene resets. He’s in Woodrell’s body, but kind of not, as it’s him in the car and this time he drives off but then changes his mind and comes back, saving Woodrell. And thereby himself. Okay, not that bad really if a little confusing.

Comments: All right, not quite what I had expected but I do have questions. One, what was John Woodrell doing out in the rain, walking so close to his own house if he knows, as he must, that the area is so bad? And how are the Woodrells able to live in such an obviously whites-only area? He doesn’t run far, so it’s not like he’s miles away when he’s attacked.

Second, at what point does the bodyswap reverse, as it were? When Woodrell is attacked by the skinheads, his demeanour is more McGreevy’s to me - okay he doesn’t say “I’m white”, so I was wrong there but he doesn’t act like he expects to be attacked. So when does time reset? Hard to suss it. I thought this was another white guy stopping for him, then realised it was McGreevy himself, but how can he be in two…

All right, my head hurts. I would have preferred to have seen him stuck as a black man and having to learn to live with that, see the world through other eyes. But the writer took the easy way out and gave us a happy ending. Meh. By now, walk in my shoes, see the world through my eyes, get a new perspective stories have been done to death, and while this has a certain charm it’s nothing new at all. I guess it got its message of “we’re all brothers under the skin” over tolerably well, though the writer does kind of bash you over the head with it. I thought it might have been more effective had the white guy not realised he was black, till he saw himself in the car mirror as he pleaded with another white guy to save him. Meh. Meh I say!

Rating:

[Trollheart]

i]There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust it. We are in control - what? We’re not in control? Form 1775A? What form 1775A? Listen mate, I’m a fucking Controller, right? I don’t have time for your bureaucratic red tape and bloody forms - what? Until I fill in the appropriate form I am not authorised to take control of anyone’s television? Since when? Now just you look here a - hello? HEL-LO?[/i]

Title: “Beyond the Veil”
Series: The Outer Limits
Season: 2 (Reboot)
Year: 1996
Writer(s): Chris Brancato

Storyline: Eddie Wexler has had enough of being abducted by aliens, so he decides to end it all, but is rescued by paramedics when he makes a 911 call. Taken to a psychiatric facility, the only one set up to deal specifically and solely with alien abductees, he meets another man there, who is called Quasgo and tells him that he too has been regularly abducted. He says there is a “traitor” in the place, an alien in human guise. Eddie becomes friendly with another abductee, a girl called Courtney. Eddie begins therapy; he’s told by the doctor in charge, Sherrick, that he will experience “hallucinations”, and he starts seeing aliens conducting experiments on him. But are these just hallucinations, or is something more sinister going on?

Well, it’s The Outer Limits: of course something more sinister is going on!

Dr. Sherrick is very brusque and unfeeling, seems to be pushing everyone and when he pushes Courtney Eddie stands up for her. Suddenly he sees the doctor as an alien. Nobody else seems to, though, and he’s quickly sedated. (Let me just throw my hat into the ring here: they’re ALL aliens, and he’s on a spaceship, maybe the last human left alive? Meh, probably wrong but there’s my guess. Or maybe he’s an alien and they’re trying to deprogramme him?)

Anyway Courtney visits him and gives him a piece of paper she has taken from Sherrick’s office, which seems to have alien writing on it. Quasgo tells him he’s not mad, despite what Sherrick says; there are aliens here, and they must expose them. Eddie decides to escape and take Courtney with him, but when they go to find Quasgo he seems to have killed himself. When Courtney is prevented from leaving due to the hold Sherrick has on her through her family, she ends up being killed in one of the sessions, and Eddie, furious, desperate and bereft, kills Sherrick, throwing him down a flight of stairs.

Then it turns out it wasn’t Sherrick who was the alien, but some other doctor guy who hasn’t featured in the programme in any way so far, and Eddie ends up in a loony bin. Jesus Christ.

Comments: Fucking awful. I thought I had it worked out (as I said above) but man was I wrong. The ending was terrible; a guy who hasn’t featured in the episode up to now is suddenly unmasked at the end, like a character shoe-horned in at the last minute in a bad mystery novel, and he’s the alien. What the actual blue jumping fuck was that about? How Chris Brancato, who wrote and created Narcos, Godfather of Harlem and First Wave could pen this drivel is beyond me. The cinematography was great, the atmosphere evoked, the tension built up but in the end it all fizzled into less than a damp squib and left me feeling completely betrayed and pissed off that I wasted my time watching this. I could have written four better endings, and in fact now I have an idea for a story based around a similar theme.

Rating: (and it’s lucky to be getting that!)

[Trollheart]

WARNING! If you watch this one there is a lot of sexual content and literally full frontal nudity in it. Be warned. Or, you know, not.

Title: “On a Deadman’s Chest”
Series: Tales from the Crypt
Season: 4
Year: 1992
Writer(s): Larry Wilson

Storyline: Danny, the cocksure frontman of rock band Exorcist hates the fact that his bandmate, Nick, has got married, and wants the new wife out. His groupie girlfriend shows him her snake tattoo, which appears to be alive, as it sticks out a tongue at him (don’t ask me from where; use your imagination or watch it) and tells him the guy who did it is a “magician”. She’s going to introduce him to Danny, and takes him to a strange backstreet tattoo parlour on the wrong side of the tracks. The girl leaves him and Danny enters the place alone, but can’t find anyone until a big guy appears. He sneers at Danny when he says he wants a tiger; the tattoo artist says everyone’s skin has a story to tell, and his talent is to bring it out onto the surface.

Danny isn’t best pleased though when the tattoo is finished, as it depicts Scarlet, the new wife of his bandmate, and some sort of dragon thing. He storms out, furious and aghast. The tattoo guy watches him as he departs, refusing to hand over his money. He smiles “You’ll pay later.” On his return, Danny argues with Scarlet and then with his groupie girlfriend (I think she may be called Vendetta? Not sure), accusing her of setting him up with the tattoo artist, though she swears she had nothing to do with it. She then helps him get it removed, but it comes back, and seems to come to life.

Vendetta (let’s just call her that for handiness’ sake, okay?) tells him ominously that if he gets rid of Scarlet for real the tattoo may vanish, and as she has already intimated to him that Nick, the guitarist and the real force behind Exorcist, is thinking of going solo, he gets even more angry at her, while at the same time trying to patch things up with Nick. Then he goes and brutally murders Scarlet. Later, he seems to see the tattoo bleeding, reflecting Scarlet’s bleeding face as he killed her, then on stage it seems to be swelling, rising within his chest as if something is trying to get out…

… and then a dragon bursts, Alien-like, out of his chest. Well of course it does. Except maybe it’s in Danny’s mind, because when Nick, having heard that his wife has been murdered by the singer, bursts into his room, Danny has carved out the piece of skin that had Scarlet’s face on it and is holding it in his hand, with a big gaping hole in his chest. Right. Always said tattoos were a bad idea.

Comments: Pretty stupid really. I mean, yes, at the end it’s left up to you as to whether all the pulsing, changing and eventually the emergence of the dragon was in Danny’s mind or whether it actually happens, though given that there’s no corpse of a dragon in the room one would assume the former. It’s a pretty poor stereotypical look at a rock band, with Danny on the edge really from minute one and just plunging further down the rabbit hole into madness, and there’s no reason given for why Vendetta hates Scarlet and encourages Danny to kill her, other than that she just hates her. Poor writing, and a very stupid ending.

And here was me, thinking it was going to be about pirates…

Rating: star:

[Trollheart]

“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But, there is, unseen by most, another world, just as real but not as brightly lit. A darkside.”

Title: “Red Leader”
Series: Tales from the Darkside
Season: 3
Year: 1987
Writer(s): Edithe Swensen

Storyline: A sleazy real estate broker is not exactly crying over the death of his partner, or ex-partner in the firm. Jake got into debt and Alex “helped him out” with a loan, which ended up handing all of Jake’s stock to his partner. Now that he’s dead, Jake’s widow has nothing. All her stock, held through her husband, is gone, her car has been repossessed and there is no windfall coming to her. She’s hardly heartbroken either: she admits she only married Jake for his cash, and now that he’s gone and she’s lost everything, she turns her charm on Alex, but he’s not interested, knowing the kind of woman she is.

After she’s gone, the building starts to shake. Earthquake? But no: a drill starts to pound through the floor and there’s an unearthly red light coming through the crack it’s making. A moment later, Jake steps out of it, looking somewhat the worse for wear, and tells Alex he’s escaped from Hell, though only temporarily. He’s come looking for the books - the right books, not the ones Alex and he showed IRS when audited. The real deal, that shows what crooks they both are. He needs these, in order to gain the respect he believes he’s due Down Below, and in order to rise through the ranks and become what he calls a Minion, which we can only assume is a sort of lieutenant or manager. There’s a big construction gig going on down there right now, and he’s not being trusted with any of the big stuff. He wants to show Satan that he has the right - or perhaps that should be the wrong - stuff.

Alex isn’t too keen though. He’s done some shady deals with Jake over the years, and he doesn’t want those broadcast all over Hell. He refuses, trying to shoot Jake, but then, Jake is already dead, so that doesn’t exactly work out. Then it seems Jake’s time is running out, as a real Minion arrives and starts to drag him back. Seeing his chance, Alex throws his ex-partner under the bus, laying all sort of good deeds at his feet, trying to make out that he was a good guy, and does not deserve any sort of promotion in the ranks of evil.

While they’re arguing, another man appears, this one called, with appropriate awe and reverence by the Minion, Red Leader. Of course this is the Devil himself and he reveals that Jake did not escape, Red Leader let him go in order to provide him the opportunity to meet with Alex. Oh yes, Red Leader is very interested in Alex Hayes! He offers him a top job, authority over millions, plenty of opportunity to skim, but Alex isn’t fooled. He doesn’t, he says, belong in Hell and as he’s still alive this Red Leader can’t take him against his will. Red Leader leaves, but he assures Alex he will be back. When he’s gone Jake’s widow enters and, seeing the gun Alex had tried to shoot Jake with, picks it up and shoots him, and kicks him into the hole which leads down to Hell. So it looks like he’s going to be taking that job after all!

Comments: Ah yes! This is more like it! I can’t believe that, of all the anthology shows, the one I rate least has come up with, so far, the best episode. I never have time for Tales from the Darkside, but I have to admit they pulled it out of the bag with this one. Some shitty acting, definitely - Jake’s reappearance from Hell doesn’t even faze Alex; he never once says I must be dreaming or anything, and when the widow comes back she remarks on the hole in the ground, yes, but basically ignores it after that. Plus what is it with that door? It sounds so loud and ominous, like a door on the Enterprise turned up to ten! But overall, a good morality tale, and not entirely predictable. I like the nod back to A Christmas Carol when Red Leader tells Alex “You’ve been working on your resume for some time now.” Class.

Stories utilising damnation and the Devil can’t, even by the 1980s or 1990s, be said to be anything like original, but this one is handled in a semi-original way, sort of looking to the corporate world as the embodiment of Hell, so kudos on that. Everyone bar the widow works well. Jake, as the eternal second-rate guy wanting to lord it over his own empire, being in his wheelhouse for once; the Devil (Red Leader) working out the details of his offer to Alex, even the Minion who goes after Jake, all very good. The widow almost lets it down; of them all she’s the only one really serious. Even Alex can’t keep a straight face. Good interaction. The idea of using Hell as a place where the more evil you are the more promotion you can earn is a clever one, and using goodness as a way of “losing the interview” is good.

Rating:

[Trollheart]

Title: “Nosedive”
Series: Black Mirror
Season: 3
Year: 2016
Writer(s): Charlie Brooker, Rashida Jones, Michael Schurr

Storyline: In a world of the - probably not too distant - future, Lacie, like everyone, is obsessed with rating on phone apps, and getting ratings. Everyone wants to be rated five stars, and most are. The quest for positive feedback consumes the lives of everyone on Earth, but this of course is a two-edged sword. Get enough negative feedback and you are toast. One of Lacie’s co-workers, Chester, is being ostracised for his breakup, with everyone “on the side of” the other party, and nobody is rating him. He’s slipped to a score of 3.1, unheard of and socially really dangerous in this image-important world.

Lacie wants to move to an upscale area, but the high price tag is off-putting, However, if she can raise her rating to 4.5 she will get a discount. This won’t be easy though and she will have to start moving in more rarefied circles to meet the “quality people” she needs to “boost” her rating in time to meet the requirements for her new house. Her chance comes when her old friend Naomi, now a model or actress or something, invites her to be her maid of honour. She knows that there will be all top A-listers at the wedding, and although her brother reminds her that she and Naomi were less than friends when younger - Naomi was very mean to her and slept with her boyfriend - she can’t turn down this chance and so pretends he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Hell, the girl lives on her own private island! Getting to 4.5 will be a breeze!

Ah but maybe not. Things start to go wrong for her as soon as she leaves her house. She bumps into a woman, who immediately gives her one star (the horror!) and then at the airport her flight is cancelled, and losing her temper and using profanity gets her docked until she’s at 3.1. There’s not only no way she can’t fly now, she is instructed by airport security to leave the airport! So now she has to rent a car, but because of her reduced rating she can only get a piece of crap. Still, at least she’s on her way. Until the car’s battery runs out and she discovers that it’s such an old car that the charging station doesn’t fit it. She then has to hitch-hike and nobody will pick her up as she is now down to 2.8. Eventually a truck driver stops - she’s 1.4, and for a moment Lacie considers not taking the lift, but she does and the trucker, a woman called Susan, tells her how she lost faith in this whole rating system, how empty and hollow it revealed itself to be, and how she no longer gives a damn about ratings.

Naomi calls Lacie and tells her not to come to the wedding as she’s now only a lowly 2.6. This was not unexpected by me, but Lacie seems to be surprised. She decides to go ahead and crash the party anyway, wanting to deliver her speech in order to get the votes she needs. Of course it all goes wrong: she’s downvoted to zero, especially when she picks up a knife and has to be arrested and thrown in jail. There, bereft of the cameras in her eyes (were there cameras in her eyes? I think there were cameras in her eyes) and her phone, she is free finally to tell people what she really thinks about them, not what she thinks they want to hear; free to think, rather than just rate, to actually express her opinion without the fear of what it will cost her.

Comments: Black Mirror is seldom less than wonderful, and this is another case in point. Brooker shows us in all its stark, naked, supremely stupid reality the kind of world we’re heading for, where our consumerist, image-conscious, ratings-obsessed slavery to social media ends up dumbing down the human race till all we are in the end is a statistic on someone else’s phone. People are now discriminated not by colour or race, but by rating. Shows you how empty, hollow and really faceless and grey Facebook and Instagram and all that shit really is. I hated this for the image it portrayed of society, or rather for showing me the truth, but I loved it for the very same reason. If there’s one man who tells it like it is and does not give a shit, it’s Charlie Brooker. Excellent story, even if the behaviour of the characters made me grind my teeth. I imagine I was supposed to.

Slightly disappointed in the ending: A bit downbeat but with a clever and important message. I would have liked to have seen Lacie spill out Naomi’s secrets and that resulting in all her friends downvoting her, making her as miserable and as much an outcast as Lacie, perhaps losing her husband.

Rating:

(Isn’t it delicious irony that I have to rate this episode?)